Barrow Beyond Under-butler Sequel to Footman in Training
by footmanintraining
Summary: Visiting Thomas's life and relationships following the story Footman in Training, a life complicated but beautiful in ways Thomas never anticipated.
1. Chapter 1

Teddy put his arm around Thomas's shoulders and gave him a squeeze. "This isn't the reaction I expected!" he said with a laugh, though his tone was apologetic.

Thomas closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose while he chuckled. "Me either."

Eric patted Thomas's back and shook his head. "I love when I get to see you emote," he said while ruffling Thomas's hair.

Thomas swatted Eric away and fixed his hair. He patted Teddy's arm and stepped away, reaching for a cigarette as he wiped his eyes. "Mind if I walk around alone for a bit?"

Teddy swept his arm towards the vast view before them. "By all means."

Thomas's flight in Teddy's airplane was more moving than he could have ever expected. He sat in the middle of Teddy's six seater plane, while Eric took the seat next to Teddy. Eric didn't attempt to hide how much he enjoyed watching Teddy in the pilot's seat. With Teddy focused on flying, and Eric focused on Teddy, Thomas felt virtually alone in the plane; just him, the sky, and the miles of earth he could see from his lofty position.

Thomas loved working in the shop, loved living in his flat, loved having full control over how he spent his free time. He felt like his horizons had already expanded exponentially beyond what he experienced in all his years in service. And yet there was clearly so much more left to see and do, he realized, looking at the land from a view he never had before.

The only other time Thomas flew was during the War, or rather the end of the War for him. His hand crudely stitched and bandaged, he held it close to his chest while seated in a windowless plane alongside other injured soldiers. It could have been night or day, he had no idea, until the hatch opened to the rising sun. He hadn't thought of that day in a long time, and actually didn't mind that he thought of it now. It served to show him exactly how much his life had improved since those days.

Pebbles crunched under Thomas's shoes as he walked across the primitive landscape. No buildings, no people, no vehicles. Just the expanse of the sea, the rocky beach, tall grasses, and diminutive, barkless trees beaten by the wind and water. Thomas picked up a flat, smooth gray stone and put it in his pocket. He picked up another and approached the water, his footing becoming a little tenuous as the rocks became larger. He looked far into the distance and then skipped the stone across the calm, deep blue water. It made a satisfying series of small splashes before making a "plunk" sound and disappeared below the surface. He searched the ground for more flat stones, and once his hand was full, he skipped one after the other, each one going further than the last.

His hands were sandy, and he carefully approached the water's edge, avoiding getting his shoes wet. He put his hands in the water and let the tide rinse him clean. He understood why so many people felt drawn to the water as a way of cleansing their soul, washing away their sins. It was always a place he felt his most calm and collected. If Teddy or Eric were talking in the distance, they must have been doing so quietly. All Thomas could hear was the water and the occasional bird song.

Being near the ocean always made him think of David. Was he somewhere touching it, too? Were they both connected by the sea? David was supposed to be gone for twelve weeks before he would take a trip home, which felt like an eternity at the time. But a twelve week trip to Australia grew into a twelve month trot around the globe with several different writers, not just Eric, and for magazines besides Lady Edith's. His illustration style was becoming popular, Thomas had even noted attempts to copy David's style in other publications. Eric had warned Thomas that David could be gone six months to a year, but it sounded shorter in theory. Of course he was happy for David, Thomas told anyone who asked. He told himself, too, but the hole David's absence left in his heart was getting difficult to bear, and his ways of coping weren't filling that hole like they used to.

His friends knew it, too, and Thomas ventured to guess it was why Eric suggested a day trip together. It was also Eric who pulled Thomas down from the ceiling whenever he had a few drinks and started to question if there were hidden motives to David's ongoing adventure without a single stop home. Eric reminded Thomas it was too expensive for magazines to pay for trips to England when they could spend that money sending David on to the next adventure. In private, Eric implored Teddy to pay David's way for a quick holiday in London, but Teddy felt he had spent enough money kicking off David's career and felt David should take care of the rest. Thomas was never told of Teddy's secret financing of David's first journey, or his refusal to help bring him home. Eric never expressed his own private thoughts that David should be able to pay his way home now, too.

"Can we join you yet?" Eric called across the vacant vista.

Thomas motioned with his arm that they could. While they made their way, Thomas collected more rocks and handed them to each man upon their arrival. Eric began skipping them right away, but Teddy looked down at his hand and then out at the water.

"Don't you know how to skip a stone?" Eric asked without taking his eyes off the water.

"Yes, that's why I'm just standing here like a fool."

Thomas stood by Teddy's side. "It's a little like throwing a cricket ball. Do you know how to do that?"

Teddy rolled his eyes. "I'm not that daft."

"Easy, easy. There's no judgement, I'm trying to help. You hold the stone a little like a cricket ball," Thomas said, demonstrating by holding a stone between his thumb and forefinger. "And you basically pitch it like you would in cricket. Stand to the side," Thomas said, stepping one foot backward, "then throw straight and cock your wrist at the end." The stone skipped four times and then disappeared.

Teddy took a step back, but hesitated.

"No judgement."

"Can Eric promise the same?"

Eric turned his back to the men. "I'm not even looking."

Teddy took a breath in through his nose and then followed the motions Thomas demonstrated. His stone skipped two times before disappearing.

"Brilliant!" Thomas said with a sincere smile.

Teddy returned the smile with a slight blush. "That's a little excessive but it was a good first try."

Eric turned back around. "Let me see it this time."

Teddy turned his face away, blushing a bit more. "Now that you're watching I'll probably trip up." He followed the motions again, and the rock skipped three times.

Eric jogged over to Teddy and hugged him from behind, sliding his arms under Teddy's and around his waist. "You look so sexy when you're being sporty," he said, kissing the side of Teddy's neck.

Teddy leaned into the kiss and closed his eyes. "I have three more stones, what else are you willing to kiss?"

Thomas waved his arms. "Hey, hello, I'm right here."

Eric held a hand out to Thomas. "You know you're always welcome to join."

"Ach, the both of you," he said, skipping the last stone in his hand. "I'll see you back at the plane."

Thomas walked away shaking his head, the other two men giggling like boys while they nuzzled closer. About a hundred paces away Thomas looked back and though he could only see them from behind, he could tell Eric's hands had traveled much lower as Teddy let the remaining stones fall from his hand. He shook his head again and continued walking.

He could admit to himself that he was jealous. He had gone longer than a year without the touch of another man before, but not while in love. It was one thing to crave it just for the sake of it, another to crave it in his soul. He turned around one more time and regretted it, just able to make out Eric on his knees in front of Teddy. He refused to stay jealous for long, though. It wouldn't be forever until he saw David again. And he believed the David that would come back to him would be a little older, wiser, and more worldly. Some more maturity on David's part certainly couldn't hurt.

The warm and humorous letters David sent, biweekly without fail, kept the spark inside Thomas lit. David would always respond to everything Thomas wrote in his letters, when his letters actually made their way to him. It was difficult to reach a constantly moving man.

There were little doodles in most of the letters, too. Some were to help describe the places he saw and people he met, others were there simply to make Thomas laugh. Thomas treasured every letter, keeping them all in a hat box on his dresser. The occasional photograph David included would be posted on Thomas's mirror, and any self portraits David sent were taped to the wall by Thomas's bed, with the exception of the smallest self portrait, which Thomas kept in his wallet.

Thomas ran his hands along the outside of the small plane, the metal still warm from the flight. He closed his eyes and recalled the trip, smiling as he remembered how extraordinary everything looked from above. With all of the art-related books he had read to connect with David, he wondered if he might be able to capture a bit of what he experienced to show his beloved. It seemed only fair after all of the drawings David sent his way.

When Teddy and Eric finally made their way to the plane, arm in arm, Thomas was over his jealousy and shared his thoughts about taking a stab at drawing. Teddy only nodded, but Eric thought it was a grand idea and offered to let Thomas borrow some of his supplies; supplies he wasn't always sure how to use, but that didn't stop him from trying. Inspired, Thomas was even more observant on the way home, removing himself from some of his emotions to objectively take in the view. Eric sat with Thomas for the flight back, his hunger for Teddy temporarily satisfied. They chatted loudly above the engine noise about the panoramas they witnessed below. Even if he wasn't able to capture a fraction of what he saw, Thomas knew David would be overjoyed by his attempt.

All three men were famished by the time they landed. Teddy offered to drive them back to his home so the cook could whip something up, but Thomas wanted to do something in exchange for the wonderful day. His flat was always tidy, and lately it was always full of fresh foods. He had taken to cooking and baking, not only for sustenance, but also as a hobby. And if he were being honest, to practice before David came home to him. He had dreams of a multiple course meal prepared for David in his kitchen. Why not share some of what he learned with his friends, he thought.

Teddy and Eric offered to help, but Thomas shooed them away to the table. They snacked on fruit Thomas set out in a bowl while they played a game of cribbage. Thomas worked at the counter, a small smile on his face the entire time, his fortune of being able to entertain friends in his own home not lost on him. Though he never had to lift a finger for his meals at Downton, it was much more satisfying to make them himself, and to only have to serve the people of his choosing.

"Smells good," Eric said with a piece of apple in his mouth.

Teddy swallowed before speaking. "Agreed."

"It's nothing special," Thomas said.

"Liar," Eric said, still chewing.

When their meal was ready, Thomas presented plates to his guests and then joined them with his own. He encouraged them to continue their game and was satisfied to simply eat and watch. He agreed to take on the winner.

Eric lost, and after winning easily over Teddy, Thomas retrieved a cake from the ice box.

"You made this?" Eric asked in awe.

Thomas placed it on the table. "It's a very simple cake."

"Neither of us could make something like that," Teddy chimed in.

"Well," Thomas began, retrieving his cake server. "I must admit, I had several flops before my first success."

Eric picked up his fork, but Teddy put his hand over Eric's. "Our friend took his time to make this cake," Teddy said as he patted Eric's hand. "Do not inhale it in two bites."

"Yes, Eric," Thomas added, "there is such a thing as savoring food."

Eric put his nose in the air. "In some cultures that's a sign of appreciation."

Thomas smiled and patted Eric's other hand. "I may not have traveled much, but I don't believe that's true."

Eric held both of the men's hands and looked back and forth between them. "We could always work our appetites back up before cake," he said, nodding to the bedroom.

Thomas pulled his hand back, stabbed Eric's cake with a fork, and put the fork to Eric's mouth. "You've already had a romp today, eat your cake anyway you like and then head home if you need another treat."

Teddy squeezed Eric's hand before letting go. "It was worth asking, Eric."

Eric ate the bite from the fork in Thomas's hand, then took a bigger piece with his fork. "I promise to never stop asking."

"That's one of the reasons I love you so much," Teddy said, taking a small bite of his cake.

Thomas sighed and ate, a hint of jealousy bubbling up again over his friends' ability to express their affection however they wanted, whenever they wanted.

The flirting was always a bit flattering, though, and while he never took the bait, it didn't mean he wanted the bating to stop. He smiled a little as he continued eating, pretending to ignore Eric's knee resting against his under the table, as well as Teddy's peek at his throat as he swallowed. It was nice to be wanted, even if it was by two men who might sleep with anyone with a cock and a pulse.

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" Eric asked, cutting through the fantasy that was worming its way through Thomas's mind.

Thomas chuckled. "Work. The thing I do every Monday. And Tuesday. And every day that isn't Sunday."

"And also sometimes Sunday," Teddy said between bites.

Thomas nodded.

"Ah, yes," Eric replied, "I forget most people have a recurring schedule rather than famine famine feast, famine famine feast."

"Well, we could always use a hand at the shop if you'd prefer something more mundane."

Eric shook his head. "Hardly mundane work, Thomas."

Thomas shrugged. "Well, it might be mundane to you's what I mean. I really enjoy it"

"I'm a creature of habit, I usually use the same pocket watch everyday," Teddy said as he finished a sip of water.

"If you ever want another one, or a wristwatch, you know who to ask," Thomas said, standing to clear their plates.

Eric put his hand on Thomas's arm and stood. "Let me do that. The least I can do today is clean up, I haven't contributed much else."

"Oh, sure you have," Teddy said with a grin.

Thomas wiped his hands on his napkin and took the few steps across his flat to his sofa. "Boys, enough with the banter. You'll be home soon enough and you can have whatever indecent chat you want in private."

"Privacy is boring," Eric said from the sink.

"Look at that, something we agree on," Teddy replied.

Thomas laid down and covered his eyes with the crook of his arm. "You're incorrigible, children."

"Such naughty boys, aren't we?" Teddy cooed.

Eric scrubbed a plate and smiled at Teddy. "I know I could use some discipline."

Teddy narrowed his eyes at Eric and mouthed "stop that".

Eric mouthed back, "make me".

Thomas sat up and took his arm from his eyes. "I can even feel you two flirting!"

Teddy ran to the couch, sat down, and hugged Thomas to his chest. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I'll be good."

Thomas let Teddy hug him and sighed in surrender. "I'm prickly because I'm jealous."

Teddy rocked Thomas in his arms. "Your little strumpet will come home soon, I'm sure."

Thomas poked Teddy in the ribs lightly but didn't push him away. "I hope so."

"He will," Eric said with conviction. "And he's not a strumpet, Teddy."

Teddy let go of Thomas and kissed his cheek lightly. "Whatever you say."

Thomas felt his heart flutter in response to the kiss and rose from the couch. "I'm a bit tired," he said, taking a step away.

Teddy smiled up at Thomas. "Go rest, my friend. We'll clean up and let ourselves out."

"Well one of us will clean up," Eric said, holding up the rag in his hands.

"Thank you for today, truly," Thomas said from his bedroom doorway. "If you want to visit me again this week, you know where I'll be," he added, tapping his watch.

"What about Sunday?" Teddy asked.

"Only time will tell," Thomas replied as he shut the door.

David set his rucksack on a carpet of leaves and grabbed his canteen. Though the air was cool, he was drenched in sweat from his wide-brimmed hat to the toes of his tall leather boots. Why do the best views always have to be the hardest to reach, he wondered. His partners on the trip were all strangers to him, their first meeting was four miles ago at the base of the mountain. Only one spoke English, and David had learned enough basic phrases in Manderine to communicate a little with the others.

He set to draw what he saw, having perfected the quickest way to set up his easel and implements. The lighting wouldn't have been his first choice, but the illustrator tended to be the lowest priority on these outings. He was expected to imagine what he might see at another time of day, which felt inauthentic to him, but he understood that time was money and obliged.

The other men stopped to have a drink from their canteens, then continued on the hike. David would either catch up, or they would collect him on the way back down.

David wasn't particularly passionate about his current project. There was something about capturing a scene for people back home to fantasize over that never sat right with him. The places he visited often held unique histories and special traditions, yet the goal of his being there was to expose those things to people who merely wanted to adulterate that history and tradition for their home and fashion. Even worse were Westerners who traveled East and left their messy fingerprints on everything they touched.

"Commercial art and art for the sake of art are very different things," Eric had told David on their first trip. "Try not to let it get you down."

However, the more David traveled, the more guilty he felt about his work. He still appreciated the opportunity he was given, but wished there was a way to share the beauty of his travels for people to appreciate rather than consume.

That evening he opened a letter from Thomas that he had kept in his breast pocket all day. He grinned ear to ear as he read about Thomas's most recent baking adventure, his nights out with his friend Kait, and his weekly dinners with David's brother and his family. His heart ached for home, but he had barely been able to put away enough money to pay for a flat when he returned. He hadn't anticipated how many costs would fall on his shoulders while traveling, some months he could scarcely save anything for himself. The last thing he wanted was to return only to have Thomas have to help finance his existence. And what would he do for money while home? He was building a reputation capturing alluring, "exotic" places and their people, who would hire him for anything else?

He realized his smile had faded as he longed for home. He closed his eyes and reminded himself how lucky he was, and how he would see Thomas soon enough, somehow. Maybe Christmas, he thought.

He laid on his stomach on the floor of his tent and began writing his reply. He smiled again, imagining the paper in Thomas's hands, and smiled even bigger as he doodled a naughty little drawing in the margin of the page.

Meals were his responsibility unless he was staying with someone local, and he found he was able to get by relatively well on dried meat and bread, along with whatever he may have found while out and about. One of the men on the hike had pointed out some wild berries that were edible, and David ate them slowly while finishing his letter. He wasn't savoring them; instead, they weren't quite ripe and were rather bitter, but food was food and he needed to eat.

After finishing his letter to Thomas, David began a letter to Eric. He considered Eric a friend, but he also recognized it was an important professional relationship. Keeping the communication going kept David on Eric's mind, which meant potential for more work. There was also a part of David, a part he didn't even admit to himself, that wanted to keep himself in the forefront of Eric's mind so that he remembered Thomas wasn't an eligible bachelor anymore. David would always have a bit of paranoia that someone would swoop in while he was continents away. He trusted Thomas, but still, he didn't want anyone testing that trust.

David joined the other men around the fire for dinner. He smiled and engaged in the conversation as best he could, then shared some candy he bought in the city after the meal. Other men usually talked of things back home, the women waiting for them, or the women they wished were waiting. Some had children, other jobs, other obligations. David didn't share much. Years ago, he thought, he may have made up a tale to fit in the conversation. But lies never resulted in anything positive, and so David mostly listened when he wasn't able to contribute. It was making him a better listener in the process, he thought, and more thoughtful when he spoke. He wondered if the letters he sent home reflected any of this, or if it was mostly in his head. Either way, it made him feel like these experiences were helping him grow, and when he eventually did return home, he would feel better prepared to reengage with friends, family, and most importantly, with Thomas.

Thomas flipped through his keys one by one until he came to the short brass key that opened the door to the shop. Except for the jingle of the bells as he opened the door, the store was serenely silent. He locked the door behind himself, doing it quietly so as not to disrupt the atmosphere. He hung his hat and coat on a hook in the back room, and while he was there, retrieved the keys to unlock the display cabinets. Over the months he worked there, he had developed a routine, including always setting up the cases in a clockwise direction, starting at the window display. As much as he enjoyed Sam's company, he enjoyed his routine most when he was the sole person in the store.

Once the cases were set, Thomas retrieved money from the safe and set up the cash register for the day, always checking twice that the safe was locked behind him. He huffed and rolled his eyes as he opened the register, bills and coins from the prior day still left inside. Sam always seemed to forget to close the cash register when he closed the store alone. Thomas made a mental note to gently remind Sam when he arrived later that morning. He finished setting up the register and returned the extra money to the safe, checking twice again before he left the back room.

A very slight amount of dust had settled on top of the cases during the night, and Thomas cleaned them off before moving on to his next task; reviewing the ledger to make sure all watches scheduled for pick up that day were ready for their owners. There had only been two occasions when a customer's watch wasn't ready, but to Thomas that was two too many. After reviewing the ledger for the day, he reviewed watches due the following day and then set his priorities for his shift.

Sometimes he berated himself for the time he spent in service doing the bare minimum, but reminded himself that he couldn't change the past, and changed his focus back to the work at hand.

A knock on the door summoned Thomas from behind the desk, the bells jingling lightly from the rapping. A man Thomas didn't recognize gave him an apologetic smile through the glass as he waited for Thomas to unlock the door.

"So sorry, so sorry, I know you're not open," the man said, lacing his gloved fingers together in a begging motion, "but I forgot it's my anniversary, and I'll have no time to shop between work and home tonight."

Thomas licked his lips to avoid smiling and then motioned for the man to come in. "No apologies necessary, Mr….?"

"Mr. Manning, thank you. And yourself? I know you're not one of the Prices."

Well, Thomas thought, we did exchange rings once. Maybe I am a bit of a Price. "I'm Thomas Barrow. Do you know the Price family?"

"Yes," Mr. Manning said, removing his hat, "I was friends with the boys' father. That's why I thought I could sneak in here early," he added with a shy smile.

Thomas took Mr. Manning's hat and gestured to the display cases. "Any friend of the Prices' is a friend of mine. What did you have in mind for Mrs. Manning?"

Mr. Manning put his hands on his hips and shrugged. "Suppose I should have thought of that on the walk over, eh?"

"Does she already have a wrist watch?"

Mr. Manning looked down at his feet. "Suppose I should have checked that, too."

Thomas smiled sympathetically and walked behind the cases, leading Mr. Manning to some delicate wrist watches that he made just the week before. "Even if she has one, it's probably not one like these. The style is a little different than what's usually on the market in ladies watches, probably different than anything her friends have, too."

Mr. Manning raised his eyebrows. "She does like to have the newest things when it comes to fashion."

"Then this may be easier than you anticipated," Thomas said, removing three watches from the case one by one, laying them out on a piece of emerald green velvet cloth for Mr. Manning to examine.

"Maybe this one," Mr. Manning said, holding the watch carefully across his palm. "Hmm," he continued, replacing it, picking up another, "but this one looks more expensive."

"They're all the same price."

"I'm sure," Mr. Manning chuckled, "but this one looks more expensive."

Thomas chuckled as well. "Perhaps that's the one?"

Mr. Manning looked at the small price tag tied to the watchband and raised his eyebrows again. Thomas was about to offer a discount for being a friend of the family, but before he could speak, Mr. Manning said, "that's awfully low for such a nice piece."

Thomas looked down and laughed bashfully. "I'm still getting the hang of this pricing thing."

"New to the business?"

"Quite," Thomas said, accepting the watch back from Mr. Manning. "It will take me just a moment to package this up for you. Would you like some tea while you wait?"

"No, no thank you," Mr. Manning replied, "I'll look around a bit. Maybe get a head start on the next birthday or holiday that I'm bound to forget."

Thomas nodded and took the watch to the back room. He cleaned it meticulously, set it carefully in a black velvet box, and tied a white satin ribbon around it. "Does this look alright?" he asked Mr. Manning as he emerged from the back room.

Mr. Manning put his hands to his chest in awe. "You, my friend, are a lifesaver. It's absolutely perfect."

Thomas nodded and put the box in a bag. He handed the bag to Mr. Manning as Mr. Manning handed Thomas several bills.

"Good day to you," Mr. Manning said as he retrieved his hat. "I'm sure I'll be back soon enough."

"Just one quick moment while I get your change, sir," Thomas said as the register drawer opened, the change rattling inside.

Mr. Manning tipped his hat to Thomas. "No change necessary. I paid what it's worth. Don't underestimate your value!"

Before Thomas could argue, Mr. Manning was tipping his hat again from the other side of the window, and was then out of sight.

Thomas counted the bills, shaking his head in disbelief. He looked up as the door opened.

Sam gave Thomas a quizzical look as he turned the sign on the door from "CLOSED" to "OPEN".

"Something wrong with the money? I probably counted it wrong last night."

Thomas shook his head. "No. Well, yes. But we already had a customer today. A Mr. Manning, said he was friends your father."

Sam hung his coat and hat by Thomas's. "That's generous. My father did odd jobs for Mr. Manning when income was low. We didn't want to be charity cases, and Mr. Manning found a way for us not to feel like we were. He was here awfully early, wasn't he?"

"Yes. He was in a rush. I thought that's why he hurried out the door without his change, but he said he was paying the value of the watch. Sam, look," Thomas said, pushing the money into Sam's hand. "It's three times the price tag."

Sam smiled at the money, remembering how many times Mr. Manning overpaid his father in the past. "Which watch?"

"The newer ladies watch with the thin band."

Sam looked at the empty space in the case. "Ah, one of yours. The change is yours, then."

"Oh, no. No, no. It belongs to the shop, I was just about to put it in the safe."

Sam tapped the bills on the counter until they were in a neat pile, then handed them back to Thomas. "It's a tip. Think of it that way."

"The shop could use the money."

"And I bet you could, too."

Thomas attempted to hand the bills back to Sam, but Sam put up his hands.

"Mr. Manning has done many things for my family over the years. I consider this paying it forward in the only way I can, since I don't have those kinds of resources at hand. Take it, please. You're certainly worth that and more."

After resigning himself to accepting the bonus, Thomas put it in an envelope with his name on it, then placed it in the safe until the next time he would be able to go to the bank. He let himself take a private moment to smile and enjoy the excitement of the boon, then cleared his throat and joined Sam back out in the shop.

He planned to put the money away, but would allow himself to keep a little extra in his wallet. He wasn't going to spend it, just keep it there as a reminder, as Mr. Manninig said, not to sell himself short.

Thomas and Kait's friendship truly blossomed since Thomas moved to London, and they made time to see one another at least once a week. It reminded him of having Miss O'Brien by his side on her best days, when she was a true confidant and friend. Kait was bold and brazen, and she enjoyed a bit of drama and scandal, but from a distance, and not amongst friends. The bitter and abrupt end to his relationship with Miss O'Brien felt like an unmourned loss. And there was something about having a friendship without the slightest question of a potential romance that he truly missed. No ulterior motives on either part. Just pure and honest friendship.

The two had shopped for food and drink that morning, prepared and packed a picnic lunch in Kait's kitchen, and then spent the next hour enjoying the cool air and sunny skies while they rode their bicycles. Kait located a nice spot for a picnic and waved from her bicycle for Thomas to stop. He unbuckled the basket from the back of his bike while Kait unstrapped the blanket from the back of hers. Thomas was warm in his wool jacket and draped it on his bike, rolling up his sleeves as he took a seat on the blanket next to Kait.

Kait took two glasses and a bottle of wine from the basket, then let Thomas open the wine and pour. "To us," Kait said, extending her glass for a toast. She was dressed in light green to compliment her recently dyed strawberry blonde hair, the fourth color she had dyed it in as many months.

"To us, two of my very favorite people," Thomas said, clinking glasses as they chuckled.

Kait sipped her wine and then retrieved sandwiches from the basket. "Are you not your very favorite person?"

Thomas chuckled again. "That would be a bit pompous."

"Not at all," Kait said, shaking her head as she handed Thomas his sandwich. "You should always be your favorite person. You should always come first in your life."

Thomas shook his head and waited to finish chewing before he spoke. "I spent a long time feeling that way and it didn't serve me well."

"Oh my sweet friend, liking yourself is not the same thing as simply disliking everyone else."

Thomas tapped her foot with his. "I don't dislike everyone."

"I didn't mean now, I meant before."

"Well that was when everyone disliked me, even myself, so you're still wrong."

Kait laughed behind her napkin. "You're so silly!"

"You're talking with your mouth full."

"I covered it with a napkin."

"I can still hear you masticating."

Kait laid back on the blanket and giggled. "You're so pretentious."

Thomas put his sandwich on the basket and laid on his stomach next to Kait. "You don't really think that, do you?" he said with an exaggerated pout.

Kait rolled onto her side and propped her head up with her hand. "I do," she said, pinching Thomas's bottom lip between her thumb and forefinger, "but I love that about you."

Thomas snapped his teeth and Kait retracted her fingers quickly. They both laughed and rolled onto their backs. Thomas laced his fingers across his chest and studied the clouds. Kait rested her hands behind her head and did the same.

"I want to start wearing trousers when I bicycle," Kait told Thomas. "It's so awkward to ride in a skirt."

"I can imagine. Wear trousers next time."

"Well, if I want someone to throw rocks, I will."

Thomas rolled his head toward Kait. "Does it really matter if other people care?"

Kait considered the question, then met Thomas's eyes. "Yes. Isn't that odd? For me to care, I mean."

"No, not really. No one wants to be the target of negative attention."

"I don't usually care about those things."

"Well, maybe you're changing in your old age."

Kait poked her fingers into Thomas's side until he curled up and wiggled away.

"Kidding!," Thomas said while sitting up. "I'm much older than you."

"Yes, much older," Kait agreed as she sat up and adjusted her skirt. "I'll just wear the trousers on our next ride, stones be damned. You can shield me, my strong and strapping defender," she said with exaggerated softness, throwing her arms around Thomas's neck for emphasis.

"Have some decency!" a woman shouted at Kait and Thomas from the path as she sped by on her bicycle.

The two friends froze, then began laughing louder than they had all day. Thomas pulled Kait into a hug.

"If only she knew how indecent I could get," Kait said into Thomas's chest.

Thomas patted Kait's back. "I hope her skirt gets caught in her chain," he whispered into Kait's ear.

Kait pulled away from Thomas's torso and held his face in her hands. "This is why I love you."

Another person riding by gave Thomas and Kait a disapproving look.

"It's not like we're fornicating!" Kait yelled in response.

"And you're worried about someone's impression of you based on trousers. Really, Kait."

"Stay there," Kait said. She pulled her camera from the picnic basket and snapped two photographs of Thomas.

Thomas retrieved his wine and sandwich. "Those pictures will remind me of the time you yelled 'fornicate' at a stranger."

"Fornicate!" Kait shouted at the next person who rode by.

Thomas handed Kait her wine. "Please, put this in your mouth and stop instigating."

Kait drank the rest of her wine quickly and returned the glass to the basket. She retrieved a gold-toned tube of crimson lipstick from the basket and applied it carefully, slowly gliding it across her bottom lip, then the top, then running the very tip of the lipstick over the corners of her mouth. She rubbed her lips together at the end and looked up at Thomas, who had been watching the whole ritual. "Does it look alright?"

"Took you twenty minutes to paint it on, I'd hope it looks alright."

Kait rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue. "Fine, any on my teeth?" she asked, baring her teeth in an exaggerated smile.

"No," Thomas laughed, "it's not on your skin or your teeth or anywhere else, you're fine."

Her teeth still bared, Kait growled and crawled closer to Thomas.

"What're you doing?" Thomas asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"The napkins are all used and I need to get the extra lipstick off."

"What?"

Kait pounced and kissed Thomas's cheek over and over until he was finally able to break free.

Thomas put his hands in front of his face and whined. "Now it's all over me!"

Kait began cleaning up their picnic site. "Just your face. You're fine."

Thomas shook out the least dirty napkin and grimaced while he wiped his cheek. "It's so red, it looks like I'm cleaning up the scene of a crime."

"Men tell the tale of the murderous kisser, a woman who kills them with embarrassment in the form of lipstick stains on their cheeks and necks."

"There isn't any on my neck," Thomas said, cutting off the last word as Kait lunged for him again. "No!" he laughed, "I already have to ride back with a red cheek."

"What will people think?!"

"That you're a mischievous little minx," Thomas said with a playful grin.

Kait shrugged and resumed cleaning. "They wouldn't be wrong."

After the two finished packing away their picnic, Thomas helped Kait back onto her bicycle. He sighed as she quickly kissed his clean cheek, then hopped on his bicycle and waited for Kait to take the lead.

Thomas stayed long enough at Kait's flat to help her pick up her small kitchen from their work earlier in the day, and politely declined her invitation to join her and her friends for drinks and dancing after dark. He had to be at work early the next day, like always, and reminded her that she was always welcome to pop in to say hello. "But not to stain me with your lip paint," he added.

Thomas walked his bicycle home, always too nervous about cars and trams to drive in the city. He smiled and shook his head thinking about Kait, her love for life, and her love for him. It was certainly mutual, and as he walked home he wondered if perhaps it might be more fun to have a roommate. He never had the chance to live alone before, but now he had and it might be time for something new. Kait's apartment wasn't that much better than his, but if they combined their resources, they could live somewhere twice as nice. He played out the idea for the rest of the walk home, during his supper, and as he prepared for bed. He often wanted to be alone until he was, and then it wasn't as enjoyable as he anticipated. He lit his last cigarette of the day decided when he saw Kait next, he would suggest that they find a place together.

Whenever David felt particularly homesick, he took off his necklace, put the ring it held on his pinkie, and ran the flat gold chain through his fingers. The sensation soothed him, but the connection it represented was what calmed him the most. He held the chain to his lips and closed his eyes, his mind wandering to thoughts of what Thomas might be doing at that moment. Working? Cooking? Reading? Smoking - probably smoking, he thought with a smile. When the constriction in his chest finally released, he slipped the ring back on his necklace, the necklace back on his neck, and left his tent to join the others for supper.

Earlier that day, David visited a village nearly demolished by a storm the week before. He was tasked with capturing the scene, which felt especially voyueristic as villagers sorted through piles of wood and rubble to find their belongings. And, David learned a bit later, from an interpreter, some villagers were still searching for loved ones among the massive piles that were once homes, farms, and marketplaces.

David hadn't seen a place so devastated since the war. He wrapped his sketches up as quickly as he could, as there was no question in his mind that he would be able to recall the scene later and fill in the rest. He packed up his supplies and wandered the area to see if he could be of any help. An older woman slowly removed planks of wood from an area not much bigger than his tent back at camp, but the effort seemed to overwhelm her. David approached her slowly, and waved with a small smile when she looked up. He offered his canteen to her, and after a moment of contemplation, she took a few sips. She thanked him, and he was able to reply with a heavily-accented 'you're welcome'. She smiled with the beginning of a laugh, but then looked back at the task still left in front of her. As she reached for the next piece of wood, David put his hand on hers, then took over, removing the piece easily and placing it with the others she had laid out beside the pile.

As David's pace picked up, the woman stopped him, saying something he couldn't understand. He scanned the area to see if he could find the interpreter, but with no one from his party even in sight, he gave an apologetic shrug and put down the wood he held. The woman considered how to communicate what she was trying to say, and it came to her. She met David's eyes, pointed to the pile, and then made a few quick barking sounds. She mimicked the act of bending down to pet a dog, and then looked back up to David. Her eyes watered, and David dropped to his knee beside her. She shook her head, admitting defeat as she looked at the pile before her, unidentifiable as any kind of previous structure.

An idea came to David, and he slipped off his rucksack to retrieve a sketchbook and pencil. The woman looked on with a curious eye as David flipped to a clean white sheet, and then loosely sketched the figure of a dog. He held his hand low to the ground, then high, and the woman took his hand and placed it at the height of her dog. David nodded, then held his finger to his nose, asking whether the dog had a short or long snout. The woman put her finger to her nose, and David moved on to the tail. The woman laughed as David held his hand out to indicate a long tail, and then he laughed as well, realizing how silly he looked. She patted his shoulder, then held her fingers close together to show a short tail.

The two went on like that, finding ways to describe the woman's missing dog, and David began sketching. He came up with the figure of a small, shaggy terrier, and when he made his last pencil stroke, the woman let out a sob. He tore the piece of paper from his book, then mimed the act of asking people if they had seen the dog. The woman smiled again and hugged her hands to her chest, and as David reached out to hand her the paper, she hugged him, too. He returned his sketchbook to his rucksack and then swung the bag onto his back. He heard his name being called in the distance, and the woman repeated the name, then told him hers. She gave him another hug, and then he followed the sound of his name.

Back at camp that night, the men discussed the day soberly over their supper. David kept his experience with the woman to himself, concerned the writer would ask him to find her again to tell her story. He didn't want her tragedy poured out to the pity of a Western audience. No one wants to be pitied, David thought, and the woman surely deserved her privacy to search for, and perhaps eventually grieve, her beloved pet.

In his sleeping bag that evening, as bugs buzzed and birds called out in the night, David felt a sense of guilt gnawing at his soul. He often felt his drawings participated in exploiting the people and places he documented, but his experience in that village pushed him to the brink. Yes, he was creating art for a living, which he never would have expected only a short while ago. Yes, he was lucky to have this opportunity. And yes, he felt obligated to those who had launched his career, namely Lady Edith and Eric, to continue on this journey. But maybe this was just part of his journey, he reflected, and it was time to use the portfolio he had built over that year to find work back in England. He decided he would let this trip be his last, and then finance his way back East.

Thomas loved any excuse to shop for his groceries in an open air market. He would get there early on his day off, sometimes when the sun was just peeking over the roofs of buildings. The streets were nearly silent at that hour, the closest he could get to the quiet, reflective walks he took at Downton when he needed to clear his mind. He filled his bags with the best, freshest versions of every item on his list, and inevitably a few (usually sweet) items he hadn't planned to purchase.

That particular day, there was a bounty of produce at the market, and Thomas was able to immerse himself in the experience as he sought the highest quality examples of every item he needed. There were so many things to see and he felt lighter and lighter the longer he shopped. Ideas for recipes swirled in his head as he zig-zagged vendor to vendor.

"My, that's a full basket," a familiar voice chuckled behind Thomas's shoulder.

"Lady Edith," Thomas said, greeting his former employer with a tip of his hat. "I must admit, I'm surprised to see you here. I suppose I assumed Lily did your shopping."

Lady Edith picked up an onion and examined its skin. "Oh, she's here as well," she said, replacing the onion and picking up another. "She's helping Marigold select something to eat with this afternoon's tea."

Thomas handed Lady Edith one of his onions. "This is better than any of those," he said as if he were divulging a secret.

"I couldn't possibly accept this," Lady Edith smiled.

"Please, m'Lady. I insist."

Marigold ran up and wrapped her arms around her mother's hips. "Come see the treats with me," she said into Lady Edith's side as she hugged her.

Lily greeted Thomas, then gave an apologetic shrug. "She wants you today. I tried to give you more time."

"That's no problem at all, I would love to see the treats," Lady Edith said, handing her basket to Lily. "It was lovely to see you, Thomas. Enjoy the rest of your shopping."

"I will, thank you, m'Lady," Thomas said with another tip of his hat. He smiled at Lily once Lady Edith was out of view. "Which task is preferable; watching the child or buying the groceries?"

Lily looked upwards while she considered the answer. "Today, I'd saying buying the groceries, if you'll accompany me for a bit."

Thomas gestured towards the center aisle between the rows of vendors. "Of course, lead the way."

Lily and Thomas chatted while they shopped, mostly about gossip they heard about Downton or gossip they heard around London.

In the middle of their benign chit-chat, Lily stood a little closer to Thomas, and he assumed she may have a more juicy piece of gossip to share. He held the cigarette he smoked to the side to spare her the smoke.

"I just wanted to say," she began quietly, so quietly that Thomas had to lean even closer, "that I'm very sorry about David."

Thomas leaned closer still. "Sorry about what?" Thomas knew David had spilled the beans to Lily about their romance, and Lily had acknowledged it in passing before, but he had no idea what she meant.

Lily gave Thomas a look that said 'oh come on, you know'. "Sorry about, you know, you and him."

"I'm not sure what you mean, Lily."

Lily chuckled. "You're going to make me say it?"

"Say what? Him being gone so long? I'm not excited about it, but he'll be back."

Lily's face fell slowly, her smile dipping towards a frown. "I must have misunderstood, forget it," she said, resuming her shopping.

"Oh, no no no," Thomas said, stepping between Lily and a table containing crates of vegetables. "What did you hear?"

Lily's nostrils flared, frustrated with herself rather than Thomas. "I must have misheard or something."

"Lily!" Thomas all but hissed, smiling coldly at the vendor until the vendor looked away. "Tell me. Did Lady Edith say something?"

"Not about you," Lily said, keeping her voice steady to try and defuse the situation. "About him."

"What was it? What did she say?"

Lily groaned and her shoulders slumped. "She said she heard he's in love, and that's why he travels without stopping."

Thomas swallowed, nauseated by Lily's words. He realized he wasn't breathing and took a few shallow breaths.

"I'm so sorry," Lily whispered, reaching out to pat Thomas's shoulder, retracting her hand quickly when he looked like he might bite her if she tried.

Thomas smiled the cold smile he had given the vendor. "How could you know I didn't know, eh? I'm not upset with you one bit," he said, pulling his jacket straight. "Not at all," he said with a bigger yet even more empty smile.

"Maybe I misunderstood."

"Doubtful."

"Maybe Lady Edith misunderstood."

"More doubtful."

Lily looked around helplessly. "I'll pry a little more. I very well might have heard things wrong, or she heard things wrong, or something. If you haven't heard anything then there was probably nothing to hear. I'm sure of it. I'll find out but I'm sure of it," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder this time.

Thomas patted her hand. "Thank you, but don't bother." He handed his basket to Lily. "Have this, I don't think I'll be hungry for a while."

Lily handed back the basket. "Maybe he was talking about you!"

"How does that make any sense?" Thomas asked, stamping out his cigarette. "Why would staying gone mean he was in love with someone back here?"

Lily shrugged. "Anything's possible. Thomas, I'm so, so sorry. I promise I'll figure this out."

"Nothing to figure. Forget it," Thomas said, laying the basket down hard on the closest table.

"Thomas!" Lily called as he walked away swiftly. "Thomas!" she shouted again, but he didn't turn to look.

Thomas all but ran home, keeping a quick pace so that his heart would be too busy pumping blood rather than breaking. He couldn't come up with a reason why being in love with him would keep David on the move. Every doubt, every bit of negativity he'd pushed down came boiling to the surface, and as soon as he was in his flat, he stopped holding back his sobs. His heartbeat continued to climb as he paced the floor, letting his darkest thoughts and fears leak from the recesses of his mind like vicious poison. The feeling he denied the most, anger, took it's old, familiar hold over him. He didn't have the ability to stop it even if he had tried; it washed over him, a lump forming in his throat as goosebumps pricked up across his skin. He had felt abandonment many times in his life, but this time hurt the most.

A little voice in his head fought through the anger long enough to make him stop pacing and consider that the rumor was false and David had been true the entire time. "Then why hasn't he come home?!" Thomas yelled out loud, but the voice was drowned out, only the poisonous ones answering all at once, "because he doesn't love you."


	2. Chapter 2

The last thing Thomas felt like doing was interacting with other people, but he had promised to take Sam and Marie's children to see a film that afternoon. Thomas found after days on end looking at tiny watch mechanisms through a magnifying lens, watching a large screen from a distance helped with his eye strain. Thomas met Marie and the children outside the theatre, Marie armed with a list of errands to run while the children were under Thomas's care. The two older children held Thomas's hands after he gently patted the head of the napping toddler in the stroller. Marie thanked Thomas in advance, even though spending time with the little ones was always just as helpful to his spirits as it was to Marie's schedule.

Thomas bought popcorn and pop, but purchased none for himself as his appetite had completely vanished since that morning. While the children stared wide-eyed at the oversized posters lining the lobby, deciding which films they wanted to see next, Thomas found himself becoming angry that David could have put his relationships with all of the Prices at risk. His work and personal life were both completely intertwined with them. There was so much more at stake than his love life.

He wanted desperately to believe there was some misunderstanding, that David stayed completely committed to him the entire time. However, the more Thomas let his mind wander, the more convinced he became that the rumor was true. He was startled when he felt a little tug on his jacket sleeve, completely oblivious to the flashing light indicating that the show was about to start.

"Time for the picture, Mr. Barrow," David's niece told him.

"Did you forget food for yourself?" David's nephew asked.

Thomas let them walk ahead as the crowd made its way into the dark theatre. "No, I ate before I came," he lied.

"Well, if you get hungry, you can share some of mine."

Thomas smiled and followed the children down an aisle until they found seats that suited them. Thomas sat down, and the children arranged themselves to be on either side of him. He put his hat in his lap and sank down in his seat to avoid blocking someone else's view. He had the thought before, more than once, that he was so lucky to have a surrogate family. While he had rekindled his relationship with his sister and her family, the boys were all grown now. The Prices were a growing family, and he was part of their everyday life. They cared for him as much as he did for them. He was valued, appreciated, even loved. Romantic love was extremely important to him, but so were the familial bonds he felt growing since he first met the Prices. As the lights went even lower and the screen began to glow, Thomas committed to himself that he would keep those bonds regardless of whatever may happen between him and David.

A bit of the children's joy rubbed off on Thomas, and as the film progressed he felt lost in the story. He even accepted a handful of popcorn and a sip of pop. But when the lights came back up, he fell squarely back in reality. He wondered if he could find a reason to stay with Marie and the children, maybe even get an invitation to dinner, but Marie would probably notice something was wrong, and he was in no mood to answer any questions.

After he said his goodbyes to Marie and the children, he went to Kait's flat, but no one answered the buzzer. He didn't want to watch Eric and Teddy canoodle, and he hadn't made any other good friends since moving to London, so he decided to go to a pub and have a drink, where he could be surrounded by people but still stay to himself.

He put his hat on the bar and lit a cigarette while he waited for attention from the bartender, a man who looked to be in his mid 60s, with bright eyes, sparse hair, and a broom-like gray mustache. Thomas ordered a pint, and when the bartender delivered it, he leaned on the bar and waited for Thomas to look up from the glass.

"You look down, chum."

Thomas took a drag and sighed as he exhaled. "Doesn't everyone who patronizes a pub in the middle of the afternoon look down?"

"You're chuffy, too," the bartender said with a smile. "Listen, lad. You could've gone n' drank by your lonesome, but you didn't. You came to a pub. Didn't even grab a table, you sat at the bar. You can't blame me for thinkin' you're lookin' for conversation."

Thomas took a drag again, then a sip of his beer. "You're probably right."

"Darn right I'm right."

"Now, tell me, are you hoping I'll pour my heart out so that I keep drinking and drive up my tab?"

The bartender laughed and slid an ashtray to Thomas. "You got me. That's my scheme."

Thomas gulped down half his drink. "Well, why don't you pour me a second one now that I'm onto your ruse."

"Tell me a little of your story first."

Thomas licked foam from his lips and ran his thumb over the rim of the glass. "Not much of a story, really. I think - I believe, or, I was told the love of my life might have fallen in love with someone else."

The bartender cringed and poured Thomas a second mug of beer. "Was this information from a reputable source?"

"Yes, but I can't speak to whoever they heard it from. Could just be worthless gossip."

"And what does the love of your life say about it?"

Thomas handed his empty glass to the bartender and started on his second. "Doesn't know I know."

"Maybe she doesn't know either, because it's, as you said, worthless gossip."

"Maybe," Thomas said, holding out his cigarette case to the bartender. "Would you like one?"

The bartender looked around at the virtually empty bar. "Sure, why not," he said, lighting it with a match. "When are you gonna ask the accused for her story?"

"I can't, there's a couple continents between us at the moment."

The bartender nodded. "Well, then. Is that why you're so worried? All that distance?"

"Yes, that. Maybe some other things too, I don't know."

"You want something to eat?"

Thomas wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "I'm not very hungry, thank you. So, barkeep, do you have any sage advice or wisdom you could bestow upon me? That's the role of a bartender, isn't it?"

The bartender laughed and tapped his cigarette on the edge of the ashtray. He waved his hand as the front door opened, a blast of light from outside piercing the darkness of the pub briefly until the door mercifully closed. "The usual?" he called to the patron.

"The usual," a voice replied.

After mixing and serving the drink, the bartender returned to Thomas. "My sage advice is not to believe everything you hear. Talk to your girl when you can, but until then, put it out of your mind."

Thomas finished the rest of his drink and put out his cigarette. "My mind doesn't put things to rest easily. If anything it just keeps fanning the flames."

The bartender put out his cigarette as well, streams of smoke floating up from the ashtray, swimming in the air between the two men. "Then find a way to quiet it, at least for today until you can get some sleep."

Thomas rose slowly from his stool and nodded. He took out his wallet and placed a bill on the counter. "Does this cover my drinks?"

"It does and more, I'll get you your change."

"No, I don't need the change. The rest is yours for listening to me carry on."

The bartender took the bills and put them in the register. "You didn't carry on, son. Now go on and do something more useful with your time than holding up my bar."

"Alright, alright," Thomas said, placing his hat back on his head. "Can't promise it'll make me think any straighter."

"In that case, go eat something. It'll at least make you walk a little straighter."

Thomas meandered home, stopping to look in shop windows and to take a diversion through a park. Once home, he flopped onto his bed, only to rise ten minutes later when he felt venom course through his veins again. He tossed a pack of cards onto his kitchen table and swung a leg over a chair, sitting on it with a thud. Cards proved no more distracting than laying silently in bed. Worse, perhaps, as he remembered the time his hands found their way into David's pajamas, the two of them disturbing a game of solitaire previously laid out on David's small servant's bed.

He grunted and swiped his forearm across the table, forcing the cards into the air briefly before they scattered all over the floor. He looked at the mess and felt momentarily better. He remembered how cathartic it used to be for him to see his emotions taken out in a substantive form, whether that be fisticuffs with another man, meddling to cause commotion, or even the destruction of physical objects, like the card game now spread out on his floor.

Maybe I just need to do something physical, he thought. He could take the trolley to the seaside, put his feet in the cold ocean, send some of his pent up pain out into the water to be washed away by the waves. Stepping over the cards, leaving them for his calm self to pick up later, Thomas headed to the trolley.

A crowd gathered on the boardwalk where salt air rolled off the ocean, and then Thomas caught side of a red and white striped tent. Often meant to feel like a sideshow himself, he always hated the circus. He kept his head down as he made his way through the crowd, determined not to go straight home since he had already gone all the way there. He hadn't paid attention to the innumerable posters around the city announcing the date and time of the circus. Now he was stuck in the growing crowd as calliope music began to find his ears and the smell of sidewalk treats made his mouth water. He was finally hungry, at least, and decided he should get a bite from one of the vendors.

Thomas watched the crowd from beneath his hat brim while eating some warm candied nuts he purchased from the closest merchant. The coral cast of the setting sun made the colorful scene on the boardwalk more dream-like. The tide came closer, the waves grew louder, but they didn't drown out the blessed calliope. Who had the bright idea of playing those contraptions in public, he wondered. He was about to put his empty cup in the closest bin when a poster in the distance caught his eye. "Strong-man" was written in ornamental font at the top, the figure of a strapping and barely-dressed man illustrated below. Thomas's feet seemed to move him in the direction of the circus tent.

With the main event over an hour away, barkers dotted the perimeter of the tent, encouraging ticket sales with the promise of mystery, majesty, and merriment. Luckily for Thomas, the main attraction as far as he was concerned was performing feats of strength on a small stage by one of the barkers.

Thomas found himself watching in wide-eyed wonder, not at the machismo that drew other men nearer, but at the feast for his eyes on full display. The man on the poster wore a bodysuit that covered his torso, while the man in front of him wore only a simple pair of tight, short red bottoms held in place by a thin yellow belt. Curse that belt, Thomas thought. The strongman grunted and groaned to emphasize the efforts of his exertions, and Thomas found himself holding his breath in response. The man's skin was the color of a bronze statue; his build just as burly, his muscles just as defined as if carved by an artist's hand. Thomas's eyes finally made their way to the man's face, and it was as delightful as his body. Light brown eyes, a mop of curly brown hair, and a well-defined jaw that clenched with his efforts.

Thomas's shoulders finally relaxed for the first time that day, and the fury inside him simmered a bit. He realized he was gawking at the man. The man who, Thomas noticed, was meeting his gaze.

The performance ended and the strongman stretched as he spoke a few words to the barker. The gathered crowd began to disperse, save for Thomas who wanted a second free show. He stayed as a new group of onlookers filled in around him. The barker recited the same words, the strongman went through the same motions, but this time he kept his eyes on Thomas. The man grinned, and Thomas realized he was smiling in return. Damn that calliope music, Thomas thought, for sullying what was otherwise a delicious flirtation.

At the end of the second set, the barker hopped off the platform and headed into the tent. The strongman met Thomas's eyes and gave just a single, small tip of his head to the space behind the platform, then hopped down himself. Thomas sucked in a sharp breath of candy-scented air and followed the man's direction. The scene around him was loud enough to cover any conversation, but the strongman leaned into Thomas's ear.

"Would you meet me right here in half an hour?" the man asked in a thick accent, though Thomas couldn't tell the country of origin.

"Yes," Thomas's lips said before his brain could catch up.

The man's eyes twinkled. "Don't be late. I go on stage in one hour. Doesn't leave us much time."

Thomas's stomach turned itself inside out. "Wh-what about after you perform, then?"

The man chuckled and shook his head. "That's when I start packing. Half an hour," he repeated, even closer to Thomas's ear this time.

Thomas looked at the ground and nodded.

The man went the way of the barker. Everything else felt far away while he was inches from the strongman, and it all seemed to crash in on him at once. The sights, sounds, shoulders of people edging towards the tent. He looked at his watch to check the time, "don't be late" echoing in his ears. He took a deep sigh after looking into the familiar watch face. He wanted to rip the watch off and throw it into the ocean. It was usually a comforting reminder of David, but instead it brought back his bitterness.

He walked around the exterior of the massive tent, hoping his thoughts would sort themselves out over the next thirty minutes. Thomas looked at the watch again. Over the next twenty-seven minutes now, he corrected himself. Was David really having a rendezvous of his own? Not just a rendezvous, Thomas thought. Lily said David was in love. Love, Thomas repeated in his mind, his heart pounding again.

Twenty-two minutes now and Thomas's stomach had yet to stop its acrobatics. He groped for his cigarettes, clenched one between his teeth, and flicked his lighter with force. The end of his cigarette lit like the fire inside him, burning for something to distract him - anything - but wondering if he could enjoy any of it over fire David ignited.

Well, Thomas thought, I might as well try.

With fifteen minutes to go, Thomas retraced his steps, nearing the platform with seven minutes remaining. His throat grew increasingly dry, so with his last few minutes he purchased a pint from a cart lit up like the circus itself. He sucked it down between drags of his cigarette, and he could see from the short distance that the strongman was already waiting exactly where he said he would be.

The lack of much food besides the small snack helped the beer bring on a warm buzz quickly. Enough to make him straighten his sleeves, hat brim, and spine, and make the twenty yard voyage to the strongman.

There was no greeting or pleasantries exchanged. The strongman put a ticket in Thomas's hand and nodded to the tent. Thomas took the direction and stood in a short line for his turn to enter. The man had walked past the line and was waiting for Thomas by a tent pole the width of a tree. From there, he led Thomas to bleachers full of eager spectators. Rather than guiding Thomas up to a seat, however, the man entered a space between two sets of bleachers just wide enough for his body. Thomas followed, hoping eyes were on the foolish clowns in the center of the ring and not on the two men slipping into the darkness.

The air was thick with the commotion of the crowd, the cursed calliope, and the magnetism between the two men. Thomas could barely see the hulking body inches from his own. Light cut here and there between the rows of benches and legs they hid beneath, but no matter where the light came from, he could see the eager eyes of his co-conspirator.

"What's your name?" Thomas whispered.

"We don't need names," the man replied, mischief flashing in his eyes. Wasting no time, he tossed Thomas's hat on the ground, put one broad hand on Thomas's lower back, and pulled him close. With the other hand, he tipped Thomas's chin up to his, and then kissed his lips softly, slowly, and more delicately than Thomas predicted. Though despite the gentle kiss, the man's tight, thin shorts gave away his desire for something more.

Thomas was taken aback by the swiftness of the man's intimacy, but then again, he thought, what else did I expect. Now David and I both have done something disloyal. He relaxed and leaned into the man's embrace.

"So you're a gentle giant," Thomas whispered while the man kissed his neck as softly as he'd kissed his lips. "Here I thought you'd handle me like you handled those barbells."

The man kissed his way back to Thomas's lips. "Is that what you want?" he whispered after kissing the tip of Thomas's nose.

"Not necessarily," Thomas replied, running his fingers down the man's spine, "but I'd like to draw out some of those sounds you made on stage."

Though there was only a little light in their hideaway, it became darker still as the show began. A hush fell over the crowd. The man pushed his hips into Thomas and put his lips to Thomas's ear. "It will get louder again, I promise."

Thomas whispered back, "have you ever been caught?"

"Not yet," the man replied. "You don't want to get caught, do you?"

Thomas chuckled. "No. No, thank you."

"Good, because I'd like to keep my streak going."

As Thomas brought his palms to man's face, his watch peeked at him from under his shirt cuff, reflecting his eyes in its glass, ticking with the rhythm of his pounding heart. He squeezed his eyes shut, but the thoughts of David stayed. David always sounded happy in his letters, but never neglected to mention how deeply he missed Thomas. Their connection always seemed to surpass distance, circumstance, and time. But maybe David was lying. Maybe he was waiting to tell Thomas of his affair to his face. Or, maybe none of it was true. Thomas gritted his teeth and tried to ignore his worst fears. Perhaps he tried too hard, because anger at David was replaced by lust for him, and all he wanted to do was forget everything Lily said, magically transport David to London, and ravage him under the bleachers instead of his stranger.

Since the thoughts refused to move aside and allow him to enjoy the moment, he kept his eyes closed and imagined David in his arms. He conjured up the impish smile and hungry eyes David gave when he wanted Thomas, his lean but athletic body, his agile fingers and eager lips. He heard David's moans in his ear, almost a purr when he was truly intoxicated by Thomas. It was David on him now. His lips, his tongue, his throat. Thomas was fully immersed in his fantasy, and as the man reached for the buttons of Thomas's trousers, he awoke from the dream.

"I'm sorry," Thomas said as the crowd grew louder again. "I-I can't do this."

The man held Thomas's jaw in his hand and ran a thumb across his cheek. "You're very handsome."

Thomas laughed genuinely and then bit his lip, remembering they were surrounded by the crowd. "So are you, but I think you already know that."

The man leaned in again for another kiss, and Thomas backed away. "Really. I can't. There's someone who will be very hurt when he finds out I even kissed you."

"So don't tell him," the man said with a shrug.

Thomas shook his head. "I'm truly sorry."

The strongman sighed and stretched. "Alright, as you wish," he relented, adjusting his shorts to accommodate himself. He took another look at Thomas, top to bottom and back up, and sighed again. "He's a lucky man."

Thomas gave a tight smile in response, feeling a bit guilty for leaving the man longing.

Thomas retrieved his hat from the ground and shook it out, wiping the brim briskly before putting it back on his head. He waited for the lights to dim again, and then made his exit, heading straight off to catch a trolley home.

Of course a letter arrived from him today, Thomas thought while leafing through the day's mail. He had ignored the mail, and most everything else, when he returned home. Before opening it, he headed to the shower, anxious to wash the physical evidence of his tryst down the drain. Warm water didn't exist in the pipes of his building, but the cold shower felt refreshing after the hot encounter. It was as close as he could get to cold ocean water, anyhow.

Robe wrapped tightly at his waist, he rubbed his hair with a towel while turning the envelope over, again and again. Rip it up? No, his curiosity wouldn't allow that.

Open it today, or tomorrow?

Today or tomorrow?

Today or tomorrow?

He sighed and fell into a chair at his kitchen table, the cards still laying at his feet. He put his towel over his shoulder and decided "today".

_My Thomas,_

_Today I rode a motorcycle for the first time. Well, I've ridden on the back many times, but I rode alone. It was like riding fifty horses at once. I felt so much power and control and freedom. I think I even shouted with glee, but it was hard to hear myself over the engine and the wind. I know I opened my mouth at some point because I inhaled an entire family of bugs. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? Let's do it together sometime. I'll do my best to keep the bugs away for you._

_I was so glad to hear (or read) that things are going well at the shop. Remember, though, take your days off! No one will perish if their watch takes a little more time, but you, sir, are another story. Take care of yourself like you would take care of me. At least do that for me since I can't be there for you right now._

_I'm sure I say it in every letter, but I miss you terribly. I meet new people everyday, but you'll always be my favorite person in the entire world. It's nice to expand my horizons, yet it always reminds me how lucky I am that I have you back home. I never imagined London would feel like home again after I left. I suppose it's not London, though. It's you that makes it home._

_I realize I'm being dramatic but that's the only way I know how to be, isn't it?_

_With love always, _

_Your David_

Thomas rubbed his eye with the heel of his palm. He inhaled through his nose and let the letter fall to the table as he stretched to grab his telephone. He needed to be able to pour his heart out to someone. Thomas expected the butler to answer, but Teddy answered himself. He said he was indisposed, but invited Thomas to join him and Eric for dinner the following evening. Thomas accepted the invitation and hung up the receiver. He picked it back up to call Kait, but placed it down again. He knew Teddy and Eric wouldn't look at him differently, but the thought of Kait being disappointed in him made his eyes well up again. He wiped his eye once more, picked up all of the cards, and then went to bed, the weight of the day so heavy that he couldn't help but fall asleep beneath it.

Thomas loved being a guest at Teddy's estate. It validated that he made the right choice leaving Downton, which was helpful on the rare occasion when he wondered if he made the right choice. When bills piled up, when customers refused to pay for perfectly good service, when wind and rain whipped through him on the way to or from work; it was all worth it to be someone invited to the table in a grand dining room rather than being an observer standing against the wall.

There was no pretense to Thomas's visit; he wanted advice from his friends. Teddy immediately jumped on the opportunity to call David names, but Eric narrowed his eyes at Teddy until Teddy's mouth closed.

"This is third hand information," Eric said while the butler poured wine. "And not just third hand, but information passed around the globe. Put it behind you, it's nothing."

Thomas twisted the stem of his wine glass between his fingers. "I doubt Lady Edith misunderstood."

"I concur," Teddy said, already finishing his first glass of wine. He nodded to the butler for more. "David is David whether he's in London or Downton or Timbuktu."

Thomas grimaced and sipped his wine. "No, maybe Eric's right. I'm being a fool blowing it out of proportion."

Eric nodded, "I mean, I don't think you're a fool. Don't quote me on that bit, but think about it, Thomas. David's barely taken a trip with the same person twice. He's been zig-zagging all over the world. Wouldn't he have stayed put somewhere if he had really fallen for someone else?"

Thomas flashed back to the strongman and closed his eyes briefly. "You're probably right. There's something else, though."

"Yes?" Eric asked, leaning in.

"I did something very stupid."

Teddy sat up a little straighter. "Why, what did you do?"

Thomas looked around the room, and Eric took the hint. "Can you excuse us for a moment?" Eric asked the butler and footman. The men nodded and marched to the hallway, closing the door behind them.

Eric gave Thomas a warm smile. "It won't leave this room, whatever it is. Right, Ted?"

"Obviously," Teddy huffed.

"So what is it?" Eric asked gently.

Thomas looked up from his untouched dinner plate. "I kissed someone else," he whispered, looking as nauseous as he felt.

Teddy sat back against his chair and chuckled. "Oh that's nothing! Good grief, I thought you were going to say something serious."

"Well it is serious to him," Eric said, his eyes narrowed again. He looked back to Thomas. "Who? I guess it doesn't matter who, specifically. Someone you're going to see regularly?"

Thomas shook his head.

"That's good!" Eric said, nodding. "David will understand. You received some upsetting information, you had a moment of weakness, and now you've realized the error of your ways."

"Would you be so understanding if it were you?" Teddy asked, still reclining. "If I received some bad information and immediately kissed some strange man, would you say, 'Oh well, things happen'?"

Eric whipped his head around. "Would you shut up? Seriously. Stop talking."

"He's right," Thomas said, his eyes watering. "He'll be so cross. He'll never want to come back to me."

"Well, goodness Thomas, don't tell him while he's still traveling," Teddy scoffed.

"That's the only thing I have to agree with," Eric said. "Not with Teddy's tone, mind you, but don't say it in a letter. He'll be back, and when he is, you can tell him. It's so clear that you acted out of passion. I promise he'll understand. He may be cross, but not forever."

Teddy clapped his hands. "So we've come to an agreement. No tears, Thomas. Drink away your troubles with us tonight, sleep it off in the guest wing, and you'll be all better in the morning."

"We're in agreement again," Eric said, reaching over to pat Thomas's knee. "You can't change what happened, you can only take control of what you do next."

Thomas closed his eyes and released the breath he'd been holding. He picked up his crystal glass and sipped his wine.

"Attaboy!" Teddy declared. "Eric, call the men back in."

"Excuse me?" Eric said, crossing his arms.

"I'll get them, I'll get them," Thomas said, "if it'll stop you two from bickering."

"No promises," Teddy replied.

Thomas forced himself to eat the exquisite meal he was served, but like the day before, he had an easier time drinking. Teddy asked the butler to retrieve a particular bottle purchased recently at a renowned auction, and Thomas felt his misery lift. It was a wine he had only heard of but never tasted, not even when he snuck a sip here or there before serving at Downton. The room was quiet when the butler returned with the decanted bottle, and Thomas savored the look and scent of his glass before slowly taking his first sip. It was peppery, smooth, and perfectly balanced. It warmed him from lips to stomach, and his troubles really did seem to float away the more he drank.

"Should we head out to the pool after this?" Teddy asked.

"No," Thomas said, putting up a finger for emphasis. "N-O," he repeated, spelling the word. "I'll never fall for that one."

"For a friendly swim," Teddy said defensively.

Thomas waved him off. "Friendly my foot."

Eric grinned, nearly giggling. "He sees through you, Ted."

"I need a new tactic, it seems," Teddy said, putting his hand up when the butler offered another pour.

Eric held his glass up. "I'll take his portion."

"Of course you will," Teddy said with a smile.

Thomas finally felt relaxed for the first time in days. "Excuse me, what if I wanted your portion?"

"Then I would open up the second bottle," Teddy said, his smile growing.

"We're ready to retire to the conservatory," Eric told the butler. "And we don't need a second bottle at this time."

"Who is this 'we' you speak of?" Thomas said.

"What about something harder?" Teddy asked.

Thomas pointed across the table at Teddy. "Excellent idea. Excellent."

The butler pulled Teddy's chair out for him, and the footman pulled out Thomas's. Thomas kept his hands on the table to steady himself, then stood up straight.

"I'm fine," he responded to the Eric's judging eye.

"He's fine," Teddy said, patting Thomas's shoulder.

The three men made their way to Teddy's conservatory. Thomas admired the moon and stars through its domed glass ceiling while Teddy dismissed the butler for the evening. The footman, however, was still on the clock. He fetched a cart that carried crystal liquor bottles, an ice bucket, and three glasses. After pouring drinks, the footman went out to the hall, closing the door behind himself.

Teddy linked his arm through Thomas's, drawing him away from the night sky. He walked Thomas past exotic plants and flowers, several of them taller than the men, telling Thomas the name and origin of each one as they passed. Eric undid his bow tie and relaxed on an ornate metal bench beneath the arching bough of a tree.

Teddy lead Thomas to a wall of glass overlooking his favorite fountains on the grounds. He stood behind Thomas and untied Thomas's bowtie, then slipped off Thomas's jacket and put it over a bench. He slid his arms under Thomas's and hugged him around his ribs, resting his chin softly in the crook of Thomas's neck. He inhaled and closed his eyes, pulling Thomas close.

Thomas put his hands on top of Teddy's and patted them. "You think I'm willing to make another mistake, don't you?"

Teddy lips grazed Thomas's neck as he replied, "what's two when you've already made one?"

"Wouldn't it bother you to be a friend's mistake?"

Teddy brought his lips to Thomas's ear. "If the friend was you, I'd say I'm quite alright with it."

"Sorry, Ted. I'm not in the market for more mistakes."

But you're not pulling away, either, Teddy thought. He undid the top two buttons of Thomas's shirt and ran his fingers lightly over the skin it exposed. "I can't help that you give me ferociously carnal cravings, can I?" Teddy whispered in Thomas's ear. "You look delectable, you smell heavenly, and I bet you taste even better." Since Thomas continued to stay in Teddy's arms, he took it as an invitation. He kissed Thomas's jaw softly, so lightly his lips barely made contact. "I'm right," Teddy whispered, kissing Thomas's neck as softly as he'd kissed his jaw, followed by more slow, light kisses.

Thomas closed his eyes, between the wine and the attention Teddy was giving him he felt like he was floating. He rolled his head to the opposite side as Teddy changed positions, kissing his other cheek, making his way down Thomas's neck.

"No you don't," Eric said gently, surprising them both with how close he had gotten without them noticing. "I know you don't know better right now," he continued, pulling Thomas away by the arm, "But you do, Teddy."

Disheveled from Teddy's touches, Thomas met Eric's eyes. "No I don't."

Eric shook his head and sighed. "Yes you do, I don't want to hear anything on the contrary. Let me walk you to your room. Ted, I'll meet you in ours."

"What if I don't want to go to my room?" Thomas asked, running his fingers through his hair to put it back in place. "What if I want to go with you two to yours?"

Teddy put his arm around Thomas. "Let him make his own decisions, Eric."

"That's what I'm doing," Eric said, leading Thomas away from Teddy by the elbow. "He came here because he needed friends, and you're not being a good friend right now. He's too inebriated to shove you off."

"You're talking about me like I'm not even here," Thomas complained, looking up at Eric.

"You're not, you're in the clouds," Eric said with a sympathetic smile. "If you ever truly, openly, soberly wanted to join us, by all means. For now, you're going to bed."

Teddy crossed his arms and shifted his weight to one side. "Not fair, Eric."

Eric lead Thomas away from Teddy. "Oh please," he said over his shoulder, "you're just randy. I'll send the footman in to put out your little fire."

"You'll do what?" Thomas asked as they reached the door.

"His plaything," Eric whispered to Thomas. "As if one man alone would ever satisfy him."

"And you're alright with that?"

Eric shrugged. "We both have our vices, trust me."

The footman was still standing in the hall, and he straightened when the door opened. He looked at Thomas and Eric briefly, and Thomas could tell the young man inferred he and Eric were off to do something salacious.

"He wants you," Eric said matter-of-factly.

The young man nodded professionally, as if Eric had simply asked for a pot of tea, and entered the conservatory.

"That's so bizarre," Thomas whispered.

"Not if you're Ted," Eric replied.

Thomas recalled how in the past Teddy wanted David in his employment, and had also tried to get Thomas to be his valet at one time. He was thankful David didn't follow that path, and glad he hadn't either, though he never seriously entertained the offer. Maybe it wasn't so flattering to be at Teddy's table afterall, he thought. At the table or standing behind it, he would still be objectified.

Eric lead Thomas to a guest room, quite a long walk from the conservatory. "Get yourself ready for bed and I'll fetch you some water. That's all you're allowed to drink the rest of your visit," he added with a smile.

"You're not upset with me?" Thomas asked lightly.

"You know I'm not," Eric said, patting Thomas's shoulder. "Ted? Yes. You? Not one bit."

Thomas smiled and put his fingers to the two undone buttons of his shirt. "Even if you're not upset, I'm sorry."

Eric nodded. "It's already in the past. I'll be back in a bit."

By the time Eric returned with a glass of water, Thomas was already asleep, still completely clothed except for his shoes, which he kicked off before laying stomach-down on the bed. Eric placed the glass on the bedside table, turned out the light, and headed to bed, wondering if Teddy would even join him there that night.

"You alright?" the interpreter called to David.

David scrambled to his feet, stumbling backward as other men from his group tried to calm his horse.

"You alright?" the interpreter asked again after climbing down off his horse, now at David's side holding him up by the arm.

David spat out the dirt in his mouth and wiped away drops of blood from under his nose. "I don't think anything's broken," he said, coughing again as blood trickled down the back of his throat. "You've anything in your canteen?"

The interpreter handed his canteen to David. "You're welcome to whatever's in there."

David filled his mouth with water and swished it around, gargling before he spat it away from the other man. He felt desperate to get the taste of dirt and blood out of his mouth.

"Ride with me. One of the others can pull your horse behind his. It's not your fault," the interpreter added, sensing David's guilt, "that horse is ornery."

David nodded and handed back the canteen, then let the interpreter help him onto the horse. The interpreter let the other men know David would be fine, and they continued on their way.

As they rode over the rough terrain, David wondered if he had been wrong about not having any breaks. His ribs ached with every bump. He knew there was nothing much to do for broken ribs, though, and kept his discomfort to himself.

An hour later they reached a temple situated within a vast and carefully maintained garden. David was aware he must have been a sight against the beautiful background, with his clothing dirty, his face splattered with dried mud and blood. The navigator led David to a nearby spring while the other men headed for the temple. The spring was refreshingly cold, and he alternated between washing himself and taking a long drink from the bubbling water. He was already wearing his change of clothes for the trip, but the dirty clothes in his rucksack were in better condition, so he changed into them while the navigator had a turn taking a drink.

The two men caught up with the others, and David grimaced as the interpreter welcomed him with a pat on the back. It was tranquil inside the wooden building. Open walls let in the sun and breeze, running water kept multiple fountains flowing. The monks invited the men to tea, and David winced as he took his seat on the floor by a low table. He asked the interpreter if the monks knew the objective of their visit was to share the story of the temple with readers back home.

"Maybe you hit your head harder than I thought," the interpreter whispered. "Of course they know the purpose of our visit."

"What I mean is, do you think they understand? Do you think they truly want to share their life here with foreigners?"

The interpreter gave David a doubtful look. "Yes, why else would they allow us here in the first place?"

David relented, accepting that he and the interpreter wouldn't see eye to eye on the matter. He struggled to focus during their tea. His side throbbed and he continued having visions of his accident with a horse during the war. The thoughts were inescapable, even in such calm and beautiful surroundings. The tea only washed down so much of the taste that remained on his tongue.

After tea, the men were taken on a tour of the grounds. David fell behind enough to take a quiet moment to himself. He closed his eyes and inhaled. He imagined being in Thomas's apartment, drinking tea they made together, relaxing on the sofa afterwards each with their own books, their heads on opposite ends of the sofa with their legs intertwined. He longed for those kinds of everyday interactions. Relaxing Sundays in a space they shared equally. Every night spent in the same bed, sharing stories from their day, falling asleep in each other's arms. Now that he was closer to actually going home, he felt more comforted by thoughts of a future with Thomas, rather than mostly experiencing the pain of missing him.

He summoned himself from his trance and followed the pebble-covered path to the other men. He made loose doodles on his pad without looking down at the paper very often, soaking up the scene as much as he could. It was certainly one of the most beautiful he'd seen to date, he thought. It might be challenging to capture the delicate, spindly, flower-covered tree branches, or the intricacy of the maze-like shrubbery. He made a quick drawing of a monk, the silhouette of the temple, and then a few notes to remind himself what colors to use later.

Sleep eluded him that night. He was woken by a nightmare, then by the pain in his chest, then by another nose bleed. He crawled out of the tent and limped a ways away from camp. He leaned his head on a tree as he relieved himself, chuckling while he tried to remember the last time he used proper indoor plumbing. The moon was nearly full, bats darting overhead in the haze of its light. He would be in a city within three days, and he thought about the telegram he would send to Thomas. He gazed at the sky, smiling as he imagined the look on Thomas's face when he received the news that they would be together soon.

"Move in together?" Kait laughed, lowering her voice once she realized customers were looking.

Thomas rested his elbow on a glass cabinet full of new watches on display. "I'm serious, why not? We could get an even more respectable flat together than either of us have on our own."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize my flat wasn't respectable," Kait said, laughing again.

Thomas rolled his eyes. "You know what I meant. And we would have fun together," he continued as if Kait had never interrupted him. "We would both be taking after the place, so less work for each of us, and you know I would be the one to take care of the cooking."

Kait rested on her heel and sighed. "This is why you called me down here? To have some fantasy about playing house?"

"One minute," Thomas told her. He crossed the store and set a begging pair of eyes on Sam. "May I take my break early?"

Sam removed a tiny screw from the glass face of a watch. "I'd say it's early, you've only been here two hours."

"I never ask favors like this."

Sam looked up over his magnifying lens. "You know you don't even have to ask, Thomas. I trust you're not running off on some hours-long adventure, and I'm sure you have a perfectly valid reason for taking an early break."

Thomas nodded. "I forget sometimes that you're a good human being."

"Thank you?"

Thomas chuckled. "That didn't come out how I meant it. I'm still conditioned to downright beg for any lenience."

"See you when you're back," Sam said, returning to his work.

Thomas lead Kait next door to the diner, ordering himself a coffee after Kait ordered tea and eggs.

"You look tired," Kait observed, setting her beaded purse on the table.

"I am, a bit."

Kait laid her napkin gently on her lap and straightened her sleeves. "So, why is this idea of yours such an emergency?"

Thomas said thank you as his coffee was placed before him. "I just keep running it over in my mind and I'd like to act. It'll be the first of the month soon, if we're to find something we should do so quickly."

Kait accepted her tea with a thank you and blew on it lightly. "And what about David? Are we supposed to be one big, strange, happy family once he returns?"

Thomas clenched his jaw for a moment before speaking. "Whenever he's back, and God only knows when that'll be, he… he may not want to live with me anyhow."

"What on earth are you talking about?" Kait asked, coughing a little on her tea. "That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard. You're getting impatient with his absence, and I sympathize, but come now, Thomas. He'll come back to you."

Thomas's shoulders slumped. He began to reach for a cigarette but didn't have the energy to smoke one. "I did something daft. Trust me when I say he may not want to live with me."

Kait scooted her chair closer to Thomas and lowered her voice. "Don't tell me weasley Teddy finally broke you down."

Thomas ran a hand over his carefully coiffed hair. "No, no, no."

"Oh, thank goodness," Kait sighed, speaking up again. "Well I can't imagine what would put David off besides that."

"It wasn't Teddy. It was a stranger."

Kait had her fork in hand as her eggs were delivered, and she dropped it on the table. "Thomas, you're joking. You're joking!"

"I wish I were."

Kait put her hand to her heart, imagining what kind of pain David might feel upon hearing the same news. "A stranger? Why would you sleep with a stranger."

Thomas shook his head. "I didn't go that far. Wanted to, but didn't."

"Then what is it you did, exactly?"

Thomas sipped his coffee before speaking. "I kissed him."

Kait put her fingers to her temples and closed her eyes. "You are driving me absolutely batty right now, you know that? All this hubbub because you had a snog? That's not exactly adultery."

"Might as well be. If I were David, I would be devastated. Trust me."

Kait let out a long sigh, then chewed a bite of her eggs slowly. "So what are we talking? A romance? An affair? Or just one night that involved a kiss?"

"One night. Not even a night, really, an encounter."

Kait set her fork down and folded her hands on the table. " He loves you, Thomas. He's not going to throw it all into the bin over a kiss."

"I did it because I thought he'd fallen in love with someone else."

"What? I'm seriously so confused."

Thomas's coffee perked him up enough that he was ready for a cigarette. "That's why I kissed someone, I was angry. I'd heard a rumor that he was staying away because he'd fallen for someone, but I think now it wasn't true. I should've known it from the start, but I jumped to conclusions, and like the idiot I am, I also jumped into someone else's arms. David would be well within his right to tell me to toss off, Kait."

Kait put her fingers to her temples again, trying to absorb all of the information Thomas lobbed her way. "And because of all of this, you want to be roommates with me?"

"No, that's unrelated."

"Bloody Hell, Thomas."

"I could use the distraction, admittedly, but I'd already had the idea. Even if David comes home, and comes back to me, he'll be off again in no time. Kait," Thomas said, reaching across the table for her hand, "I'm lonely."

Kait took Thomas's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Oh, my darling friend, you're one of the sweetest creatures I know. It's hard right now, but you've been through harder. This to shall pass." Kait took her hand back and continued eating. "When it does, if you still want to room together, we'll discuss it then."

"It'd be fun."

"I completely agree."

Thomas took a drag and leaned back as the waitress topped off his coffee. "Can we at least look at some flats together? I could use the distraction."

Kait nodded as she chewed. "Sure, sure, we can look. Make some calls and I'll come along."

"Thank you," Thomas said quietly. "You're a good friend."

"I know," Kait chuckled. "Your coffee's my treat, you can buy me a stiffer drink later."

"I certainly owe you one."

"At least one," Kait agreed. "Have you ever lived with a woman before?"

Thomas let out a breath. "Have I ever. More than a dozen of 'em when the staff was at its largest."

"Right, right," Kait said, finishing her last sip of tea. "I forget that whole business. You didn't all sleep in the same place, though, did you?"

"No, 'course not. There were separate dorms for men and women, but other than sleeping and bathing we did everything together."

Kait always struggled to see Thomas as a servant, it seemed so out of character from the Thomas she knew. "Like meals, right? What else?"

Thomas needed a second cigarette if he was about to take a trip down memory lane. "I mean literally everything. Whatever you might do with your family, that's what you do with the others downstairs. Any time between your duties you would usually join the others in the servant's hall. Leisure activities, you take up with your coworkers. Holidays, you celebrate them together. Once the family's celebration was complete, that is. If you're sick, they care for you. If you're sad, they support you. You laugh together, fight together, even love one another in some cases."

"Do you mean romantic love, or familial love?"

"Some romantic, many familial."

"So you had this giant, busy, loving group of people around you, and now you're living on your own. No wonder you're lonely, Thomas."

Thomas straightened his onyx cufflinks. "All I wanted when I was there was to be alone. Have some real privacy. Take a bath without a line of men with urgent bathroom needs at the door. Come and go as I please. Eat what I want, sleep where I want, make my own rules."

"But you're human, lovey, and we're a social species. I get it, I get it much more now. We'll look at some places like I promised, alright? That will help?"

"Yes, it will."

Kait reached across the small table and held Thomas's cheek. "Call me when you've found something."

Thomas was afraid if he spoke his voice my waver and nodded in agreement, surprising himself by how sentimental he'd become over thoughts of Downton's downstairs.

His quick coffee with Kait reenergized him, and he returned to work more optimistic. Sam was pleased to see a more affable Thomas interacting with customers than the one that had greeted him that morning. He had noticed a darkening of Thomas's moods lately and assumed it was related in some way to David, but never asked for fear of opening a door he couldn't close. It was clear to him that there was more than friendship between the two men, but to acknowledge it was another story. Maybe someday, Sam thought, but no day soon.

The evening paper greeted Thomas upon his arrival home and he flipped straight to the flat listings. He called every one that listed two bedrooms, securing three showings for the following evening. Thomas wasn't sure if Kait was feigning excitement when he called to tell her, but even if she were, the effort to sound excited meant a lot to him. He read himself to sleep that night, not allowing his brain a single moment to ruminate over things with David. He awoke the next morning with the book beside him on the pillow. He took it with him to work to ensure any down time would be filled with reading, not thinking.

Kait met Thomas on the sidewalk outside a five story brick building, ivy weaving its way up the side. She stood on her toes to give Thomas a quick peck on the cheek. "Before we head in, what's our story?"

"How do you mean?"

"The first thing they'll ask is whether we're married."

"That's giving me a lot of credit."

"Oh hush," Kait said, batting Thomas's shoulder. "I don't think anyone would rent to two single adults of the opposite sex who wish to cohabitate."

"We're looking for two bedrooms."

"Maybe they assume that's for our future child."

Thomas laughed. "Can you imagine?"

"You, perhaps. Me, never. Never, ever."

Thomas checked his watch. "Let's not be late. Why don't we just try the truth? Two friends, no romance, just looking for a place to live."

"Have it your way," Kait said, taking the arm Thomas offered to her, "but you're setting us up for failure."

Kait pressed the buzzer, and a few seconds later a plump middle-aged man greeted them at the door. He shook Thomas's hand and tipped his hat to Kait, then lead them up the winding staircase to the third floor. The flat was at the end of the hallway, a corner apartment overlooking an alley on one side and a two story building on the other. It was empty and clean, still the slight odor from a fresh coat of paint. There were floor to ceiling windows in the living room, which Kait immediately approached, and Thomas could tell she was imagining what kind of photographs she could take in their light. The bedrooms were of equal size with a small bathroom between them, and the kitchen appliances were all relatively new.

"So what has you in the market for a new place?" the man asked Thomas.

"We're looking for a bigger place," Thomas answered, which was technically true.

"I see, I see. You're not being evicted or nothin', are you?"

"Not at all, sir."

"And you're gainfully employed?"

"We both are," Kait answered, even though the man hadn't included her in the conversation.

He nodded approvingly. "My daughters all work, too, little lady. Didn't mean to imply otherwise. Any children or pets?"

"No, neither," Kait answered. "Are they allowed?"

"Which one, Miss? Children or pets?"

Kait giggled. "We don't have a pet, but I'm curious if you'd permit it if we did."

Thomas gave Kate a quizzical look and she shrugged in response.

"That'd depend on the pet. Perhaps a small dog or a cat could be considered."

"Like I said, just curious," Kait continued. "Do you also live in the building?"

"Used to," the man replied, looking wistful. "When all those girls I mentioned were runnin' around. Me n' the missus live in a smaller place a few blocks up now. But you'll always be able to reach me if something comes up."

Kait had only planned to tour flats with Thomas to appease him, but she felt comfortable in the clean, updated, roomy flat, and the idea of having Thomas as a roommate had grown on her. "How long is the lease?"

"One year."

"A year," Kait repeated, running her hand over the smooth kitchen countertop. "It's month to month at the moment."

"A year lease is common," Thomas told Kait.

"It's a bit of a commitment," the landlord interjected, "but it's also security for you. Month to month means they can toss you out on your backside whenever that please."

Kait laughed at the visual. "I don't have that concern, but you're right, there would be a sense of security if I knew we'd be here for a year."

Thomas tried to read Kait's expression and tone. Was she playing along, or was she genuinely considering the flat? "Would you consider us as tenants?" Thomas asked after a pause.

"So far so good," the man said with a cheerful smile. "You both seem like honest folk. I'd like to confirm your employment, but otherwise, I don't see why not. Another couple came by earlier and are interested, but they need a cosigner. If you want the place and you're financially independent, you'd both get preference over the other two."

"We're financially independent," Kait replied, not sure of Thomas's situation, but confident in her own. "Could we have a moment to discuss?"

"I have a feeling the decision is up to you, Miss, but of course you may have some time to confer. I'll wait in the hallway."

Kait led herself on another tour of the flat, checking the view from each window, turning on the faucets, flicking switches, checking corners for signs of mice or other pests. Thomas looked out at the sunset through the wide living room windows, able to see much more of the sky than he could from inside his flat. "There's no balcony or anything," he called to Kait.

"Yes there is, check the bedrooms."

Thomas hadn't taken a look through the bedroom windows. Each bedroom had its own small metal balcony accessible through the large windows. It could be a nice little place to smoke and read, he thought.

"Let's try it out," Kait said, jogging up behind Thomas.

Thomas reached up to unlock the window and Kait pushed it open. Thomas stepped out first, then helped Kait. She left her heels in the bedroom, worried they might get stuck in the metal grating that made up the balcony floor.

"What do you think?" Kait asked, fixing Thomas's hair that had come out of place as he climbed outside.

Thomas smiled and shrugged. "I think you know what I think. What about you?"

"I really like it. I actually really like it."

Thomas put his arm around Kait and pulled her to his side. "Well, we still have more places to see tonight."

"I don't need to. I like it here."

"As in you want to live here? With me?"

"I do."

"You sound surprised."

"I am!" Kait said, wrapping her arms around Thomas's waist. "It's a bit impulsive of me and all, I know, but I feel really good about this."

Thomas kissed Kait's forehead. "I do, too."

"Well then, let's not leave that poor man waiting in the hall any longer."

"One more minute," Thomas said as the sun was nearly gone over the horizon. "Let's just stand here one more minute."

Kait closed her eyes and squeezed Thomas. "I can certainly stand one more minute right here."

Back in the flat, and Kait back in her shoes, the two expressed their interest to the landlord, and Thomas produced his most recent pay stub as proof of employment. Kait hadn't thought seriously enough before they arrived to bring something herself, but the landlord was willing to let them sign a lease.

After signing on the dotted line, Kait ran down the sidewalk, pulling Thomas behind her. She wanted champagne and dancing to celebrate their new living arrangements, and Thomas wasn't about to deny her either one. They ate a quick meal at a cafe, mostly so Kait would be able to hold her champagne later, and then headed to her favorite club. She didn't care that she wasn't dressed for an evening out, she was high on adrenaline and ready to feel the music in her soul. Her only regret was that she didn't have her camera.

When the band began, Kait swept Thomas onto the dance floor. He tossed his jacket on a chair and took Kait in his arms. Cheek to cheek for the slow songs, arm and arm for the fast, Thomas was so elated Kait said yes that he could dance all night. He craved companionship, and now he would have it every day that he shared a home with his friend. His most pure and authentic friendship, Thomas told Kait over a toast to their future.

"What about Eric? Or Teddy?" Kait asked after taking a ceremonial sip of her champagne.

Thomas shook his head. "No," Thomas said over the music. "Eric is a close second, but Teddy's nowhere near third."

"I'm afraid to ask why."

"Trust that instinct."

When the couple's feet hurt too much to stay upright, Thomas called a taxi and rode with Kait to her flat. He hugged her goodnight, and when she was safely inside, he walked back to his place. He'd be tired again for work the next day, but his good mood would make up the difference. He was about to pen a letter to David to share his news, but decided against it. He realized there was much more to discuss before his living situation. As he went about his apartment turning off lights, he noticed an envelope had been slipped under his door. He must not have noticed it when he came home, he thought.

It was a telegram from a location Thomas couldn't pronounce, the first communication David had sent outside of a personal letter. His fingers shook as he opened it, tearing the envelope hastily, an increasing sense of urgency rushing through him as he pulled out the folded paper inside.

_My Thomas,_

_I have been saving every cent so that I can support myself when I come home, so that I'm not a burden on you. I have a good amount saved but I can't wait any longer. I'm coming home two weeks from sending this message. There's enough saved for me to help you pay rent until I find employment in England, hopefully London proper. I have so much more to tell you, but I'll be able to do that in person soon enough. I love you and I'm counting the days until I can kiss you._

_Love,_

_Your David_

Thomas sat on the floor and hugged his knees to his chest, letting the telegram fall from his fingers. He rapped his head against his knees, gritting his teeth as warm tears burned his eyes. The letter was dated three days prior. Eleven days and Thomas would have to confess to David what he did under the bleachers of the traveling circus. Thomas knew the kiss would only be a secondary injury to David. Thomas's lack of trust would be the main offender, proven by his hasty hop into the arms of another man. He wiped his eyes with his gloved palm, then reached for the telegram again, reading the words a second time as if maybe he'd misunderstood them at first. A moment that should have delighted him had instead knocked him out of the clouds, and it was all his fault, he told himself.

Thomas all but crawled to bed, setting his alarm extra early so that he could send a telegram in response before work.

Three days later, David was given a telegram that successfully made its way to the village where he was staying. He wanted to jump for joy over receiving such a quick response. He took the telegram back to his cot and opened it carefully.

_David, my David,_

_I'm at a loss as I pen this message. I probably shouldn't put any of this on you before you return, but I've done something I can't undo and you deserve to know. I was told what I am sure now was unfounded gossip, but I believed it just the same, and thought you'd fallen out of love with someone else. I behaved like I would have in my old, fool-hardy days, and I made a very poor decision. I kissed someone. It was a person I'll never see again, but the shame I feel will stay with me forever. I'm not telling you this so you'll feel sorry for me, I don't deserve your sympathy. I'm telling you now to give you time to consider what you want when you get home. Maybe you'll be so mad you'll want to go to Sam's instead of coming to me, and I would understand. _

_If you still come to me despite my failings, know that there's no requirement that you pay your own way. You get home, I can take care of the rest for now. _

_I love you deeply and I'm eternally sorry._

_Yours, now and forever,_

_Thomas_

The words David read felt so surreal he could hardly absorb them as truth. He read the telegram again, just to be sure he truly grasped the facts it contained. He was equal parts angry at whoever spread the rumor, at Thomas, and at himself. I should never have stayed this long, he scolded himself, swallowing the lump rising in his throat. He couldn't decide whether he would rather Thomas told him in person, but it didn't really matter. Now he knew.

He hadn't experienced a single moment of temptation in his travels despite the fact that there had been plenty of opportunities. He would never have entertained the thought, but there was Thomas back home, doing more than entertaining it. How could he believe a lie like that, David wondered. Who would tell a lie like that? His thoughts and fears began bouncing off each other in his brain.

To stop himself from reading the telegram over and over, dissecting every word, he took it to the fire in the common room of his hostel and threw it into the flames. He walked straight into town and sent another telegram.

Another three days, and now just about a week until David would be home, Thomas came home to the telegram. He sat on the floor to read it, knowing he would wind up some there anyway no matter what message the envelope contained.

_Thomas,_

_I've decided not to come to London directly and will arrive one week later than previously stated. My train arrives at four p.m. that day. Please wait for me at the station. _

_David_

That's it?, Thomas thought. He turned the letter over, but that was all. No acknowledgement of the telegram Thomas sent, and Thomas wondered if David had even received it, but with the lack of any intimate greeting or sign-off, Thomas didn't really need to wonder for long.

He rose to his feet and put the letter on his kitchen counter. He vowed to keep himself busy until the day he would arrive at the station, ready and waiting for whatever David had in store for him.


	3. Chapter 3

"This is why the male and female servants didn't share a bathroom," Thomas said as he handed Kait a pile of her undergarments.

"Where else should I hang them to dry? The living room?"

Thomas put his hands on his hips. "It's not the fact that you hang them to dry, it's that you never take them down. I have to practically crawl my way to the bath."

Kait threw a pair of her underwear at Thomas's head, and laughed as he batted it away like an insect. "You're acting like a little boy."

"Oh yes, because grown men really want ladies' unmentionables in their face."

"Well, yes, Thomas. Most of them do."

"Fair. But I don't. That doesn't make me a child. Do you want mine in your face?"

Kait wrinkled her nose.

"Exactly my point," Thomas said with his chin in the air.

Kait picked the pair of underwear up off the floor and put the pile away. She headed for the bathroom to take down her laundry line, but Thomas was almost finished putting it away.

"I would've done that."

"Mmm hmm, just like you would've put them away. While you're in here, let me ask you something."

"Can't wait to hear this one."

Thomas faced the mirrored medicine cabinet that hung over the sink. He leaned in close and brushed his hair back with his fingers. "Do you think I've gone more grey recently?"

Kait stood closer and met Thomas's eyes in the mirror. "Yes. Been counting the hairs, you're up to 102 strands. Now take a look at my roots and tell me how much longer you think I have until it's time for a dye job."

"I'm serious," Thomas rebutted, though he laughed as he spoke.

"Worried David will think you're looking older?"

Thomas turned back around and leaned against the sink. "That's the least of my worries when it comes to him."

Kait put her hands on Thomas's shoulders and shook him gently. "He loves you, you old sod. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Why don't we get all dudded up and hit the town? It'll take your mind off things."

"Thank you, but I think I'll turn in early tonight. Old men like me get tired, you know."

"No!" Kait laughed, shaking Thomas again. "Get dressed!"

Thomas sighed. "Yes, ma'am."

Kait left Thomas in the bathroom, then called to him from the kitchen. "What's the cake for, by the way?"

"Eating!" Thomas called back.

"You're so clever! Really, though."

Thomas answered while brushing his teeth. "Just for fun. Have some if you'd like."

"I will when we get home later. I'm always hungry for something sweet around midnight."

Thomas winked. "Me too," he replied, muffled by toothpaste.

"Cheeky," Kait replied. She snuck a piece of frosting she thought no one would miss, then went to her room to get ready.

Thomas got himself ready, opening his doorway once he was decent so that Kait could flit in and out, a behavior of hers he learned quickly once they began cohabitating.

"Anything you had in mind in for tonight?" Thomas called through his open door.

"Yes!" Kait called back. "Can you zip me?" she asked as she appeared in Thomas's doorway.

Thomas hooked the dress at the top of the zipper and closed it carefully. There wasn't much to zip as the dress plunged low in the back.

"Thanks, love. One of my clients is having a house party tonight. He's a bit of a high-hat, but he throws a good shindig."

Thomas retrieved a shirt and slid it on over his undershirt. "Think anyone I know will be there?"

"Me. You know me."

Thomas laughed. "Yes, and when we get there and you're off and running, will there be anyone else I know?"

Kait shrugged. "I don't know, maybe? But really what's the worst thing that happens? You make a new friend or two?"

Thomas made a face mocking Kait. "I have enough friends, thank you."

"I strongly disagree," Kait said as she left to do her makeup.

Once both were ready, they gave each other a quick check head to toe to ensure nothing was out of place, and then Kait dialed the doorman to request he summon a car.

As they approached their destination, Thomas recognized the streets. They weren't far from Teddy's estate, and Thomas wondered if Teddy and Eric were invited to the party. He hadn't spent much time with either man lately, a bit embarrassed by his state during his last visit, and a bit irritated that Teddy would have taken advantage of the situation if not for Eric. Maybe he could use some more friends in his world, he thought.

"What kind of photographs do you take for this client?" Thomas asked as they followed other partygoers up the long, wide marble staircase to the mansion's entrance.

"Are you asking whether they're proper or improper?"

"Of course."

"A little bit of both," Kait said with a grin. "Don't you dare let on that you know, though."

"Yes, pleased to meet you, Kait showed me your photograph and I must say, you look quite different with your trousers on."

Kait pulled Thomas closer. "Honestly, I would love to see you introduce yourself that way."

The party wasn't like the high-society gatherings he observed at Downton. There was a full jazz band playing mellow music as people arrived and mingled, and the crowd was much younger than a typical Downton gathering. Wine was available, as were a number of mixed drinks served on trays carried by a wait staff of both men and women. He found it easy to make light conversation with people, barely noticing when Kait inevitably wandered off for a bit.

Mid-sip of his wine, he felt a very light tap of a finger on his shoulder, and turned to find a familiar face he hadn't seen since leaving Downton.

"Lady Mary," he said brightly. Immediately concerned his reaction was too familiar, he reduced the size of his smile and gave her an almost imperceptible bow.

Lady Mary returned Thomas's smile in her own aristocratic way. "Thomas, I must say it's a bit funny to run into you this evening. I received a letter just this morning from an admirer of yours who complained about not having seen you in ages."

Thomas's confused and almost alarmed expression caused Lady Mary to place a hand on his forearm.

"Goodness, you look like you've seen a ghost! I'm not sure who you think I mean, and honestly I would like to know, but it was only little Nora."

Thomas put his hand to his face. "It was the word 'admirer'. I couldn't imagine who that might mean," Thomas lied, having had heart palpitations over the thought of David writing to Lady Mary about him. "What did Lady Nora have to say about me?"

"Only that she misses you. She said you two exchanged a few letters after you left and she wanted to send you more, but was waiting for you to respond to her last post."

Thomas furrowed his brow. "I thought I sent the last message. Though, honestly, my pen pal hasn't been at the forefront of my thoughts. I'll fix that this week."

"Don't pay it much mind, every letter I receive from Nora contains some sort of grievance. Enough about her, I want to hear about you. How are you finding your new vocation? Stimulating, I hope."

"It is, my Lady, it is. I'm constantly learning, which has benefited my aging mind."

"Careful," Lady Mary said, nodding to a passing waiter as she exchanged her empty glass for a full one, "we're not too far apart in age."

Thomas shook his head and smiled. "And what about you, my Lady? How are you these days?"

"I'm quite well," Lady Mary said, rocking on the balls of her feet before taking a sip of her wine. "Working for the estate is busy per usual. Master George is going through an independent phase which, considering his parentage, may not be simply a phase. Other than that, things aren't much different at Downton, other than your apparent absence."

"I doubt it's that apparent, but I appreciate you saying so, m'lady."

Lady Mary tsk'd Thomas. "Don't give me any false modesty. I know you too well, Thomas Barrow."

Thomas looked at his wine glass bashfully.

"Now, who did you think I meant when I used the word 'admirer'?"

Thomas sipped his wine to delay his response. "I had no one in mind, I just wasn't sure who you could've meant."

"I respect that you want to keep your secrets, but just know that my curiosity is killing me."

"Understood, m'Lady. What's brought you to London this evening, if I may ask?"

Lady Mary raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes toward the other side of the room. "My dear sister. The children miss Marigold, so I've been bringing them up to visit once every other month or so."

Thomas followed Lady Mary's gaze toward Lady Edith, who looked slightly bored but smiled politely while she chatted with the man of the house.

"If you're ever looking for a diversion for the children while you're here, I would be happy to entertain them at the shop sometime."

Lady Mary looked back to Thomas and her expression softened again. "That sounds lovely. Would you prefer it be a time that Nora is or is not in our company?"

"The more children the merrier," Thomas replied.

Lady Edith must have felt their eyes upon her. She excused herself from the conversation and walked toward Lady Mary and Thomas.

"Oh dear, it seems I've summoned her," Lady Mary said behind her wine glass.

"Thomas, it's a pleasure to see you," Lady Edith said, raising her glass to him. "Actually, I was hoping I would run into you some time."

"Were you, my Lady?"

Lady Edith glanced at Lady Mary before speaking. "Yes, well, I understand Lily may have shared some unfounded… chitchat, shall we say. Might we take a walk in the garden so I can explain a bit further?"

"I can take a hint," Lady Mary said, smiling while she said the words despite the disdain in her voice. "Thomas, good to see you as always."

"Likewise, my Lady."

Thomas followed Lady Edith through large open doors that lead to a sprawling patio lit with thousands of tiny light bulbs. They navigated through couples and crowds to a staircase leading to the garden, which was lit almost as well as the patio. Lady Edith gestured towards a bench. Thomas waited for her to sit before joining her.

"I hope this doesn't come across as my prying into your business," Lady Edith began, "but I mentioned something in passing to Lily, and it seems the comment was passed on to you as well. I fear something may have been lost in translation. Do you mind if I tell you more, or would you prefer I stop here?"

Thomas had been breathing calmly, desperately trying to slow his already racing pulse. "So you know then," he said, more a statement than a question.

"He told me. Not Lily, if that's what you were thinking."

"He did, did he," Thomas said, his voice distant. "Why?"

Lady Edith gave a small shrug. "Maybe because he cares for you, and he likes to tell people he can trust. I've never told a soul, I swear. Lily once questioned why David hadn't come home during his travels, and I said 'because he's in love'. I shouldn't have said anything at all, I realize now, but that answer is true. He said he wanted to save as much as he could before coming home in order to make a proper life when he returned. I've been doing whatever I can to help in his efforts. Recommending him to others, employing him when I can. However, it seems I've stuck my nose in too far."

Thomas swallowed a lump in his throat and forced himself to meet Lady Edith's eyes. "I appreciate your honesty, my Lady."

"You don't have to respond in some formal way. You can say whatever you wish."

Thomas rubbed his hands together as he replied. "I must say, I'm struggling a bit with the fact that you know all of this and I had no control over that fact. Similarly, he put this financial plan into action without talking to me, either. I would've much rather he come home more often than squirreled away his savings, but he never asked me what I wanted. Not once this entire time."

"Then why did you think he traveled nonstop, if not to build up his savings?" Lady Edith asked carefully.

Thomas searched his mind for an answer. "I thought he had no choice. And then, recently, I thought it was because of... what Lily said."

Lady Edith gave Thomas a soft smile. "Well, it's all in the past now. He'll be back in England soon. Will you visit him at Downton, or wait until he comes to London?

Thomas looked at the ground. "I didn't know he was going to Downton."

Lady Edith sighed and looked down at her hands. "Look at me, putting my foot in my mouth once again."

"It's alright. I'm sure he's fuming. I made a mess of things after Lily talked to me. Can't blame him for wanting a pleasant visit at Downton before he sets his sights on the likes of me."

"I'm sure you're being too harsh on yourself."

Both sets of eyes looked towards the house as the band picked up their tempo. "Not much I can do about any of it right now. Care to head back inside and have a dance?"

Lady Edith waited for Thomas to stand and then took his hand. "I'd love to."

While many dance partners held each other quite close, Thomas kept the kind of proper distance he would have if he were dancing with Lady Edith at a servant's ball. Lady Mary danced with an acquaintance of hers, giving a few sideways glances at Lady Edith, dying to know what had to be said to Thomas in private.

"I know Lady Mary is trustworthy," Thomas said, noting the glances, "but if it's all the same to you, I'd like to keep what we discussed just between us."

"Of course. I won't say a word. I also can't say I agree with you on the trustworthy part."

"I doubt she would want to put me or David in a bad position."

"Perhaps. But sometimes she just can't help herself."

"People say that about me, too, my Lady."

Lady Edith looked up into Thomas's eyes. "You know you don't have to call me 'my Lady' anymore."

Thomas smiled and nodded. "I know."

When Lady Edith left Thomas's company, Kait ran to him and put herself in his arms for the next dance. She had seen the two out in the garden, Thomas's head hanging, Lady Edith looking on sympathetically. Thomas promised Kait he was alright, too tired of the subject to give specifics. Kait didn't ask for any, she only wanted to make sure everything was okay.

Later in the evening, when most of the older guests had retired for the night, Thomas noticed the familiar figures of Teddy and Eric enter the ballroom. They were each flanked by tall, poised, fashionable women who Thomas had met in passing before at a few of Teddy's parties. They knew exactly why Teddy and Eric took them out on the town, and left most people with the assumption that they were romantic partners of the men, but too genteel to admit to such things in public. Thomas wondered if the arrangement was mutually beneficial for the women.

"You were in the neighborhood and you didn't even stop by," Teddy said after re-introducing his date to Thomas.

"Because I figured I'd run into you here."

"But did you *hope* you'd run into me?'

Thomas put out his hand to greet Eric as he approached, ignoring Teddy's question. "Good to see you," he said after greeting Eric's date.

"Not good to see me?" Teddy asked.

"Stop it," Eric whispered.

The women were nearly as tall as the men with their heels on, and Kait looked child-sized when she joined the group. "Maybe one of you could carry me on your shoulders so I don't feel so out of place," she said, looking around the circle.

"It seems there are more women than men tonight," Eric's date said as she looked out on the dance floor. "I see a few pairs of women dancing. If you don't have a date," she continued, looking at Kait, "perhaps we should dance."

"I'm her date," Thomas said indifferently, paying no attention to the subtext in the woman's suggestion.

Kait elbowed him lightly. "He and I are friends, that's what he means. I'd love to dance." She offered the same elbow to the woman as they walked out on the floor.

"Why can women get away with that and we can't?" Teddy asked once the two were dancing.

"We get away with little else in this world," Teddy's date said, "at least give us this."

"Fair point," Teddy acquiesced.

Thomas watched Kait dance, realizing he had never seen her take a legitimate interest in someone romantically. She flirted, she joked, but he never knew her to actually accept a pass from a potential partner. She winked at him when she saw him watching.

"What are your plans after the party?" Teddy asked Thomas.

"To head home with Kait."

"And what if she doesn't plan to head home tonight?"

Teddy's date tsk'd. "Don't be vulgar."

"Apologies. But what if?"

Thomas looked at Eric rather than Teddy. "Then I'd head home alone."

"He's exhausting, I know," Eric whispered.

"I can hear you," Teddy said.

"I know you can," Eric replied.

"You're like an old married couple already," Thomas observed.

Teddy bumped his hip against Eric's. "Old married people don't do the things we do, though."

Teddy's date rolled her eyes, and Thomas responded by requesting her presence on the dance floor. She took the offer with relief and let him take her there.

"What's with you lately?" Eric asked once they were alone.

"Lately? I haven't changed, not one bit. I keep reminding you of that fact."

"I never knew you to be so incessantly impolite."

"I'm just joking around."

"Well no one else seems to be in on the joke."

Teddy huffed and crossed his arms. "Why is everyone against me?"

"Oh, 'against you', yes. It's everyone else, Ted."

"You're awfully uptight this evening."

Eric stepped closer to Teddy to ensure no one else could hear their squabble. "You've been putting our friends off. Have you not noticed? How many times have people walked away from you, avoided conversation, even stopped coming around you entirely?"

"And none of that means I've changed," Teddy hissed, feeling heat behind his eyes. "Those things happen to me all the time. Some people can't handle me and they eventually go away. Good riddance, I say."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

Teddy shook his head. "I'm used to it."

"Do you want me to go away, too?"

Teddy looked up at Eric as if he'd been punched in the gut. "Why would you say that?"

"Where do you think things will lead if you keep being contemptuous all the time?"

Teddy gritted his teeth. "I want to go home."

"We can't leave them here," Eric said, gesturing broadly at the dance floor.

"Then I'm going outside," Teddy said, stalking out to the garden before Eric could respond.

Eric groaned and followed the same direction, resentful that Teddy would make him chase him out into the night. He didn't find Teddy in any of the lit areas of the garden and made his way down the closest un-lit path, which was flanked by bushes that grew taller the further he walked. He called out in a whisper, cursing to himself as he continued into the dark.

"Just give me a few moments alone," Teddy said, coming up behind Eric. They could barely make each other out, each a silhouette against the hedges.

"No, I don't want to give you time to hide in the bushes and feel sorry for yourself."

"I don't feel sorry for myself," Teddy rebutted. "I'm ticked off. People tolerate my friendship because they get something out of it. Wining, dining, parties, what have you. You're one of those people, aren't you?"

"How dare you accuse me of such things? I'm not simply tolerating you, Ted. I don't share my life with you just so I can be wined and dined."

"Given all of your complaints these days, I don't see any other reason why you're with me."

Eric's eyes adjusted and he could finally see Teddy in the moonlight. "I love you and you know it."

"Do I?"

"Shut up," Eric said, grabbing Teddy by his lapels. He pulled Teddy to him, glaring down into his eyes as their bodies pressed together. "Don't question how I feel about you."

"Calm down, I don't think you're some hustler or something."

Eric didn't move as he waited for Teddy to say more.

Teddy looked at Eric's lips instead of his eyes. "But I'm not stupid, either. I know what I have to offer, and it's not my winning personality."

"If that's what you think, then you are stupid."

Teddy let his eyes wander up to Eric's. "Say I lost it all. Every penny. What would you stick around for then?"

Eric moved his hands from Teddy's lapels to his hips. "I'm supposed to prove I'd love you even if you were a pauper? Is that what this is?"

Teddy held Eric's face in his hands. "Would you, though? Still love me?"

Eric slid his hands down to Teddy's lower back. "You know the answer."

Teddy pulled Eric's face to his. "I couldn't take care of you if I were broke."

Eric rubbed his nose against Teddy's. "You take care of me, Ted, but not in the way you think. It's the same way I take care of you, and I'm certainly not coming to the table with much other than *my* winning personality."

Teddy closed his eyes and raised his lips to Eric's. "I'm sorry."

Eric closed his eyes and pulled Teddy to him tightly. "I'm sorry, too. I don't need to be harsh about it."

"Kiss me, please," Teddy whispered, breathing in as his lips met Eric's. He ran his hands through Eric's hair as they parted their lips, kissing each other more deeply with every stroke of their tongues.

"You get me so fired up," Eric said, still seething despite how badly he wanted to get Teddy out of his tuxedo.

"In a good way, or a bad way?"

"Both," Eric replied as he pushed his hips against Teddy.

Teddy pulled Eric as close as their clothing would allow. "I can arrange a car for the girls. Let's go home."

"Or," Eric said, building up a rhythm as he continued to push his hips against Teddy, "we could go just a little further over by that bench. It'd be out of sight completely."

"There's my wicked little voyeur," Teddy breathed. He let Eric pull him by the jacket to a stone bench tucked into the line of hedges.

They could hear just the faintest sounds of the party from their position, music and laughter wafting through the air, landing around them softly like feathers.

Teddy removed his jacket and laid it across the bench. "Which one of us is sitting on the bench?"

"Meaning which one of us is sitting on the other's cock?"

"You could put it that way."

Eric grabbed Teddy's shoulder and pushed him down. "Sit."

"Don't you usually like me to give orders when we're playing that game?"

Eric threw his jacket on the bench and slid off his braces. "I'm not playing any games."

"Pity," Teddy said as he helped Eric unfasten his trousers.

Eric threw his trousers on top of his jacket and stood in front of Teddy. "Should I take off the shirt, too?"

"No. Just unbutton it."

Eric obliged, slipping off his bowtie before unbuttoning his shirt. He stood on the stone path in only his shirt, socks, and sock garters.

"I like that look," Teddy said as he set his hands on Eric's hips. "May I lick you?"

"Since when do you ask?"

"I don't want to be accused of being impolite."

Eric rolled his eyes and pushed his shirt out of the way. "Yes, you may."

Teddy kept his eyes on Eric's as he inched his lips closer, exhaling as he opened his mouth. Eric shuddered at the warmth of Teddy's breath on him in the cool night air. Teddy kissed Eric's hip, letting Eric's cock graze his cheek only slightly before switching to the other hip, teasing Eric in the same way. Teddy traced the insides of Eric's thighs with his fingertips while he kissed Eric's stomach, letting Eric's cock just barely touch his neck.

"Why are you teasing me?"

Teddy looked up again and licked Eric's stomach. "Because you love it."

Eric let out a contented sigh. "I really do."

Teddy ran his index finger lightly from the base of Eric's cock to the tip and back again. Eric flexed involuntarily, sighing more deeply. "Please, Ted."

Teddy licked his finger and traced the same path.

"Please, please," Eric whispered, hoping Teddy would make him beg a little longer.

"I can't hear you."

"Please," Eric repeated slightly louder, though still whispering.

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you want."

"What if someone hears me?"

Teddy kissed Eric's inner thigh. "What if they do?"

Eric flexed involuntarily again, growing harder. "Please, Ted," he said at conversation level.

"Sorry, come again?"

"Please!" Eric pleaded over the sounds of the party.

Teddy grabbed Eric and swallowed him, eliciting another moan as Eric doubled over. "Thank you," Eric whispered as Teddy slid his hands up the outside of Eric's thighs, around the back of them, and up to Eric's backside. He grabbed Eric firmly from behind as he took him deeper into his mouth.

Eric arched his back and moaned, running his fingers slowly through Teddy's hair. He bent down and kissed the top of Teddy's head, and Teddy looked up in return, smiling around Eric's cock.

"God, I love you, Ted."

Teddy moaned, closing his eyes as he let his hands wander again. He slid his lips slowly from Eric and replaced them with his hand, patting his jacket with the other hand until he found the inside pocket that held a small metal tube.

"Always prepared, aren't you?" Eric whispered.

Teddy's lips felt beautifully numb, tingling as he said, "Aren't you glad I am?"

"Very."

Eric began to position himself, assuming Teddy planned to take him from behind, but Teddy shook his head, saying "Mmm mmm," as he handed the tube to Eric and then unbuttoned his trousers. It was most often Eric who was taken, and while he didn't mind, he welcomed any opportunity where he could do the taking. Generally when he had the opportunity, it wasn't for very long, as Teddy was most interested when another man joined the two of them, and he could have one inside him while he was in the other. Eric surprised himself by feeling a bit sentimental over having Teddy to himself in a private yet compromising position. He loves me and he trusts me, Eric thought. He helped Teddy out of his trousers, kissing his way up Teddy's legs, letting his hands slide under Teddy's shirt. He pulled him close again, kissed him deeply, whispered how much he loved him into his ear.

Teddy returned every whispered "I love you," feeling the same sentimentality that washed over Eric. Of course he would stay with me, Teddy thought. He's the most devoted person I've ever met.

Teddy let go of Eric slowly, then turned around and put his palms flat on the bench. He looked over his shoulder and wiggled his hips at Eric.

Eric laughed and smacked Teddy's backside lightly. He used most of the contents of the little tube, wanting to make sure it would be as pleasurable as possible for his partner. He squeezed the spot his hand had smacked, then let his fingers wander lightly, waiting for Teddy to start pushing himself back against his fingers before he attempted to do anything further.

"I'm ready," Teddy whispered over his shoulder, sensing why Eric delayed.

Taking a deep breath, anticipating the bliss of being inside Teddy, Eric positioned himself and let Teddy push back as far as he was willing to go. Eric shuddered and moaned as Teddy pushed back until their bodies met.

"You sure?" Eric said with a gasp, not used to Teddy taking him all the way.

In response, Teddy used the bench as leverage and slid back and forth against Eric, grinding himself against Eric's hips every time they made contact.

"I've been practicing," Teddy whispered.

Eric grinned and bit his bottom lip. "With who?"

"Not who, what. A little something I picked up when I was last in France."

Eric cocked his head to the side and moved his hips in rhythm with Teddy's. "Any chance I could get a viewing of your next practice?"

Teddy's knees weakened at the thought. "Would you assist, or just watch?"

"Hmm. I think I want to watch."

"I think I like that idea more than I would have expected."

Eric reached around and grabbed Teddy's cock. "Why yes, you certainly do."

"Right there, Eric," Teddy panted, holding still while Eric kept the same rhythm.

"Shh, I think someone's walking nearby."

Teddy smiled and pressed his lips together, seeing stars behind his eyelids as Eric stroked his cock, still hitting the same spot that was bringing him to the edge.

Eric didn't want his time inside a very tight, slick, warm, and willing Teddy to end, but he could tell Teddy was close to letting go already. He was also sure he could hear footsteps. He wanted to moan as Teddy squeezed involuntarily around him, pulsing in his hand as he came. He wanted to cry out as he felt the same kind of pulsing welling up inside him, filling Teddy as he pumped, trying desperately to be as gentle as he could while experiencing total rapture.

He pulled out and smiled as Teddy groaned with sorrow that it was over.

"We can have a go again later when there's no fear of someone stumbling on us," Eric whispered as he searched his jacket for his handkerchief. "I can definitely tell you've been practicing, by the way."

Teddy found his handkerchief and handed it to Eric. "Well, I want you to have as much fun with me as I have with you."

Eric cleaned Teddy first before himself, glad that Teddy couldn't see his face yet. His eyes felt a bit watery. "See, I told you that you take care of me, and it has nothing to do with your wealth."

"Are you going to cry about it?"

Eric swatted Teddy's backside with the used handkerchief, eliciting an "eww!" from Teddy as he jumped away.

"Shh!" Eric laughed.

A voice rose over the sounds of the party. "Boys?"

Teddy snickered as he pulled on his trousers.

"Yoo-hoo, Teddy. Eric." Thomas paced the garden, sure he heard laughter a moment ago.

"Just a minute," Eric called as if he had been summoned to supper by his mother.

"Please tell me you're decent," Thomas called back.

"Apologies, but we can't," Teddy replied.

Thomas muttered something they couldn't hear, which made them both giggle as they helped each other become presentable. Thomas muttered again and shook his head as the couple emerged from the hedges, clearly rosy-cheeked and a bit rumpled despite their best efforts.

"I've been entertaining your dates while you've been entertaining yourselves."

Teddy nodded. "I'd shake your hand in appreciation, but I'm not sure you'd want me to right this second."

Thomas's face contorted in disgust. "Find a washroom and wash up, would you? I suggest separately. I'll get back to your dates. You're welcome."

Eric gave Thomas a sheepish smile. "When David's back, I'll gladly return this favor shall you ever need it."

"If he'll let me, I'll accept your offer."

Teddy made a face similar to Thomas's look of disgust. "I don't have to be there, do I?"

"Go. Wash," Thomas said, turning on his heel as he headed back to the ballroom.

Guests continued to arrive late into the evening, and the party never slowed down. After hours of dancing, drinking, and laughing, and a few more casual conversations with the Crawley ladies, it was finally time to head back to the flat.

Kait seemed to float down the stairs as she and Thomas headed for the car. "Wasn't she a sweetheart?" Kait asked Thomas, her voice light and airy.

Thomas smiled down at his friend from under his hat brim. "I don't think I've ever seen you so goofy over someone before."

"She wants me to take her picture," Kait said with a wink.

"The special kind of picture you like to take?"

Kait blushed. "I don't think she meant that kind, but I hope we get there someday."

"My my, you seem serious about her."

Kait shrugged. "I don't know. I liked her right away, I can tell you that."

"Well, I'm happy for you, then," Thomas said as the car approached.

"I just met her," Kait laughed.

"I mean I'm happy you're happy," Thomas said, opening the car door for Kait.

As they each got ready for bed, Thomas could hear Kait humming as she washed her face in the bathroom. He leaned against the doorway, his towel over his shoulder as he waited for his turn.

"I know, I really am goofy over her," Kait admitted.

"No shame in that."

"Then why are you smiling at me?"

Thomas crossed his arms, settling in against the doorway. "This is just too adorable."

"Oh, stop," Kait said, returning to the sink.

"Would you take her last name or would she take yours."

Kait flicked water at Thomas, causing him to take a step back. "This is why I don't like to share things with people."

"Now you stop! I'm just joshing. Plus you share plenty."

"You may think I do," Kait said in a sing-song voice, "but there's much mystery behind this cherubic face."

"Yes you're practically sphinxlike. Now, when do I get a go at that sink, Miss Sphinx?"

Kait took the towel from Thomas's shoulder and patted her face. "All yours," she said, putting the towel back on Thomas.

"Gee, thank you. Oh, did I tell you where Teddy and Eric disappeared to tonight?"

"Dear me, tell me they weren't fornicating!"

Thomas chuckled. "Why do you use that word so often?"

"Because it makes you laugh. They were, though, weren't they?"

"Yes. In the bushes like some experimental school boys."

"Is that the kind of thing you did as an experimental school boy."

Thomas waved his hand over his face, pretending to wipe away all hints of expression with it. "There's much behind this cherubic face you don't know."

Kait mimicked Thomas in a squeaky voice and headed to the kitchen to make them both tea to enjoy with the cake Thomas made earlier.

Once Thomas was washed and in his pajamas and robe, he noticed the day's mail stacked on a table by the front door. He had walked right by it earlier. Thumbing through, there was a letter from David dated two months prior. The envelope had clearly been on a long journey, his old address even smudged, but it still somehow found its way to his door at his new address.

He put the envelope in the center of the kitchen table, not sure if he had the heart that evening to read it.

"Would you read it for me?" Thomas asked Kait, nudging the letter towards her with his tea cup.

"It's not intended for my eyes, love. You don't need to read it tonight. It's already months past it's intended delivery date, anyhow."

"I feel like I've lived a year since David posted it."

"I bet you do."

Curiosity always got the best of Thomas, and by the time his plate was empty, he had the letter opener poised and ready.

_My Thomas,_

_I miss electricity. I'm on week three without it and I'm ready for some synthetic light. I know you remember a time before electricity was prevalent much better than I do (that's an age joke, haw haw), but truly I've become very spoiled. It's the same with running water. I look forward to when I can take a shower. I'll put on every lightbulb while in there, too. Here I go again bellyaching. I can complain to you, though, can't I? I don't dare complain to the others here. The people who live here never have electricity, and the people traveling with me will do this work their whole lives if they can. Imagine me whining to them about needing some good reading light and water from a tap._

_I dreamed the other night that I worked with you and Sam. I don't think it would be so bad if that becomes my future. Do you? It doesn't mean I'd stop drawing altogether. I like predictability more than I realized. Not monotony, but I'd like to know what I'm doing next week, next month, next year. I don't know how Eric has done this for so long. It requires all of your physical and emotional reserves. Perhaps my problem is that I don't have much when it comes to emotional reserves._

_Waxing philosophic yet again! Why don't I tell you something positive? While I've been here I've started working on a children's book. I don't care if it's ever published, but I'd love to be able to give a copy to all the little ones in our lives. The thought of them reading something that I made, it would just mean so much to me that I can't even properly put it into words. A physical book that I made in the hands of the children I love, imagine! If I can't have my own children I can give what I can to the ones I care about. Oh dear, I've turned this into something emotional, too._

_I swear I'm not like this all the time! Writing to you makes me feel closer to you, and then I let my guard down. I'm actually surprisingly stoic most days. Surprising to me, that is, not like any of these people know me. I just don't feel those big bursts of emotion inside me as often as I used to. In good ways, sure, but anger and frustration and grief just don't fester in me as much as before. Stable, that's the word. I feel more stable than in all my adult life. You deserve a stable partner. Or as stable as I can be, I suppose. (I'm smiling as I write that, it's said with humor.)_

_Do me a favor and come to me in a dream again tonight. But please, can you not bring my brother this time? (I'm still smiling)._

_All my love,_

_Your David_

Thomas read the letter twice, smiling the entire time himself, though his eyes were misty. Kait had patted him on the shoulder when he opened the letter, heading for bed to give him time alone. He stayed in the kitchen for a while, pouring himself another cup of tea while he enjoyed a cigarette. A car horn down on the street reminded him that life teemed just outside. He took the rest of his tea and cigarette to the small balcony outside his bedroom window. Earlier in the week he had set up a wooden chair, a stone ashtray, and three plants he purchased from the market. It was his favorite space of his since moving out of Downton. Since maybe ever, he thought. The night was chilly but his robe protected him against the dropping temperature, and his tea kept him warmer still. He read the letter a third time, then closed his eyes and imagined responding.

_We both deserve a stable partner,_ he thought. _I can be that for you, David. I can keep moving on from my own propensity to fester. I can do it for the both of us._

He opened his eyes and leaned back in his chair, watching the headlights below, enjoying the evening from up in his personal gallery.

"I can't believe how big he's gotten," David gasped as he dropped to his knees.

JD Bates scrambled quickly behind his mother's legs.

"Sorry little man," David said, sitting back on his heels, "you're still a tiny bundle in my mind."

"This is your Uncle David," Anna told the toddler. "He's going to be here for a few days. You're still sure you don't want to stay at Downton, David? Mr. Carson said he would be more than happy to give you a bed while you're here."

David smiled and waved at JD. "Would it be easier for you if I stayed there?"

Anna petted JD's head as he peeked around her to look at David. "Oh we're very happy to have you, but I figured you'd prefer a bed over our sofa."

"The sofa is still better than anywhere I've slept for the past year."

Anna chuckled. "Let me make you a bite to eat. I want to hear all about it."

"I ate on the train, but if you have something sweet, I'd be happy to take it off your hands."

JD warmed up to David quickly, helped in part by the small stuffed panda David produced from his rucksack. It was past his bedtime, but Anna kept him up a little while so he and David could get reacquainted. Lady Mary was still in London, and when she heard David was coming to Downton, she suggested that Anna stay behind to spend time with him. She also planned to cut her trip one day short to see him as well.

Anna made enough tea so that Mr. Bates could have some when he arrived home that evening. She anticipated David's sweet tooth and gave him a pastry she requested from Daisy that morning, laughing at how David and JD's eyes both lit up when they saw it. David asked permission to share with JD, and Anna couldn't help saying yes with both sets of eyes on her.

David shared some stories with Anna between bites of his treat, distracted here and there by JD's squeals while he played with his new doll. Anna updated David on changes at Downton; new gadgets in the kitchen and laundry, re-designed guest rooms, a radio as a permanent fixture in the small library. There was an open position for footman again, and Anna suggested jokingly that David apply.

When David didn't laugh in response, Anna held his hand. "I was only joking. I'm sorry if I upset you."

David shook his head and sipped his tea. "No, no, it's just that a part of me wonders if things wouldn't be easier if I just went back into service or something."

"Oh, David," Anna said with a smile, "of course things would be easier, you could do the job of a footman in your sleep. But don't you think it would get boring?"

David shrugged. "Possibly. Probably. I just don't think I can keep doing what I'm doing."

"Well there are more choices in the world than those two. Enjoy your time while you're here, and you can think about what you do next when you're back in London."

"You're right, of course," David replied, finishing the last bite of his pastry, resisting licking his fingers.

"So, what are your plans while you're here?"

David carried his plate and fork to the sink. "I don't have much planned," he told Anna as he washed the plate. "I'll come up to the house tomorrow, say hello but stay out of the way. I assume Mr. Carson won't mind if I join you all for lunch."

"I believe he'll insist you come for supper as well."

"All the better. My objective is to spend as much time with everyone as your jobs will allow."

"And what about visiting upstairs?" Anna asked as she dried the plate and fork.

David joined JD on the floor. "I'd need to be invited up there, of course. Maybe some of them will stop down while I'm there."

"Lady Mary is coming back from London early just to see you, you know."

David beamed. "I didn't know. I didn't think I left that kind of impression on her, honestly."

"Oh, sure you did," Anna laughed. "Unfortunately, it's time for your little friend to go to sleep."

"Yes, JD, unfortunately it's time for me to go to sleep."

Anna laughed again. "I'm sure you're tired. Mr. Bates should be home soon enough."

"I don't mind waiting up for him, though I might doze off a bit while I do."

"Doze away," Anna replied as she gathered JD in her arms. He gripped the bear as he rubbed his eye with the other hand.

"Sleep tight!" David said as Anna and JD ascended the stairs.

"Nuh night!" JD replied.

David smiled to himself upon hearing the first words he'd heard from JD's lips. He rose from the floor, feeling creaky as he did so. He helped himself to a glass of water and walked around the perimeter of the living space, stopping to look at the framed pictures on several surfaces. He smiled again when he found a picture of himself amongst those of blood relations.

The sofa felt luxuriously comfortable, and David was asleep within minutes of laying down. He awoke when the front door opened, but Mr. Bates told him to go back to sleep and that he would see him in the morning, turning off the lights on his way to the stairs. David was too tired to argue. He fell back into a deep sleep, comforted not only by the softness of the sofa but by the fact that he was in a home where he could be himself, and people loved him all the more for it.

Showering the next morning was as wonderful as he anticipated. The bathroom was bright with morning sun reflecting off of white walls. He had taken his coffee into the shower, laughing to himself about how silly he must have looked drinking from a mug while the water washed over him. He kept the shower short out of respect for his hosts, thinking about how long of a shower he could take at Thomas's flat. His grin shrank at the thought of Thomas. He wanted to put him out of his head until he was on the train to London.

Showered and shaved, David put on clothing he hadn't worn since leaving. It was all a little tight across the chest and shoulders, and around the neck. He flexed self-consciously in the mirror, accepting that he had put on a bit more muscle while hiking and climbing out East. He wondered how Thomas would react to his physical change, chastising himself for thinking of Thomas again so soon.

He joined the Bates's on their walk to the main house, carrying JD despite the fact that Anna had brought his carriage. He was worried it might seem presumptuous to show up before breakfast, as though he would be expecting more than one free meal for the day. His worry vanished as Mr. Carson himself opened the back door to welcome him home.

The kitchen staff all dropped what they were doing and ran to David. He bent down for Mrs. Patmore to kiss his cheek, staying bent over as she held his cheeks in her hands to get a good look at him.

"Let me say hello, will ya," Daisy said from over Mrs. Patmore's shoulder.

"There's plenty of David for everyone," Anna teased.

David hugged Daisy, thanking her for the treat she gave Anna. She blushed just as he expected she might.

Miss Baxter stood in the doorway, waiting for everyone to get their hellos out of their system before she took her turn. David accompanied her to the breakfast table, taking a seat on one side of her while Mr. Molesley sat in his regular seat on her other side. David was surprised by the warm reception he received from Mr. Molesley. They had been friendly but not quite friends, David thought, but perhaps now that he was no longer Mr. Molesley's competition they could actually be friends.

David didn't get to eat much of his breakfast during the meal. Everyone had questions about his trips, and when he thought the questions were coming to an end, they began asking about his next trip.

"Nothing planned as of yet," he answered, shoveling in a bite before someone could ask the next question.

"Are you thinking of staying in Downton longer than just a week, then?" Mrs. Hughes asked.

David shook his head as he swallowed his food. "I'll go to London next. Family and all."

"Well," Mrs. Hughes replied, "we're certainly flattered you chose to come here first."

A bell rang on the wall, followed soon after by others, and then the familiar sound of scraping chairs as Mr. Carson dismissed everyone.

David planned to take a walk after breakfast, but it began drizzling during the meal. He sat in the rocking chair Thomas always gravitated towards and pulled out a book and his glasses. He felt guilty reading while everyone worked, but offering to help seemed awkward in its own way. Eventually Anna and Miss Baxter set up their sewing at the servant's table, and David moved from his rocking chair to Thomas's old seat at the table.

"It's been good catching up on some of this work," Anna said as she threaded her machine.

"Need a hand with it?" David asked as he tapped his fingers on the table.

Miss Baxter smiled. "You must be bored if you're offering to help with women's work."

"I've never minded 'women's work'."

"I think he would've been a nanny if society would allow it," Anna added.

David smiled, but the reality of the statement stung a bit. That would have been a perfect job, he thought.

"Did you ever consider being a teacher?" Miss Baxter asked.

David pondered the question. "No, I don't think I ever did."

"It's never too late," Anna said. "Or you could tutor."

"Are you done with illustrating?" Miss Baxter asked.

David shrugged, still tapping the table. "I'm in a little bit of a limbo. Something will come together, I'm just not sure what that something is."

Anna gave David a needle and thread. "I have a dress that needs beads reapplied. I'll go get it for you."

"Thank you," David said with relief. "My hands need something to keep busy."

When Anna was out of hearing range, Miss Baxter asked quietly, "Not to pry, but may I ask why you came to see us before you went to see Thomas?"

David checked the doorways. "I'm a little upset with him at the moment. That's the honest answer."

"Nothing irreparable, I hope," she replied quietly.

David threaded the needle and swallowed. "No. I mean I hope not. I just need to fortify myself a bit before I find out."

Miss Baxter nodded. "Then I'm very glad you came here first. For the good of you both."

"I am, too."

Beading was just the kind of busy work David needed. He felt calm as he performed the almost meditative act of pushing the needle through the fabric, picking up an impossibly tiny bead with the same needle, and pulling the thread back through the fabric. It was repetitive but also required he follow a pattern. Maybe needlework would be the next artform he learned, he thought.

"I can't believe you have to do this every time a garment is laundered," David said as they worked and chatted.

"Can't risk damaging the beads," Anna replied.

"I'm sure, but goodness, you really don't get enough credit for the things you both do."

The two women looked at each other. "I tend to agree with you," Anna said.

"Though our ladies are very appreciative," Miss Baxter added.

"Indeed. We're certainly lucky there."

It would be so simple to fall back into this life, David thought. Right back as if the last year never happened.

David looked up from his work as he heard squeals and stomping little feet on the stairs.

"Who do we have here?" David asked, slipping his glasses off after setting his needle down carefully.

"George and Sybbie!" Master George laughed. "Did you forget us?"

"Forget you?" David said with shock. "Impossible. Did you forget me?"

"Never!" Sybbie answered, followed quickly by, "what did you bring us?"

The adults laughed openly at the child's candor.

"That's not polite," Nanny corrected her.

"But she's not wrong to ask. Of course I have something for each of you."

David went to his rucksack, still next to the rocking chair, and the children followed like little shadows. He knelt by the bag and told the children to close their eyes. He pulled out two pandas similar to the one he gave JD, except one wore a headband and had a purse, and the other had a hat and messenger's bag.

"Open your eyes."

The children began squealing again. George took the bear with the headband and Sybbie took the one in the hat.

David chuckled. "That's not what I predicted but alright."

"This one's like my daddy," Sybbie explained. "That one's like his mommy."

David sucked in a breath. "This is why I love children," he said to the three women looking on.

Anna told David to leave his work in progress and join the nanny and children in the kitchen for their daily visit during JD's morning nap. He saddled up to the kitchen island with the children and quickly took on the task of chopping carrots.

Later he joined Mr. Carson in his office and polished silver while there. Afterwards he chatted with Mr. Molesley in the boot room while shining shoes. Over lunch, Mrs. Hughes remarked, "Why, I think the housemaids are the only ones David hasn't helped yet today."

"There's still time," David replied.

"Did the family visit at all?" Mr. Molesley asked.

"The little ones," David answered.

"I should expect you'll see the rest later today, then," Mr. Molesley replied.

David stirred his stew. "That would be a lovely bonus, but I don't have expectations that they will."

David was right that the family didn't come down to visit. Instead, during teatime, he was invited to the library. He felt even more self conscious than before he found work to do that day.

Lord and Lady Grantham and Tom Branson were home for tea, and Mrs. Crawley was visiting for the afternoon. David looked every bit as nervous as he felt, and Lord Grantham greeted him with a warm handshake that roused him a bit from his worries.

"I've seen all of your illustrations in Lady Edith's magazine," Lady Grandtham told David once they were all seated around the fire. "Impressive work. I felt as if I were there myself."

David's cheeks felt as warm as the fire. "Thank you for saying so, my lady."

"She was so inspired that she changed the theme of some of our guest rooms," Lord Grantham added.

David felt mixed emotions over the information, but only expressed how flattered he was. "I experienced some truly magical places that many people from here would never get a chance to see. That alone was a gift. I saw a lot of hardships, too. Those stories were mostly in other publications, not exactly the kind of upbeat material Lady Edith publishes." He worried his comment sounded like a criticism, but Tom nodded.

"It would be inappropriate to mix that in with fashion and parties," Tom agreed. "I would like to read some of those other stories, though."

"Of course, I will send you copies."

"I would appreciate it, thank you."

"I'd like to read those, too," Mrs. Crawley chimed in, "if you'll share, Tom. You know, David, I have an acquaintance who is very fond of your work."

David put his tea down so that no one would notice his shaking hands. "Is that so?"

Mrs. Crawley nodded. "Yes, well, she knew your parents. Mrs. Jane Manning."

"I haven't seen her in a very long time, other than my father's funeral. She and Mr. Manning are very generous people. Very involved in their community."

"That's probably why you're friends with Mrs. Manning," Tom said to Mrs. Crawley.

"You meet some of the loveliest people through charity work," Mrs. Crawley replied.

My family was some of that charity work, David thought.

Almost as if he had read David's mind, Tom brought the subject back to the articles themselves. "What were some of the things you saw that we wouldn't have read about in society magazines?"

David picked his tea up again. "They're mostly about people who have endured things like disease, natural disasters, political tyranny, exploitation. But the focus wasn't on the tragedy, instead it was on how people push through and survive these kinds of experiences."

"That's something true of people on both sides of the globe," Lord Grantham said. "We're often aware of our differences, but there must be many similarities as well."

Tom looked at Lord Grantham curiously, not expecting that kind of reflection from him.

"I can be modern, too, Tom," Lord Grantham said in response to the look.

The small group all chuckled. "Of course you are, dear," Lady Grantham replied, placing a hand on Lord Grantham's knee. "I think we will all take a turn reading these stories."

David nodded, feeling more comfortable with the conversation. "If there's anything I hope comes out of this, it's that the audience gains a little bit of insight into what other people live through in other places. I know my eyes have been opened."

"What would you say is one experience that stands out among all the others?" Mrs. Crawley asked.

David sipped his tea again, and then relayed the story of the woman looking for her lost dog. "That one's not in writing, though."

"No? Why not?" Lady Grantham asked, her eyes watery after hearing the tale. She accepted Lord Grantham's handkerchief.

"It just seemed too intimate a story to spread in such an impersonal way."

"That makes complete sense to me," Lady Grantham replied.

"More tea, David?" Tom asked as he stood to get more for himself.

David stood as well. "I'll accompany you." Mr. Molesley was gracious while pouring David's tea, making the exchange less uncomfortable for David than it would have been otherwise.

"What are your plans for the rest of your visit?" Tom asked.

"I don't have anything set in stone. I'll most likely take a walk to the village tomorrow, visit the library the next day, maybe a hike the day after that, weather permitting."

Tom looked out the tall library windows. "I heard it may be like this for a few days."

"Hmm, well, I'm happy to just relax and read if that's what this trip comes down to. Or lend a hand downstairs."

"Sounds fun," Tom chuckled. "If you need a diversion, I'm sure Lord Grantham would lend you some books. You're also welcome to join me any day you like. I have to visit some of the tenants this week. I don't promise excitement, but I'd be glad for the company."

David had never spent any real time with Tom unless Lady Mary was present, and that was all related to the horses. Thomas would definitely tease him over it, he thought.

"I don't want to be a bother."

"No bother at all."

David sipped his tea and rocked on his heels. "Perhaps I could join you on the day Lady Mary returns?"

"That's a good idea, I know she wanted to see you as well."

Relief swept over David as Mr. Carson came in to initiate the end of teatime. He didn't feel like he belonged upstairs, and instantly regretted agreeing to tag along with Tom and Lady Mary.

He bid goodbye for now and followed Mr. Molesley downstairs. He joined the staff for their tea as well, overly caffeinated by the end. After tea, he snuck off to the men's dorms under the guise of using the bathroom. His room had belonged to the last footman and was recently empty again. The beds had been rearranged but the room was otherwise the same, save for a crack in the plaster that had grown in length. He gazed out of the window and remembered all of the daydreaming he had done from that spot.

Next, he crossed the hall to Thomas's old room. A footman had the room now, but with so few personal belongings it didn't look much different than when Thomas was its occupant. David stayed in the doorway, not wanting to invade the man's personal space, but he longed to sit on the bed for just a moment.

The floorboards creaked as David made his way to the bathroom, deciding he might as well use it while he was up there. He avoided eye contact with himself in the looking glass, feeling uneasily outside of himself in a place that he once called home but was home no longer. He couldn't have been more welcomed by staff and family, but life had moved on, both in the house and for him. It was a comfort to visit, but no matter how quickly he could have picked up where he left off as far as the work itself, it wouldn't be the same. Nor should it be the same, he thought. This wasn't his path anymore. An important part of his journey, but only that; a part of the whole. He walked past Thomas's old room one more time before leaving the dormitory, then when downstairs to see what he could do next to be helpful.

When the staff began preparing to serve dinner to the family, David asked if he could use the phone in Mr. Carson's office while everyone was otherwise occupied. Mr. Carson said of course, and David's stomach stirred as he shut the office door and approached the phone. He wanted to hear Thomas's voice. He had felt the ghost of Thomas all day, an impression left in the time and space of the house. Thomas was in the servant's hall, the library, the dormitory, even in the kitchen. It felt oddly macabre to feel his presence without him there, and David thought hearing his voice would bring things back to the present. He was angry, yes, but it didn't change how very much in love he was, too.

David requested connection to the number he had memorized long ago, but a voice he didn't recognize was on the other line. They had never heard of a Thomas Barrow. David recited the number and the person on the end confirmed, yes, he had the correct number, but there was no Thomas Barrow. When the brief call ended, David's fingers trembled as he picked up the receiver again. He planned to call Marie, but he would need to sneak Thomas into the conversation, not blatantly ask for his whereabouts and then say goodbye.

David requested the operator connect him to Kait, and after many clicks and buzzes, the phone rang on the other end. Again, the person who answered hadn't heard of a Kait Christian. The shop was surely closed by this hour, and David couldn't think of anyone else to call except for Teddy and Eric.

He called and asked for Eric, and cursed to himself when he learned that Eric was unavailable. To his dismay, Teddy was able to come to the phone.

"My, my, my," Teddy said without a 'hello'. "I see the cat dragged you in from your expedition."

"I'm back, yes," David said with a measured tone.

"And why, pray tell, do I have the pleasure of this phone call?"

David closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you know if Thomas changed his number or something? I rang and someone else picked up the line."

Teddy was quiet, and David could practically hear the smile on Teddy's lips when he answered. "He didn't tell you? He moved. He and Kait are living together now."

David's chin quivered but his voice didn't falter. "Ah. Well, I'm seeing him soon enough, he was probably waiting to tell me then."

"Soon, eh? Not too soon. I heard you're visiting your old employer before you visit the man you supposedly love with all your heart and soul."

There was a hint of a growl in David's reply. "I'm visiting friends before I come home to stay, and you know there's nothing 'supposed' about my feelings."

Teddy's reply contained less of a smile. "Home to stay, you say?"

"That's right. To stay with both Thomas and Kait, it seems."

"So strange, you'd think he would have included you in that kind of decision."

I would think that, yes, David thought. "He can live wherever he likes. No matter where it is, his bed will still be big enough for the both of us."

"The both of us? Me and you?"

"Oh, bugger off," David replied, wishing instantly he hadn't given Teddy the satisfaction of hearing his frustration.

Teddy laughed into the receiver. "I'm sure the three of us could fit, no?"

"Do you have his number or not?"

Teddy sighed audibly. "Yes, yes. Do you have a pen?"

"I do."

Teddy recited Thomas's number, and as soon as David had it on paper, he hung up without another word.

David had been pacing, and he sat down and breathed slowly for a minute before requesting the operator connect him to Thomas. He expected Kait would answer, given his luck so far reaching Thomas, but it wasn't Kait who picked up after just two rings.

"Barrow Christian residence."

David smiled, tears instantly running down his cheeks. "The man of the house, please."

The pause was so long David wondered if they had been disconnected.

"David?"

"Hello, Thomas."

"Where are you?"

"Downton."

"I'd heard that, actually."

David wiped his eyes. "I should've told you."

"No, you didn't have to. You're allowed to do whatever you want after… after, you know."

"I know. Still."

There was a pause again, and David pressed the receiver against his ear as he listened to Thomas's breathing.

"I didn't think I'd hear from you while you're up there."

"I really needed to hear your voice," David said, eyes still closed.

"I've really needed to hear yours, too."

Silence again.

"Your voice is as lovely as ever," David said softly.

"David… do you forgive me?"

David wrapped the phone cord around his index finger. "Let's not do that now, alright? Not over the phone."

"Then why did you call?"

"Like I said, I needed to hear your voice."

"Then let me ask this, at least. Do you still love me?"

"That's a very silly question."

"Do you still want to be with me?"

David sighed. "Please, Thomas. I get it, I do, but we can hash everything out in person. Can we just trade 'I love yous' right now while we have each other on the line?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

There was one last, long silence.

"I'll be there in a few days."

"Will I hear from you again before then?"

"I don't know. I should go, I'm in Mr. Carson's office and I don't want to overstay my welcome."

"Right. Sure. Goodbye?"

"Goodbye," David said, hanging up before his lips could work faster than his brain and start saying all the things his heart was screaming. He stayed in Mr. Carson's office until he was sure his face was back to its proper color and his cheeks were dry.

After dinner was served, and the servants had their supper, David escorted Anna and JD back to their cottage. As soon as he was sure no one was in hearing range, everything Thomas-related spilled from his lips like water through a burst dam. While his voice was animated, he looked absolutely exhausted, and Anne stopped walking to give him a hug.

"So do you? Do you forgive him?"

"No," David said, responding from his heart. "Not yet. I'm sure I can. I hope I can. I'm sure I can. But he doesn't trust me, how do I forgive him for that?"

"I don't think it's that simple," Anna said as they resumed their walk. "Thomas has a very hard time trusting anyone. I would if I lived the life he's lived. Trusting people is something I've seen him work on for years, and he's made huge progress, especially because of you. I'm sure he still has miles to go, but don't punish him for it. I'm sure if anyone is upset over his behavior, it's him."

David absorbed Anna's words, but hurt and anger still won out. "Yes, I'm sure he feels badly, but that isn't the point. I don't want to live in fear that he'll question our relationship again and… do what he did. Or worse."

"Well, that's where trust comes in, David."

"I'm working on trusting people, too. He's not the only one."

"Don't get cross, I'm only trying to help."

"I'm sorry," David replied. "I'm not cross with you. I don't think I could ever be cross with you."

JD began snoring in the carriage, and Anna and David both smiled.

"Why don't I push the rest of the way?" David suggested.

Anna handed over the handlebar. "If you insist. It'll get better, David."

"Thank you. I'm sure it will."

The rain increased with each passing day. David took it as a sign to stay at Anna's instead of heading into town or up to the house. He read with some of his time and worked on his children's book and other personal projects that had been on the back burner with the rest. Mr. Carson insisted David come for supper each night, but otherwise, David kept to himself. It was too enticing, being with the other servants, and he worried he would work each day until eventually he accepted the position of footman and stayed there indefinitely.

On the last day, Lady Mary arrived quite early, even before breakfast. She joined her father and Tom in the dining room, and suppressed signs of her enthusiasm when she heard that David would accompany her and Tom for the day.

After breakfast, Lady Mary waited out front for Tom to bring a car around. As handsome as ever, she thought to herself as David approached in the distance. It was only sprinkling, but he had an umbrella under his arm in case Lady Mary needed one while they were out and about.

Lady Mary had enough of a head start to reduce her smile to a demure grin by the time David reached her. While she had no plans of becoming the next Sybil, perhaps in her younger days she would have entertained at least a little fling with David while he visited. Oh well, she thought. At least I can enjoy his company for a few hours.

David accepted a kiss on the cheek upon greeting Lady Mary, and received another handshake from Tom. He opened the car door for Lady Mary, something he had done so many times for her as an employee. He felt like he should head into the house as she drove off, rather than climbing in back to join her on the journey. He smiled to himself as he got in the car. He had been in the back of it before, except he sat on Thomas that time rather than the seat.

The drive was the first time since leaving that David had really seen the estate. It was just as breathtaking as ever, and David's very favorite feature - the fog - began rolling in just as they rolled out of the driveway.

Though they had a car, the day consisted of much walking. Several farms were off the driveable road, and the three walked the distance from road to farm with each visit. He recognized a number of the farmers and their employees and families. All greetings were welcoming, all wishes were well, all faces were smiles.

During all of their walking, the trio chatted.

"It's funny," Lady Mary said as they walked the perimeter of a wheat field. "I'm seeing you today, and I saw our other former servant just the other day."

"Oh? Who?" Tom asked.

Don't say it, David thought.

"Barrow."

Tom smiled. "What's Thomas up to these days?"

"Painting the town red, it seems. I bumped into him at quite a posh party."

"As a guest?"

"As a guest, yes. He must have made some friends in high places since leaving our employ."

"That sounds like him," Tom chuckled.

"You're quiet, David," Lady Mary observed. "I thought you two were friendly."

"We are, m'Lady," David replied. "I'm sure I'll see him in London."

They walked in silence a bit longer, and David's curiosity ate away at him. "I know some of Thomas's friends. Do you know who brought him to the party?"

Lady Mary nodded. "Yes, I think so. Oh, it was that photographer friend of his. The little jazzy one."

David smiled. "Kait, yes. I know her."

"And she's friends with the writer, right?" Tom asked. "Wait, haven't you worked with him for Edith, David?"

Please don't make these connections, David thought. "Mmm, yes. We worked together some."

"You must have met him when he visited," Tom said.

David paused as if he were trying to recall. "Oh, you're right. So I did. I met several of Lady Edith's employees at Downton, I've kind of forgotten which ones."

Lady Mary eyed David. "Is it a circle of friends? The writer, the photographer, Thomas, you? You can tell us. You don't need to be dodgy."

"Not really a circle, my Lady, no," he answered carefully. "They're Thomas's friend. I'm Thomas's friend. That's about the size of it."

"Gosh, you former servants keep things so close to the chest. Edith went off with Barrow at one point to discuss something private. I think the circle of friends might reach to her, too."

"And what if they are friends?" Tom asked. "You and I are friends now, aren't we?"

"I'm not judging, goodness, Tom."

David shrugged. "Perhaps it expands to her these days. I suppose I'll find out soon enough."

A little worm of jealousy made Lady Mary prickle. She looked at David directly. "Do you think you and I could be friends?"

Tom and David both looked quickly at Lady Mary and her seemingly unruffled smile.

"I would be lucky if I could call you my friend, my Lady."

"Then you can stop calling me 'my Lady'," Lady Mary said with a tip of her head. "I assume you don't call Edith 'Lady' at work."

David tried to hide his discomfort. "More often than not I actually do."

"Oh. Well. No matter. I don't need my friends to use my title."

David and Tom exchanged glances.

"Would you join us for tea again, David?" Tom asked.

David shook his head. "Thank you, but I'll need to go back to the Bates's and get dressed before the servants supper. My last before I head out tomorrow."

Lady Mary furrowed her brow. "There's hours between the two. Certainly you can stop in for tea. Papa and mama aren't even in, it's just me and Tom."

That's even more awkward for me, David thought. "As you wish, m'L...Mary."

"That's more like it."

"Mary if he can't, it's alright."

"He said he will, Tom."

Lady Mary seemed to David like a petulant child who wanted her toy, and he was the toy. He realized that it was competition with Lady Edith that made Lady Mary push along what was already a naturally progressing friendship. He understood what it felt like to envy a younger sibling and decided not to let Lady Mary's behavior turn him away.

"I'd enjoy tea, thank you. I hadn't considered how much time there was between events."

Lady Mary gave Tom a look that said 'See?'.

Tea was convivial, and David was glad he accepted the invitation. With the word 'friendship' out in the open, Lady Mary relaxed during tea as much as she was capable of relaxing. At the end, she informed David when she planned to be in London next. He promised to be in touch. Tea ended with another kiss on his cheek.

David was torn whether to leave for the Bates's through the front where he arrived, or through the back where he felt he belonged. He settled on walking through the front doors to avoid the bombardment of questions about the day he was bound to endure. Those could wait until supper.

A quick nap seemed necessary, and David snoozed on the sofa, his travel clock set for half an hour later. He dreamed of his alarm not going off, of missing supper and disappointing his friends among the staff. The dream awoke him moments before the clock was set to go off. He slapped it shut and groaned as he rolled off of the sofa.

He dressed and packed his things so he wouldn't have to worry about it later. He planned to head to bed early, and spend a little time in the village the following morning before his departure, as it was expected to be the first day without a single drop of rain. The walk to the house felt longer that evening.

Supper was pleasant, but David felt distracted. He was ready to leave and address things head-on with Thomas. A week there showed him that Downton was boring without Thomas, no matter how busy he was or how high up his friendships might be.

The walk through the village felt empty. Lady Mary's comment about seeing Thomas at a posh party had gotten to him during the night. Maybe it was Teddy's party, maybe not, but he had nightmares of Teddy and Thomas tucked away in a corner of the party. Away from prying eyes, including Eric's. He wouldn't, David thought. Or maybe he already did.

Sapped of energy, he made his way to the train hours earlier than necessary. Sitting on a wooden bench, he doodled passers-by half-heartedly while he waited. When the train whistle he heard was finally for him, he looked back at the village over the horizon. He would miss his friends, but his place was elsewhere. He boarded the train and thought 'next stop: Thomas Barrow."

Thomas paced the platform, looking down the track every time he heard a distant noise. Steam still dissipated from the last train that pulled through, hanging in the air around him, made thicker by the cigarettes he chain-smoked while he waited. He realized David may not appreciate the smell of cigarettes and purchased gum inside the station. Maybe David wouldn't even get close enough for it to matter, he thought as he chewed the gum and returned to pacing.

At 4:06 the high-pitched song of wheels on the track reached his ears. His stomach turned itself in knots, but he kept steady on the outside. The train squealed and hissed to a stop and a new plume of steam filled the air. Thomas's eyes darted, scanning the disembarking throng of passengers.

Finally, his eyes landed on a familiar figure emerging from the steam. The brim of David's hat kept his eyes in shadow. The well-traveled canvas rucksack on his back looked heavy, but didn't seem to burden David, whose shoulders had grown obviously more robust under its weight. His dress shirt looked a bit tight, as did his collar. I'll help him buy some new clothes if he'll let me, Thomas thought.

David hadn't located Thomas yet, and his eyes were still hidden under his hat. Thomas clenched and unclenched his fists, not sure what else to do with himself while he waited for David to look up. He finally called out David's name once he was close enough to hear it.

David stopped in his tracks about ten yards from Thomas and finally looked up. He paused for only a moment before crossing the distance, his eyes locked on Thomas's as he approached.

He stopped again three paces from Thomas. He didn't smile, he didn't reach out for a hug. He simply took deep, slow breaths, and waited for Thomas to speak first.

Thomas broke eye contact, feeling weak under David's staring emerald eyes. He looked at the ground, as though the right words were down there for him to read aloud.

"I'm so sorry-"

"No," David interrupted, his voice cracking, but not his expression. "Let's go back to your place."

"Can I help you with your bag?"

David squeezed his shoulder straps. ""I've got it."

Thomas nodded.

They stared at one another a little longer, each experiencing a wide range of emotions as strangers snaked around them, trying to reach their own destinations.

"I'll get us a ride," Thomas said with a forced, crooked smile.

He hailed a taxi and opened the door for David. David removed his bag and let Thomas put it in the back before he climbed in himself.

Thomas gave the driver the address. As they sat quietly, Thomas could smell David's shaving foam. He knew that smell well. He'd kept a jar of it to remind him of David, and smelling it now made his heart ache even more than it already did. He looked at David.

"You look well."

David gazed out of the window as the city whizzed by. "You, too."

"Looks like you're testing the strength of your shirt's stitching."

David looked down at the buttons straining to stay closed across his chest. "I didn't have much need for my dress clothes. Didn't realize 'til Downton that they don't fit anymore."

"We can get you shirts that'll fit."

David nodded. "Yes, we have that power."

"Would you look at me?" Thomas whispered.

David turned his head quickly, meeting Thomas's eyes. "How long 'til we're there?"

"Seven minutes, maybe ten."

David looked away again. "Can I just look out the window for the next seven to ten minutes, then?"

Thomas let out a deep breath. "Of course."

"Thank you."

The silence was difficult for Thomas to bear. He looked over at David now and then, wanting desperately to reach across the seat and hold his hand. He had envisioned their reunion so many times, with kissing and hugging, smiles so wide their faces hurt, in each others arms at last. If Thomas hadn't have sent his telegram, he would have had that kind of reunion, but it wouldn't have been honest. He still didn't regret telling David ahead of his arrival.

When they reached Thomas's new building, David looked up at it while Thomas paid the driver.

"It looks nice," David observed casually.

"It is. Let me show you inside."

David followed Thomas up the winding stairs to the third floor.

"Kait's not home, by the way," Thomas told him. "She's given us some privacy for the night."

"Very charitable of her."

"Is that sarcasm?" Thomas asked as they reached the third floor.

David shrugged. "From me? Couldn't be."

Thomas wanted to kiss the small smile David gave him, the first sign of hope he'd had that late afternoon. Instead, he unlocked the door and held it open for David.

David entered slowly, his eyes scanning the flat from floor to ceiling. Thomas and Kait had blended their belongings nicely in the short time they'd been there. It looked like they had been there forever.

"Which one's your room?" David asked after he took in his surroundings.

"The door furthest on the right."

David let himself into the bedroom. He removed his pack and set it on Thomas's reading chair. He eyes went to the pictures posted on the wall by Thomas's bedside. His emotions, coupled with his exhaustion, made him want to simultaneously rip the sentimental pictures and drawings off the wall, and also pull Thomas to the bed and climb on top of him. Instead, he stood silently and stared.

"Can I make you something to eat? A cup of tea?" Thomas asked from the doorway.

David shook his head. "I'm too tired to eat. Maybe just a glass of water."

Thomas left and returned with water. He placed the glass on the bedside table so David wouldn't have to touch his hand to take it. "Bathroom's the next door over if you need it."

David was close enough to Thomas to smell his cologne. He wanted to sink his lips into Thomas's neck. But, maybe, also his teeth. "Sure. Thank you."

Thomas turned to leave, but David called him back.

"I'm exhausted. I think I need some sleep."

"The bed's all yours, take a nap," Thomas replied.

David removed his hat and jacket and placed them on Thomas's bureau. "Would you - will you lay with me while I fall asleep?"

Thomas's heart leapt into his throat. He nodded his head eagerly. "Of course, of course." He put his hat and jacket with David's and waited for David to lay down first. They both laid flat on their backs, looking up at the high ceiling.

"I haven't been in a bed this comfortable since… well, this bed," David told Thomas.

"The quilt is new."

"I like it."

"Thank you."

Thomas was startled as he suddenly felt David's hand on his. He looked over at David, but David's eyes were still on the ceiling, even as their fingers entwined.

"See anything good up there?" Thomas asked.

David let his cheek rest on the pillow, meeting Thomas's eyes. "Tell me you love me."

Thomas inched closer to David. "I love you. With all of my heart, I love you."

"Now tell me you're sorry."

Thomas's eyes burned as tears sprung to them. "I'm so, so sorry David. I'm so sorry."

David's eyes felt heavy and he struggled to keep them open. "I love you, too. I accept your apology. And I'm sorry I haven't been here for you."

"Don't be. You're here now."

David closed his eyes and relaxed. He was out of words and out of energy. He closed the space between them and put his head on Thomas's chest, falling asleep quickly to the rhythm of Thomas's heartbeat.

When Thomas was certain he heard the rhythmic breathing of sleep from David, he let himself cry silently, petting David's hair with one hand as he wiped his eyes with the other. Worried his sobbing would shake the bed and wake David, he tried to swallow the sobs, but they only built up and made his chest shake even more.

David woke slowly, rising up on his elbow when he realized he wasn't dreaming. "Oh, Thomas," he sighed sympathetically, wiping Thomas's tears with his thumb. "I accepted your apology. I apologized, too."

Thomas's weeping was no longer silent. He gasped and sniffled as he looked up at David through his tears. "I'm still scared."

"Scared? Of what?"

The words came out between gasps. "That you're done with me."

David shook his head rapidly.

"What if you are?"

"I'm not. I'm not," David repeated, kissing Thomas's cheekbone. "I'm not," he said again, kissing the other cheek.

"I failed you."

David kissed Thomas's forehead. "Please, let's let it lie."

"Just like that?"

David smiled down at Thomas. "'Just like that'? Are you serious? My darling, you've clearly been torturing yourself. I can't sit here and pile on top of it. I may be upset, or sad, or whatever, but I'm not cruel."

Thomas held David's face, searching his eyes for confirmation that what he said was true, that he was willing to let it lie. To move on.

"It was a single transgression," David said, responding to the pleading look in Thomas's eyes. "I mean, right?"

"Yes, right."

David lowered his forehead to Thomas's. "Right, then."

"Can I kiss you?"

David lowered his lips until they grazed Thomas's.

Thomas cradled David's face in his hands, sighing quietly as their lips connected. They kissed sweetly and slowly, stopping here and there to look in each others eyes.

Thomas wondered if David would ever inquire further about what transpired. The who, the what, the when. Or was it really over, was he truly letting it lie. Thomas wanted to tell every bit of the truth, have it all out in the open, but that clearly wasn't what David wanted. Perhaps the details would just be too hurtful, Thomas thought.

As Thomas's hands began sliding down David's back, David sat up on his elbows and shook his head. "Just kissing today. Is that alright?"

Thomas's lip quivered a little, but he nodded. "Did you want to go back to sleep?"

"No. I want to kiss you until my lips are numb. Then I want to have a snack, go shopping for some new clothes, and take you out to dinner."

Thomas grinned and held David's face again. "That sounds like the perfect evening."

David kissed Thomas again, parting his lips, kissing him more sensually this time. Thomas kept his hands above the waist, but couldn't help moaning a little when he felt David's hardness against his hip. There will be plenty of time for that, Thomas told himself.

"I made you something," Thomas whispered between kisses.

"Oh? What did you make for me?"

"A cake."

David laughed and licked Thomas's lower lip. "I bet it's delicious, but not as tasty as you."

"Hey now, don't write cheques those lips aren't willing to cash."

"You'll cash them in, don't worry."

"Would you like some?"

David sat up and stretched. "Mmm, alright. I could stay right here til morning, but we should probably get a move on."

"Is my face still red from blubbering?"

"No," David replied, rising slowly from the bed. "It's red from smooching."

"Ha, 'smooching'," Thomas replied as he let David help him to his feet. "Makes it sound like we're some teenagers or something."

"What should I say instead?"

"Kissing. Most people say kissing."

"I mean it's more than just kissing."

"Cuddling, then? I don't know, David. Smooching just sounds so silly."

David was reminded of a song. He took Thomas in his arms and started singing in a high-pitched, dramatic voice as he lead Thomas in a dance. "_Cuddle up, my bunch of joy. Cuddle up, caress me, press me_."

"You've gone batty," Thomas laughed as he put his cheek against David's.

"_Oh, my darling beau, I want to show I love you so, and if you want to know just how I love you, dear, come and cuddle up now_."

"Are you done?" Thomas asked, though they still danced cheek-to-cheek.

"_Peachy, peachy, turtle dove, teach me, teach me how to love. Tell me that you're glad you found me, oh, my loveable boy_."

Thomas kissed David, interrupting the lyrics momentarily.

David looked into Thomas's eyes, singing the rest without the humorous voice. "_Meet me, greet me with a kiss. Sweety, treat me to some bliss. Throw your great big arms around me, til I holler for joy_."

"Til you holler, hmm?" Thomas asked, pulling David closer, spinning with him until they both laughed.

"Kait's not coming home tonight, right?" David asked.

"That's right."

"Well, then, perhaps there could be some hollering in our future."

"Darling, you torment me," Thomas said into David's ear.

"Gimme some of that cake now."

"One last kiss."

They stopped twirling but stood in the same stance, one arm around the other's back, hand in hand with the other. David closed his eyes and waited for his kiss. Thomas gazed down at David's expectant expression and smiled. He realized his cheeks stung just the smallest bit from smiling and laughing. Of all the things he longed for while David was gone, he thought perhaps laughing together was what he missed most of all. "How I adore you," he whispered before he closed his eyes and kissed David deeply.

Thomas led David to the kitchen by the hand and motioned for him to take a seat.

"Are you having some, too?"

"I'll take a bite of yours."

"The hell you will."

Thomas pointed the cake cutter at David. "Be a good lad or there's no cake for you."

"Are you threatening me with a pie server?"

"It's a cake server."

"Oh, I said the wrong utensil. Sorry, Mr. Barrow."

"I'm warning you."

"Do you think a cake server gives a good spanking?"

Thomas cut the cake, a four layer chocolate tower he had practiced twice before David's return.

David clapped as the piece was served. "I don't need a fork, don't worry. I'm going in face first."

Thomas retrieved two forks and sat across from David. "I just want one bite."

David pulled the plate to his edge of the table and guarded it with a hand. "I'm armed now and I'm not afraid to fork you."

"I'm not afraid of a forking."

David held the fork towards Thomas.

"How're you going to eat it when you're on guard like that?"

David lowered his face to the plate and took a bite.

"Oh, come on!"

David laughed, frosting in his teeth and on his lips. "Alright, you can have a bite."

"No, thank you. I'll get my own now."

David wiped his lips. "You missed me," he said, taking a proper bite with his fork.

"Even this nonsense, yes, I did."

Thomas served himself a sliver of the cake and fetched two glasses of water while he was up. Over their snack, they chatted just as they would have in the past. David summarized his Downton trip, Thomas told him more about setting up house with Kait and what drove him to the decision. David told Thomas about some of the sites he saw, Thomas told David about some of the things he had been making at the shop. By the time they were finished, it was already getting dark.

"Shops'll be open if you're still up for going out," Thomas said as he took their plates to the sink.

"Yes, let's. I'm tired of feeling like I'm being strangled by my shirts."

"How are your trousers fitting?"

"Tighter when I'm with you."

Thomas shook his head. "I hate to admit I missed that kind of talk, too."

David pushed away an intrusive image of Thomas making another man's trousers tighter as they kissed. "That was really fantastic, by the way. The cake. In case I didn't say it out loud."

"You didn't, but I could tell you thought it. You made borderline sexual sounds when you ate."

"Nothing borderline about it."

"You know, it's a bit of a blow to my self esteem if a little cake can make you…"

"Cum?"

Thomas dropped the forks into the sink with a clang and looked over his shoulder at David. "Look at that proud smirk on your face."

"Cum," David mouthed silently.

"You and Kait really do have so much in common."

David laughed, surprised. "Can she be as crass I am?"

"Just about."

"No wonder you're so fond of her."

Once they were dressed and ready, Thomas took David to one of his preferred shops for shirts and suits. David was more than happy to let Thomas do all the selecting and styling since he was technically the professional when it came to dressing a man. Plus, it simply felt good to have Thomas do something like that for him.

Thomas was all business, holding garments up to David as he inspected them, talking more to the tailor about what David needed rather than to David himself. When asked, David raised his arms, turned, spread his legs, all of the uncomfortable things one needed to do when getting fitted. When a shirt finally earned Thomas's blessing for David to try on, David undressed his torso down to his undershirt. He glanced at Thomas over his shoulder in the triptych mirror. Thomas took in every bit of skin he could before David put on the new shirt. It fit perfectly with the exception of the waist, which needed to be taken in just a bit. When David took off the shirt to try on the next, his side was exposed as he raised his arms and Thomas caught sight of a large, purple and yellow bruise.

"What was that?" Thomas asked, pointing.

"Oh, that. You should've seen it weeks ago. This is much improved."

"What happened?" Thomas asked with a level of concern that made the tailor look up from his task.

"Just a little on the job injury, pay it no mind. I like this shirt, too."

Thomas handed David a jacket to try on over the shirt. "Have you had a doctor look at it?"

"Medic looked at it before I came home."

"Sure, fine, but has an English doctor looked at it?"

David tsk'd Thomas in the mirror. "Rude."

"I'm not being bigoted, I think you could just use a more advanced professional opinion. What if you have broken ribs?"

David undid his trousers to try on the rest of the suit. "Nothing you can really do for broken ribs, you know that."

"What if you have an internal injury?"

"Think I'd know by now, worrywart."

The tailor helped David into the trousers. "Are you brothers or something?"

"Or something," David said, fastening the trousers himself. "I like this suit."

"The waist'll need to come in on these, too," the tailor commented.

David chuckled. "I need bigger trousers to accomodate my rear end. It's alright. I know."

"It's all muscle, though," Thomas said, then realized how the observation might sound to the tailor. "He takes after our mother that way."

"She's a robust woman," David added.

"Ah, well," the tailor said quickly, ready for the conversation to end. "Is there anything else you'd like to try on?"

Thomas answered for David. "Yes, come and I'll show you. You wait here, David."

David stood still and lifeless like a mannequin. "Yes, sir."

By the end of their visit to the shop, David selected four shirts and two suits. When he reached into his jacket for his billfold, Thomas stopped him. "This is on me. Happy birthday."

"It's nowhere near my birthday."

"Well, I didn't see you for the last one."

David put his money away slowly, studying Thomas incredulously. "Awfully generous birthday present."

"I'm a generous man. So, when can we pick it all up?"

"Saturday," the tailor replied as he handed Thomas a receipt.

"Wonderful, thank you so much."

"Yes, thank you," David said, still bewildered by the gift.

Thomas whistled cheerfully as they left the store. "Hungry enough yet for dinner?"

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Drop so much money on clothes for me?"

Thomas patted David on the back. "Dressing you is a treat for me, that's all."

David stuffed his hands into his pockets and decided not to push the matter further. "I could eat."

"Brilliant. There's a new place I wanted you to try."

Thomas brought David to a small but elegant restaurant. When he looked through the large front window, David worried they wouldn't be able to get a table, but the host recognized Thomas and let them to a quiet table in the back."

"He knows Kait," Thomas explained.

"That girl's a treat even when she isn't around."

Thomas looked up from his menu. "Are you being sarcastic?"

David sipped his water. "No, sorry if it came off that way. I've just come down from all that sugar and I'm ready for something more substantial. You know what?" David continued, pushing his menu to the edge of the table. "You know what's good here, why don't you order for us both?"

"Really?"

"I'll eat whatever you put in front of me, trust me."

"Well I don't doubt that."

"Drinks, too."

Thomas raised his eyebrows. "I'm choosing it all?"

David sat back in his chair and adjusted the napkin on his lap. "Mmm hmm. One Thomas Barrow special, please."

"I dressed you, now I have to feed you, too?"

David gave Thomas a devilish smile. "Yes. I want you to take care of all my needs."

"Cheeky," Thomas said, returning his attention to the menu.

David enjoyed listening to Thomas place their orders, reciting every wine pairing he wanted for each course. When Thomas excused himself to go wash his hands, David flagged down the waiter.

"When the bill comes," David said in a hushed voice, "give it straight to me. Don't let my friend pay for it under any circumstances."

The waiter nodded cheerfully and walked off quickly before Thomas returned.

Thomas came back with a pack of matches that advertised the restaurant's name and address. He struck a match and lit the cigarette already between his lips, shook the match quickly to put it out, and placed it in the crystal ashtray on their table.

"There's something nostalgic about using a match," Thomas said after he exhaled.

"Oh, I meant to tell you. I saw someone use a clever little lighter on the train. It had a watch built into the front of it."

Thomas took another drag. "I saw one like that in a catalog before, but not in person."

"Might be a nice addition to the shop, you know? For the man who has it all."

Thomas smiled. "Thinking about the shop, are you?"

David shrugged. "I do, time to time. May I ask you something?"

"Always."

"We'll be drinking tonight, and I haven't drunk much in some time."

"Right…"

"Right, so, I'm just going to say this so it's out there and I don't have to worry about it. Thomas, I don't want to know any details about what...transpired. I don't want to put a damper on this evening, just...if tipsy me asks for any information, tell him that sane, sober me said 'no'. Please. Can you do that for me?"

Thomas tapped his heel on the ground. "I don't know what I thought you were going to say, but it wasn't that."

"I know, I'm sure it seems like it came out of nowhere, but it's been running through my mind."

Thomas took a long drag and exhaled entirely before responding. "Yes. I can do that."

"Thank you."

"May I ask something now?"

"Of course."

Thomas tapped ash into the ashtray. "Wouldn't it be better to just tell you? It feels like I'm keeping a secret."

"Because you are. But I'm asking you to."

Thomas sighed and nodded.

"Is it bothering you not to tell me?"

"Yes, absolutely. It's eating me up if I'm being honest, but that's my problem, not yours."

David squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and then opened them. "Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Just tell me. Tell me before I change my mind."

"David-"

"I'm telling you to, so tell me."

"You literally just told me the complete opposite."

"Forget that and tell me."

Thomas snuffed out the cigarette. He knew David would regret asking once the information was out in the open, but he wanted so badly to tell him that he gave in. "It was a man I will never, ever see again and it was just kissing, just for a very short while. I realized pretty quickly how much of a mistake I made and called it off before it went further."

"Who was he?" David asked, the words running together.

Thomas laughed, causing David to scowl. "I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at me."

"I don't see how this is laughable for either of us."

Thomas sighed. Despite the public setting, he reached across the table and patted David's hand. Looking him straight in the eye, he said, "It was a traveling circus performer."

David's face screwed up in an expression of both horror and hilarity. "Shut up, you're teasing."

"Afraid not," Thomas said, taking back his hand.

"Like a lion tamer?"

"No. A strong man."

David covered his mouth with his hand as he laughed. One small tear rolled down his cheek, of sadness but also amusement. "Like a man who lifts weights?"

"Feats of strength, I think they called it."

David drank a gulp of water and pulled out his handkerchief to dab his eyes. "Well I'm thankful I put muscle on before I saw you, now that I know your type."

"I deserved that."

"The strong man! I mean...I would have gone for the sword-swallower, personally."

Thomas put up his hands in mock defeat. "I always said you're smarter than I am."

"The strong man," David repeated, laughing lightly. "All of this because you were drawn to some sideshow. Lord almighty, Thomas."

The first course was delivered along with their first glasses of wine. David felt as if he was in some alternate reality, or perhaps he was still asleep on Thomas's chest and dreamed the whole thing. He had tried very hard not to guess who it might have been, but in the back of his mind worried it may have been Teddy or Eric. Or maybe both. He was relieved to hear it was no one he would ever meet, but knowing even the smallest details still hurt his heart. He washed the ache down with good food and wine, not surprised in the least that Thomas paired them perfectly.

He was quiet through the first course, and Thomas didn't try to break the silence, letting David have the moment he clearly needed.

"That was superb," David told the waiter as he cleared their first round of plates. "Thanks to you," he said to Thomas once the waiter walked away.

"Pleased to hear you enjoyed it."

David caught sight of the host lighting a man's cigar on the other side of the restaurant. "Think I could get one of those, too?"

Thomas turned and followed David's gaze. "I'll ask. Back in a jiff." He returned only a few minutes later with a cigar, and the host approached soon afterward to cut it. "I have matches, thank you," Thomas told the host.

David leaned towards Thomas, cigar between his lips and fingers, and inhaled as Thomas held a lit match to the end of the cigar.

"It's not fair," Thomas said as he put out the match.

"Oh, did you want a cigar?"

"No," Thomas said, putting his napkin back across his lap. "I want to be that cigar."

David smiled as he blew smoke away from Thomas. "Easy now, we only just finished the first course."

"Are you saying there's a chance you'll be my final course tonight?"

David grinned ear to ear. "A very, very good chance, yes."

"You have no idea how happy that makes me."

"Oh I have a bit of an idea, my dear."

David kept conversation somewhat light as the meal progressed. He knew his mind would probably race in the middle of the night imagining Thomas with the man from the circus, but he forced himself to stay in the present while they enjoyed their dinner.

Thomas told David about his flight on Teddy's airplane, and about the desolate but beautiful little island they visited. "I'd love for you to see it sometime."

"Sadly that would require that I spend time with Teddy."

"Absence hasn't made the heart grow fonder, I see."

David traced the silhouette of his wine glass with his finger. "No, certainly not. Did he- nevermind."

Thomas had a feeling he knew where the question was leading.

"...did he try anything with you after I left?"

"He's Ted," Thomas said with a chuckle, "he tries with everyone."

"Eric can be that way but I bet he kept his hands to himself."

Thomas tapped his cigarette on the ashtray. "He will always try with me, and he will never succeed. He was like that when I met him and I don't expect it to change. You can't expect it to, either."

"Maybe you shouldn't spend so much time with him, then."

"Christ, David."

"You brought him up, not me."

"Yes, to tell you about a place that made me think of you."

David finished his glass of wine. "I know."

"Then can we move on?"

"Sure," David replied as their final course arrived. "This has been a delightful dinner, Thomas. Thank you for suggesting it, and for making sure it was delicious start to finish."

Thomas was still miffed, but caught off guard enough by the compliment to feel flattered. "You needn't thank me, but you're welcome."

"And thank you again for the clothing. It was a very generous gesture."

Thomas cleared his throat and straightened in his chair. "You're welcome for that, too."

"Do you want a cocktail or something?"

"I've had quite enough to drink this evening, thanks just the same."

David took a bite of his sorbet and moaned. "God that's good. You're probably right, I haven't tried standing just yet. Hopefully the room doesn't spin."

"If it does, I can always carry you home."

"Even up the stairs?"

"Of course."

"Like a strong man?"

"David-"

"I'm teasing!"

Thomas took a bite and let the cold dessert calm him. "I'll never live it down."

"Not ever."

When the bill came, Thomas furrowed his brow when it was handed straight to David.

"That was presumptuous," he said as the waiter walked away. "Don't even look at the total, give it here."

David clutched the check to his chest. "No you don't. My treat."

Thomas reached for the check. "It could be even pricier than what I bought you earlier."

David peeked down at the check and then back at Thomas. "It's not."

"It is, isn't it!"

David removed his billfold and counted it under the table. He waved to the waiter and handed the cash over discreetly. "I don't need anything back."

"Thank you very much, sir. I hope you both enjoy the rest of your evening."

"We will!" David replied brightly.

"Little devil," Thomas said when the waiter walked away.

"Let's go home and sin some more."

The streets were still busy and David was able to walk close enough to Thomas to use him for balance when needed.

"Just the smallest bit squiffy, eh," Thomas teased when David tripped over nothing in particular.

"A tad," David replied, leaning against Thomas. "It's nice, though, when I'm with you. I feel safe. Barely drank when we were apart."

"Glad to hear it or I may have lost you down some rock face or embankment."

They reached the flat and David admired the ivy as Thomas unlocked the door. "Come on, you. Three sets of stairs to get up."

"Can I crawl up them?"

Thomas ignored the question and led David in by the elbow, then up the stairs the same way.

David hugged Thomas from behind as Thomas unlocked the door to the flat. "Love you," he mumbled into Thomas's back. He stayed attached to Thomas as they passed the threshold and Thomas locked the door behind them.

"Oh right, cake!" David declared, separating himself from Thomas before running to the kitchen.

"Sure, now you can run perfectly straight when you couldn't even get up the stairs. And you just ate an enormous meal!"

David already had a fork in the cake before Thomas made it into the kitchen. "Ech, David, what if Kait wants some tomorrow?"

"There will be no cake left by tomorrow."

"Put the fork down and get over here."

David licked the utensil clean and put the metal cover over the plate. He sauntered slowly to Thomas, locking eyes with him, smiling coyly.

"Get over here already," Thomas said, reach out to grab David by the waist. He pulled David close and swayed with him slightly.

"Are we dancing again?"

"Kait has a phonograph if you'd like to."

David looked up at Thomas. "I'd like to, very much. One request."

"Which is?"

"Can we dance in just our underthings?"

Thomas pinched David's sides. "I don't think we'd dance very long if that were the case."

David wriggled and laughed.

"Oh, that's right," Thomas said, his voice a bit deeper. "You're a ticklish little thing. I'd almost forgotten."

"No, please-" David protested briefly before Thomas's fingers were back on his sides. He doubled over and Thomas grabbed him from behind, tickling as David wriggled to escape. He finally got himself free and ran into the living room.

Thomas peeked around the kitchen doorway as if he were stalking prey. "There's nowhere to hide, David."

David tossed his jacket on the sofa and kicked off his shoes. "Then I'll just have to defend myself."

"With what?"

"Try to get me and you'll find out," David replied as he slipped his braces off quickly over his shoulders. They fell to sides of his thighs with a snap.

Thomas stepped around the doorway and took a step in David's direction.

David crouched a bit as if he were about to wrestle an opponent.

"Planning to take me to the mat?"

David bared his teeth. "You're stalling. You must be scared."

Thomas laughed. "You're so strange."

David took a step sideways, then two steps in the other direction. "I'm waiting."

Thomas took three slow steps forward, then ran across the short distance and reached for David. David crouched down lower and hugged Thomas around the waist. He pushed Thomas's jacket aside with his cheek and sank his teeth into Thomas's side through his shirt, just hard enough to elicit a loud, surprised laugh. Thomas tried to push him off, but David held on tighter and bit his way across to Thomas's other side.

Both men fell to the rug beneath them, David growling as he straddled Thomas. He held Thomas's wrists above his head and pinned them to the ground.

"You. Are. So. Odd." Thomas said as he looked up into at David's narrowed eyes.

David whispered something in a language Thomas couldn't even identify.

"Are you having a stroke or something?"

David lowered his lips to Thomas's ear and kept whispering things that sounded erotic if only he could understand them. He nibbled Thomas's neck, getting another surprised giggle out of Thomas.

"What's your next move?"

David kept Thomas's wrists down in one hand, and grabbed Thomas's tie in the other. He gave him what sounded like an order.

"I have no idea what you're babbling about! But how I missed your lunacy. Can I at least have a kiss, please?"

Instead of lowering his face to Thomas's, David pulled again on Thomas's tie until then were lip to lip. Instead of a kiss, David opened his mouth slowly, then flicked Thomas's lower lip with his tongue.

Thomas wiggled his wrists and pushed up against David with his hips. "Kiss me!"

David let go of Thomas's tie and held his wrists in both hands, spreading Thomas's arms apart above his head. He leaned in closer as their arms spread further, until they were lip to lip again. David rested his chest against Thomas's, and Thomas could feel David's heartbeat even through the fabric of their shirts.

"We were supposed to dance, remember?" Thomas whispered.

David answered, again, in words Thomas didn't understand, then licked Thomas's lips slowly from one corner of his mouth to the other and back again.

Thomas groaned and struggled, staring into David's eyes imploringly.

"Don't just give me that look," David said, finally speaking English. "Tell me how badly you need me."

After the talk of other men over dinner, Thomas wondered if this was David's own, odd way of getting confirmation that Thomas wanted him above all others. He relaxed under David's tense body and looked up at him with gentle eyes. "I don't simply need you. I want you. I desire you. Crave you. Yearn for you, pine for you, dream of you and only you. I love you. Now, David… let me delight in you."

David swallowed and his expression softened, though he held Thomas down with the same amount of force. "I don't want to dance."

"I see that, my darling. Not sure what it is you do want, though."

"I'm so frustrated with you," David said, almost hissing, as he loosened his grip. He rubbed the underside of Thomas's wrists softly with his thumbs. "But, I know, you could've done so much worse than you did. You stopped because you're in love with me. I want to kiss you and bite you and hug you and slap you. I want to make love to you and then pound you so hard you leave an impression in the floor. Damn you, Thomas."

Before Thomas could reply, David's lips were finally on his, kissing him deeply but tenderly. He let his fingers trail down Thomas's arms, across his shoulders, and up to his jaw. Thomas wrapped his arms around David and pulled him close, returning the kiss slowly and deliberately. They kept kissing even as David unbuttoned his shirt, breaking the kiss for the briefest moment as he pulled his undershirt off over his head. Thomas inhaled deeply through his nose as he fingers touched David's bare skin, as soft and smooth as he had recalled on so many nights alone. He traced the muscles in David's shoulders and back, then ran his fingers along David's spine from the small of his back to his neck.

David shivered as Thomas's fingers explored his back with an even lighter touch, making just the slightest contact with his skin, and Thomas's kissing became more light and soft as well. David melted into the kisses and arched his back under Thomas's fingers as a throaty moan rose from his throat.

Thomas sat up on his elbows and nudged David switch positions. David complied, rolling onto his back and spreading his legs so Thomas could settle in between them. Thomas looked down at David's naked torso, fair hair at the chest leading to darker hair just below his unfastened waistband. Thomas kissed David's collarbone and neck, his shoulders and chest, and then returned to David's lips.

David rolled his head to the side as Thomas kissed his cheek and earlobe. "Did you kiss more than the man's lips?"

"Blimey, David," Thomas said, balling his hands into fists.

"It's my last question, I promise."

Thomas grasped David's cheeks in his hands and forced him to look into his eyes. "Hear me, David. I could have done more and it wouldn't make what happened much different. Asking questions and getting details doesn't change anything, it just hurts you more and more. I know I let you down, and I've apologized. I won't tell you anything else about it. After all, sane, sober you told me not to."

David nodded, warm tears running from his eyes to his temples. "I thought I'd changed but I'm still pitiful and pathetic."

"You're no such thing, don't start with that nonsense."

"Look at me!"

"I am looking at you and I see completely legitimate pain. I'm simply saying I won't participate in hurting you further."

David wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and then pulled Thomas close again. "I won't talk anymore."

"If you do, just do it in that other language."

David laughed and poked Thomas's ribs. "Cheeky."

"You said you weren't talking."

David pressed his lips together and poked Thomas again.

"That's it!" Thomas said as he pinned David just as David had held him down. He slowly put his lips to David's neck and then licked and nibbled until David gasped from giggling. He slowed the licking and nibbled softer until David was relaxed again.

"That turned you on, hmm?" Thomas said as he pushed himself against David's groin.

"Mmm hmm."

"The licking, or the biting?"

"Both, but the licking really got me" David whispered.

"Don't suppose you'd like to be my cigar now?"

David panted as he watched Thomas kiss his way down his body. He raised his hips to help Thomas undress him the rest of the way, grunting with relief when he was free of his confining trousers.

Thomas kissed David's cock and inhaled. "It always smells as good as it looks," Thomas murmured.

David shifted and laughed self-consciously. "Why are you smelling it?"

"Why shouldn't I? It's a sensory experience. One I really, really enjoy, I might add."

"What-what do I smell like, then?"

Thomas licked David between each answer. "Earthy. Ambrosial. Warm. Like a seabreeze. And laundry soap. And sandalwood."

"Is it a cock or a cologne?"

"If I could bottle it up, I would."

David laid back so Thomas couldn't see him blushing. He closed his eyes and rested his arms, palms up, by his sides, enjoying every lick, suck, and stroke. Thomas closed his eyes as well, relishing in the pleasure he gave his partner.

"I want to dance now," David panted.

"Lord above, why did you make me fall in love with such a bizarre person?"

"Come on, put on music."

Thomas sat up on his knees. "Seriously?"

David nodded.

Thomas adjusted himself in his trousers and climbed to his feet. He made sure all of the shades were completely drawn, then selected an album from a pile and put it on. David watched from the floor, smiling dreamily the entire time.

"You need to get up if you want to dance."

David put out his hand for Thomas to help him up. Thomas began undoing his tie, but David stopped him. He put his head on Thomas's shoulder and waited for him to lead.

Thomas rested his cheek on David and began moving with him slowly. With his shoes on, and David barefoot, David seemed shorter than usual. And without a stitch of clothing, he also seemed more vulnerable. Was that the point of this dance, Thomas wondered. For David to feel safe and protected in his arms?

"I appreciate that you're not stepping on my toes," David said into Thomas's neck.

"I do what I can. After this song, are you ready to move to our bedroom?"

"Our bedroom," David repeated. "Yes, I think I am. Leave the phonograph on, though."

"Love-making with music, I like that idea," Thomas said as David lead him to the bedroom.

David pulled Thomas's bedroom curtain aside and looked out on the balcony. "We could do it out there."

"Good idea, I was considering getting arrested tonight."

David turned around to find Thomas undressing by the metal clothing rack that served as his armour. He settled onto the bed, propping himself against pillows to enjoy the view.

Thomas noticed David looking and slid his tie from his neck slowly like a burlesque dancer might in a nightclub. He threw it to David, and David caught it and put it around his neck own like a feather boa.

"Now do the rest to the rhythm of the music!" David cheered.

Thomas waved him off and continued undressing as he normally would, except that he kept David's gaze as he did so. David sat up on his knees to get a better look as Thomas came to the last few bits that kept him covered. Thomas indulged David and removed them rhythmically as he had requested. David pretending to fan himself and whistled.

"On your back," Thomas said. David complied as Thomas sauntered toward him, and then gasped as Thomas grasped him under the knee and pulled him swiftly to the edge of the bed. Thomas knelt on the ground and put David's legs over his shoulders. "I wasn't done in there," he explained before caressing David with his tongue.

"Lick me lower," David requested quietly.

Thomas kissed David's stomach, then inner thigh, and lower and lower as David brought his knees to his chest in anticipation.

David moaned and praised Thomas's tongue as it found the spot he wanted him reach so desperately. Thomas moaned, too. It was an act he always enjoyed but was worried David only ever asked because he knew Thomas liked it. There was no mystery that night, however, and Thomas grew harder himself as David's moans became faster and more enthusiastic. He became louder still as Thomas reached up and stroked his cock in sync with his licking.

The music served to push away any concern Thomas had that a neighbor might hear David. He probed David with his tongue, evoking a long, loud moan of appreciation. David murmured Thomas's name as he pulled his legs as tightly to his body as he could, hoping it would help Thomas go deeper. He put his hand over Thomas's to help him pump and rocked back and forth, pushing himself onto Thomas's tongue, then up into his hand.

Thomas took his hand from David's and let David tend to himself. He moaned into David as he began stroking himself, and kept moaning when he realized it was making David exceptionally aroused. It was doing wonders for his own cock, too.

The phonograph began skipping and David laughed. "Of course that'd happen right now," he griped.

"Back in a moment," Thomas promised as he sprinted to the living room. He fixed the needle with fingers that trembled with desire, and ran back to the bedroom even faster than he left.

David was standing where Thomas had been kneeling. He stroked himself and whispered, "Your turn."

"You sure?"

David pumped himself faster. "Completely certain."

Thomas sat on the edge of the bed and waited for David to kneel between his legs. David put a hand on Thomas's chest to push him back.

"Wait, wait. You're going to do what I was doing?"

"What did you think I meant?"

Thomas pointed to his cock. "You know. This."

David pushed his shoulders between Thomas's legs to spread them. "This first."

Thomas's heart fluttered as he laid back. He put his arms behind his head and closed his eyes, and when David's tongue found him, he let out a long, slow, low sigh.

"Can you do what I was doing?"

David gave one last flick of his tongue before sliding it inside Thomas. He took extreme pride in how much Thomas moaned and writhed in response. He looked up Thomas's body and saw he was laying as if he were sunning himself on the beach, and smiling like he had just won the lottery. David slid a hand slowly up Thomas's thigh, and when Thomas looked down to see what David was doing, he grabbed his cock firmly and stroked.

"Oh God, David, you'll make me finish too soon."

David looked up long enough to say, "You're cumming at least twice tonight."

"If you insist," Thomas said as he settled back onto the bed. He swiveled his hips to match David's swirling licks, feeling the beginning of what he learned would be just his first orgasm that night. He reached above his head and grabbed the sheets, his back arching and thighs flexing as a warm tingle started low in his abdomen. He became breathless as David slipped his fingers inside him, still licking from the outside. There was no need to tell David he was there, every part of his body was sending the message.

All sound was caught in Thomas's throat as he came in hot, quick bursts across his entire torso, from neck to navel. When he found his voice, he demanded desperately, "Get up here."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean sit on my tongue."

David licked his way up Thomas's body, swallowing hungrily as he went. "I missed that taste," he said into Thomas's neck as he found the last drop. Thomas guided David's thighs to either side of his face. He helped David down slowly, smiling as David cried a string of curse words over how fantastic it felt. Thomas grabbed David's backside and pulled him down even more.

"I don't want to hurt you."

David could barely understand Thomas's response. "You won't hurt me."

David craned his neck to get a look at Thomas's body and saw that Thomas was already hard again. He relaxed and sat down as Thomas had insisted, giving himself strong, slow strokes as he did so. He played with Thomas's hair in his other hand, wishing he could reach Thomas's cock from his position.

His orgasm built slowly as Thomas's had, spreading little by little throughout his body until it overtook him. He grabbed the headboard for stability, cumming harder and longer than he thought he would, experiencing the euphoric feeling long past when his orgasms usually ended. He realized it was because he was about to cum again right after. Loud, nonsensical swear words were all his brain could form in response. When it ultimately subsided like the tide, he crawled off of Thomas and fell onto the bed next to him, panting and wriggling as his body tried to come to rest.

"Jesus, David," Thomas remarked, impressed. He licked David clean just as David had licked him, though much of David's orgasm was on the bed and the wall rather than his body.

David stretched his limbs out like a starfish and watched Thomas lick him. "One more time in case you missed a spot."

Thomas kissed practically every inch of David's stomach and chest, then settled in next to him on the bed.

"I want to kiss you," David whispered. "I mean, we were both doing the same thing, so why not, right?"

"I don't need any convincing. Get over here," Thomas said while turning onto his side. He pulled David against him and gave him a light kiss, waiting for David to make a move to kiss more.

David stroked Thomas's face and then pulled him closer, parting his lips to let in Thomas's tongue. The kiss felt a little forbidden for reasons David couldn't make sense of, but he liked when things in the bedroom felt a bit taboo. It was like he and Thomas were keeping a secret that no one in the world would ever know except the two of them.

"You're still hard," David remarked as he felt Thomas against his hip.

"Story checks out."

"What would you like me to do about it?"

"I'd like you to relax and enjoy the afterglow."

"Bully to that. What can I do for you, Mr. Barrow?"

Thomas ran his fingers along David's ribs. "Well, I suppose it wouldn't require much effort on your part."

"What? What? Tell me."

"I bet you can guess."

David smiled up at Thomas. "Have anything slippery?"

Thomas reached across David and opened his nightstand drawer. "I planned properly for your homecoming."

"Heh, homecoming."

Thomas rolled his eyes, then put a small container in David's hands. "Will you put it on me?"

"Happily," David replied as Thomas climbed on top of him.

Once David was satisfied that Thomas was good and slick, he wrapped his legs around Thomas's waist and drew him close. They traded 'I love you's and hugged each other tightly as Thomas slid inside. The music had finally come to an end, and the soundtrack was now their sighs, gasps, and moans. Thomas whispered in David's ear as he slipped in and out, and David wrapped himself as tightly around Thomas as he could, his ear tickling from Thomas's sweet nothings.

Suddenly, the vision of Thomas in the other man's arms creeped into his brain again. He winced and wished it away, begging his subconscious to keep bad thoughts away at least until Thomas was finished.

"My Thomas," he said quietly into Thomas's ear.

"Yes?" Thomas panted.

"I just wanted to say 'my Thomas'."

Thomas moved in and out more quickly. "Keep talking."

David put his lips to Thomas's ear. "My lover and my beloved, my one-and-only. My sweet, sexy, smart, stunning man. I adore you, cherish you, worship you. I bow down to the altar of your massive, throbbing prick."

Thomas laughed and nipped David's neck. "I was almost there."

David cleared his throat. "But I was serious. You've no idea how many times I've daydreamed about your thick cock filling me up. Riding you until you burst. Letting you cum on me anywhere, everywhere. Or sucking every drop from you, kissing you after I swallow, letting you taste yourself on my used and satisfied tongue. I've imagined it the other way, too. Feeling you from inside, whether it's your tight, fit arse or your perfect, pink lips around me. It's absolute Heaven either way. My darling, my angel, my Thomas. Will you cum? Will you make my daydreams come true?"

Thomas panted and propped himself up on his forearms. "Look at me. Tell me again."

David looked up at Thomas. "Cum in me. Deep in me. All you have, every bit. It's all mine and I want it now." He squeezed himself around Thomas's cock for emphasis.

Thomas held David's hair in hands and gazed into his eyes. "Don't look away."

"I won't, I won't."

Thomas's eyes rolled back as the first waves of his orgasm arrived, but he kept them on David's as best he could, replaying in his mind the delightful, erotic little speech of David's as he came. He moaned, looking back and forth between David's eyes and his growing smile. I love how much you love me, he thought. He did just David just as requested, filling David up, spilling back onto himself with his last, long, slow pumps.

He stayed on top of David, his head on David's shoulder, until the last aftershock was out of his system. He laid next to David and caressed his face. "Well, Hell. Have you been practicing that speech?"

David chuckled. "No, you just inspire improvisational prose."

"Of the perverse kind."

"I'd say romantically perverse."

Thomas nuzzled David's cheek. "That actually describes you quite well."

They held fast to each other and laid quietly, one kissing the other periodically. Warm and relaxed and spent, they eventually fell asleep just like that, on top of the bedding without bothering with washing up or finding pajamas.

Thomas awoke spooning David, and as he looked past him to the windows, he realized it was much brighter than when he usually rose. He sat up and grabbed for his alarm clock. He'd forgotten to set it. It was two hours past when he was due at the shop.

"Can I help?" David asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"No, no. Thank you, no," Thomas replied as he ran around the room gathering everything he needed to get dressed.

"You need to shower."

"I don't have time!"

"At least wipe down."

"I'll be fine, just stay out of the way so I can get out of here."

David sat up, helplessly looking on as Thomas ran through the rest of the flat in a frenzy. He stayed in bed in order to stay out of the way, hearing the toilet flush, the sink run, cabinets open and slam shut, and cursing throughout it all.

Thomas appeared in the doorway, half dressed. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me to tell you to stay out of my way."

"It's alright. Keep moving."

Thomas nodded and hopped away as he pulled on his trousers. Once dressed, he put his cufflinks in his pocket to deal with later and kissed David on the cheek. "See you tonight."

"Good luck."

"Thank you, I'll need it."

The streets were already teeming with people and Thomas had to dodge them as he ran to work. He thanked the Heavens that it was Sam's day to open, but he had still left Sam hanging. Why hadn't Sam called, he wondered. A call would have at least woken him up earlier.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he opened the door and found no customers in the shop. The sound of metal on metal came from the backroom, and Thomas felt his stomach drop imagining the exchange he was about to have with Sam.

The sounds stopped, and seconds later Sam emerged. He looked at Thomas with a kind of disgust Thomas had never seen in him before.

"I'm so sorry, I-"

Sam put up a hand. "Save it."

Thomas looked at his feet and clenched his jaw. He held his hat in his hands, wringing the brim.

"My brother said he was coming back. Let me guess. He got in yesterday?"

Thomas's jaw worked but no words came out.

"I'm a tolerant man," Sam continued, taking the silence as a 'yes'. "For Godsakes, I hired my brother's...my brother's, whatever you are to him. I did it because I love him. Because I like you. Because I needed the bloody help. But I don't need it shoved in my face. Do whatever it is you do behind closed doors and keep it there."

Thomas looked up and stammered. "I- we. That is, he-"

"Enough! Enough, Jesus, Thomas. Bugger my brother on your own time, not when you're due here to help me run the fucking family business."

They both stared at one another in the silence that followed. Thomas's eyes were wide and glassy. He felt cut to the quick and had no idea what to say next.

Sam crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling before looking at Thomas again. "Aren't you going to yell back or something?"

Thomas shook his head. "I - I knew you'd be cross that I was late. The rest of it… I never would have imagined."

"Well, I-"

"No, it's fine. It's fine. I'm sure an apology seems hollow. You were generous to employ me. I haven't forgotten that."

"You're an asset, it's just-"

Thomas put his hand up this time. "Let's get to work. I have to catch up on the two hours I owe you." He strode past Sam to the back room and hung up his coat and hat. He had been absolutely starving as he ran to work, but now he felt so sick that the idea of even tea turned his stomach. He put on an apron and took the seat Sam had been sitting in, resuming the work that would have been his had he been on time. He rubbed his molars together and stormed inside.

It was half an hour before Sam came in back. Thomas spun on the stool and faced him. "Your brother doesn't deserve that. Any of that. That garbage you spewed."

Sam licked the inside of his cheek, then put his hands on his hips. "Then please don't tell him I said any of it."

"I don't deserve it, neither."

"Well, Thomas, I was angry."

Thomas stood and looked down at Sam. "I don't care. That's no excuse. You knew good and well what David and I were when you invited me here, so don't act surprised that our relationship exists."

"As I said, just keep it on your own time."

Thomas's nostrils flared. "I forgot to set my alarm, Sam. That's why I was late."

"But David was why you forgot, wasn't he?"

"You should mind your next words."

The two men turned towards the sound of the shop door opening.

"I'll get it," Sam said as he turned his back to Thomas.

Thomas sat back down, but realized quickly whose voice he heard in the show room.

David stood with two plates of breakfast from the diner next door, one for Thomas and one for Sam. He looked back and forth between Sam and Thomas, studying the scowls on both of their faces.

"Did something happen?" he asked Thomas.

Thomas shook his head. "No. Just business things. Thank you for the food, but I'm not hungry. You and your brother should go back there and eat it together."

David began to reply, but Sam cut him off. "I'm famished, David. Join me back there, would you?"

David nodded, still confused. He looked to Thomas for some kind of answer, and finding none, brought the plates into the back room.

Sam glanced at Thomas briefly before following David.

"Be kind," Thomas said as Sam passed.

Sam nodded and continued walking.

Thomas leaned on the wall by the back room door and listened to make sure he heard no arguments or debates. Instead, he heard laughter. He looked into the back room and saw the two of them sitting closely with their plates on their laps, smiling and chatting as they ate.

He let out a long sigh before calling to Sam, "I'll be back in a moment." Breakfast smelled good, and he stepped next door to order an egg, toast, and coffee. He brought it back to the shop and joined the brothers, looking at Sam first for a nod of approval.

"Pull up a seat," Sam told him.

"Are you sure? I'm happy to give the Price brothers more time to catch up."

Sam gave Thomas an apologetic smile. "Don't be silly. I was just telling David that having you here is like working with family."

"Arguments and all," Thomas added. He slid a stool across the room and joined the men, and was soon laughing along with them, eating every last bite as his appetite returned.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Damn! Damn, damn, damn!"

Thomas jumped up from the sofa and dashed to the balcony window to see what was making David curse repeatedly. He found David with a hand that looked as if it had bled India ink, and a drawing covered in splatters.

"The blasted thing split!" David said, holding his pen up to Thomas. "I spent so much on this nib because it was supposedly durable. Worthless piece of rubbish. And look!" he continued, gesturing helplessly to his drawing. "Hours of work down the toilet."

Thomas reached through the open window and took the pen from David in his non-gloved hand. He held the nib up and squinted to get a look at the tip. "I wonder if I could fix this. Might as well give it a shot, eh?"

David wiped his hand on the destroyed drawing and shrugged. "Certainly can't make it any worse. Could you give me a hand getting back inside? I don't want to get the window inky."

Thomas switched the pen to his other hand carefully, avoiding soiling his glove, and offered a hand to David.

David hopped from the window ledge to the floor and looked up at Thomas. "Thank you, dearie. Sorry if I bit your head off."

"No, you were yelling at the pen, mostly. But I'll take a kiss for my troubles."

With his hands out to the sides to avoid touching Thomas, David kissed Thomas softly on the lips. "Thank you, I feel better now."

"Mmm, me, too."

"Cheeky. I'd slap your rear but I'd leave a handprint."

"Well," Thomas said, looking David over, "wash your hands first, and then I might quite enjoy it if you slapped my rear and left a mark."

David moaned and closed his eyes. "Let's remember that for next time."

"I won't forget."

With one last kiss, David threw his drawing in the garbage and went to the bathroom to clean himself. After another set of "damns", David called to Thomas, "Does Kait ever take down her unmentionables?"

"Sadly, that's become my job. Did you get caught in them?"

"I got ink on a… I think this is underwear."

Thomas chuckled. "Maybe that'll teach her to leave them in there."

Once his hands were clean, Thomas pulled out watchmaking tools and a jewelers loupe. He set up shop under the brightest table lamp in the flat and examined the nib. "It's twisted, not broken. Bet I could straighten this in the shop no problem."

"Oh, I don't want to trouble you. If you think we have the tools I can give it a go."

Thomas put down the loupe and stared at David. "Don't be absurd. I like doing things for you. Let me fix it."

"Sorry, sorry," David said with mock remorse. "My knight in shining armor, save me from the trouble of doing a task for myself. Nevermind the fact that you're employed full time and I'm sitting on my tail end all day, you should be the one to spend time and energy trying to fix my nib."

"Wait, are you trying to say I'm not letting you do things for yourself?"

David sat on a chair opposite Thomas. "Well, since I came back, you've been doing a great deal for me that I could do myself."

"Oh, please. Like what?"

"Let's see: all of the cooking, laundry, house work, errands… not to mention the fact that you insist on paying for everything. Food, flicks, drinks, clubs - my clothes, how could I forget that."

"Sorry that I like to spoil you."

David put his hand on Thomas's knee and looked into his eyes earnestly. "Darling, it's one thing to spoil me. It's another to treat me like a child. I can do things for myself. I can buy things for myself. I can even buy things for you if you'd let me."

"I let you buy dinner when you arrived."

"One dinner!" David laughed. "Goodness. I've paid for one meal. You're right, we're even."

Thomas put his hand over David's. "We don't need to be even. Sometimes I might pay for more things, sometimes you might. Your time will come, I'm sure."

"But I have plenty to contribute now."

They looked at one another in silence for a long moment. David squeezed Thomas's hand and hung his head. "You're worried that I'm worried. You want to save me from using my savings. I appreciate that, I do, love - but I saved money so I could help, not so that I could be a burden."

Thomas breathed in deeply through his nose. He gave a stern look that made David's pulse quicken.

"What? What did I say?"

"Yes, I'm well aware you've been saving. Saving so much you couldn't come and see me for an entire year."

David snatched his hand back as if Thomas had bit him. "That's not fair! What would you have had me do? Spend everything I made on my trips to come home for a fortnight here or there? What would be the point in that?"

Thomas put his index finger to his chest. "I could have paid for you. Me, David. You could have told me why you weren't coming home and I could have fixed it."

"I didn't want you spending all of your hard-earned money, either."

"Well I didn't ask you to make my choices for me!" Thomas leaned back hard against his chair and huffed. "I missed you. So much it hurt my soul, David. And this whole time I could have seen you. I thought you couldn't take a break or you would have lost your employment or something. I didn't know it was a choice."

David leaned back, too, but did so with a soft sigh. "My Thomas, my dear, I didn't mean to make you feel like I chose earning money over seeing you."

Thomas looked up at the ceiling. "I didn't realize that was how I felt until just now."

"Did you ever consider visiting?"

Thomas's eyes shot to David's for signs of an accusation in his words. Finding none, he considered what David said carefully before responding. "I did. But it felt like I would be intruding or getting in the way of your work."

David smiled patiently. "You didn't ask me. You didn't let me choose whether a visit would have been intrusive or not."

Thomas looked at the floor, the corner his lips dipping deeply into a frown. "It would've been easier for you to come here."

"Please," David whispered. "I know that face. That's the face you make before you cry. Please don't cry, Thomas."

"I'm not crying."

David grunted and rose to his feet. "Get up. Get up, get up. Come lay down with me in bed."

Thomas stayed seated. He looked like a child who had been told to go to his room.

"Up! Now! Or I'm coming down to you."

Thomas glanced at David but didn't move.

David dropped to his knees and held Thomas's hands in his. "I'm sorry. For all of it, for all of the nonsense and all of the hurt I've caused you."

Thomas's lips quivered.

"I made some poor choices, I admit it. Thomas, look at me. I'm groveling here."

Thomas smiled despite himself.

"There it is! Good, eye contact, too," David said as Thomas set his watery eyes on him. "I made the choice to leave. You supported me, but I left you. I'm sure that hurt, and then I didn't come back for a long time. We're partners, my love. We're good as married without the license, aren't we? My decisions should have been shared decisions. You're right about that, and I'm so, so sorry I didn't see it at the time."

Thomas wiped his eye with his cuff. "I thought you didn't want me to cry."

"Tears of love and, or healing are allowed."

Thomas sniffled and sighed. "I'll lay down. Lead the way."

"Excellent. Follow me."

David went ahead of Thomas and was already laying down when Thomas reached the bedroom. "Put your head on my chest," David directed, patting himself for emphasis.

Thomas took his shoes off and slid in sideways against David. He draped an arm and a leg over David and nuzzled David's chest with his cheek, closing his eyes as David's arms wrapped around him.

"'Good as married without the license'. I love how that sounds," Thomas said into David's ribs.

"We are just that, indeed. I've worn the ring and necklace every day since you first put it around my neck."

Thomas began to drift off towards a nap when David jumped as if he had been zapped by an electrical current. "What," Thomas asked, sitting up on an elbow. "What's the matter?"

"Oh, just my stupid side."

"It still hurts?! David, why didn't you tell me?"

David shrugged.

"Lord, give me strength. I'm calling a doctor. You've been in pain far too long."

"Doctors are closed on Sundays. I've lasted this long, it's no emergency. Nothing much a doctor could do for me, anyhow. I just need time to get better."

Thomas shook his head, but nestled back into David's body. "You need to be seen."

"If it will give you some peace, I'll call tomorrow."

"It would, so do that, please. Remember what happens when you ignore symptoms? Or does your appendix scar not remind you?"

"I don't have another appendix. I'm probably fine."

Thomas poked David's armpit. "Don't start."

David laughed and clamped his arm to his side. "Fine, fine. I'm listening to you. I'll call, I promise."

Before the sun was up the next morning, Thomas was already toiling in the back of the shop. He brought a pen nib Eric had leant him to compare to David's. It took an hour, but he had it straightened. Another half hour later it was polished and back on the pen. "Good as new," Thomas said to himself as he held the pen up triumphantly.

Things with Sam were a bit less chummy since he and Thomas butted heads over David, but Thomas greeted him cheerfully to show him the nib. "We could offer it as a service. Once I'm used to it, it'll be quick work."

Sam rolled the pen between his fingers while looking it over. "Do you think you could fix one if a piece were broken off?"

"Don't see why not."

"Is this gold?"

"Not all of them are or nothing, but yes, that one is."

Sam pointed the pen at Thomas. "I'm not one to turn my nose up at business. If you think people would use the service, by all means, post a sign."

Thomas gave Sam a closed-lip but appreciative smile.

"And thank you," Sam added, handing back the pen, "for thinking of new things for us to do. You never know if someone would bring in a pen and leave with their pen and a watch."

Thomas nodded. "Of course. It's part of my job to make sure we stay in business, isn't it?"

Sam nodded in return. "Sure, but you go above and beyond. Don't think it's lost on me."

"Thank you for saying so," Thomas replied humbly.

There was a bit of pep in Thomas's step for the rest of the day. The remaining tension with Sam seemed to have finally left the air in the shop and Thomas was relieved things felt back to normal. He drafted a sign during his lunch break that he would ask David to pen when he returned home that evening.

Midway through the afternoon, Eric stopped by for a cup of tea. "Just running errands in the neighborhood," he noted without even being asked for the reason for his visit.

"Since you felt the need to add that detail, I don't believe you," Thomas said, fist on hip as he sipped his tea.

Eric looked into his cup. "Yes, well, Ted's frustrated with me. I just wanted a little break."

Thomas sipped his tea again and licked his lip. "Oh no. What did you do?"

"You assume I did something wrong! Rude."

"Rude but true?"

Eric looked over his shoulder to see how far Sam was from the conversation. "Well, so. There's this… thing. This thing that he seems to like, like it's coming between us. It's nothing new but… I don't know."

"I'm lost."

"I'm sure, sorry. Just trying to avoid saying something that could be overheard."

Thomas gestured to the back. He held a seat out for Eric and then took one himself. "Okay, spill it. What'd you do?"

Eric crossed his long legs at the ankles and sighed. "You'll look at me differently."

Thomas turned off his sarcasm and smiled reassuringly at his friend. "I'm quite sure I won't."

"Alright. Here goes. I'm glad you're already sitting down." Eric's cheeks began to turn rosey as he continued. "Long before Teddy was in the picture, I started seeing this man periodically. Sexually," Eric whispered the word. "He has a business. In his home."

"Are you describing a streetwalker? Well I guess not technically the street."

"Money is exchanged. But the thing about it… I pay him to tie me up. And hurt me."

Thomas put on as reassuring an expression as he could. "Well we all like a little play in the bedroom, don't we?"

"I appreciate that, but it's more than a little play. There are always significant marks. I love it," Eric chuckled, a hint of nervousness in his laugh, "but for someone who doesn't, I'm sure it's concerning."

Thomas kept trying to smile, but the idea of Eric being truly hurt made it difficult. "Do you still see this person?"

Eric nodded. "Off and on. It's been more on than off as of late. Ted thinks it's flat out wrong."

Thomas scoffed. "Like he's one to talk! That footman is on the payroll, isn't he? How's that any different than your situation?"

"It's not necessarily paying for it that he objects to, it's a moral objection."

"Ted talking morals, that's rich."

Eric leaned forward, forearms on his thighs. "No, you see… he thinks I go for the wrong reasons. Not just to, you know, get my jollies or what have you. He thinks I'm going to, to punish myself."

"Punish yourself for what?"

Eric laughed awkwardly again. "You name it!"

"What on earth do you mean? You think you're a bad person or something?"

Eric hung his head, then looked back up at Thomas. "It's not that simple. Oh, what does it matter? I want it. No, I need it, but Ted can't get himself to tolerate it.'

"What if he did it instead of this other person? Maybe it's a lack of control on his part?"

"Ted doesn't try to exert control over me, really. But he won't do it the way I want it done. Too rough for his liking."

Thomas crossed his arms, thinking. "How rough are we talking?"

Watching the doorway for Sam, Eric removed a cufflink and pushed up his sleeve. He revealed rope burns that were deep and dark despite already being a few days old. Without looking to see Thomas's reaction, he stood, lifted up his shirt in the back, and showed Thomas whip marks of various sizes and depths. He tucked his shirt back in swiftly and sat down, still averting his eyes.

Thomas's breath was caught in his chest. He cleared his throat, trying to make way for words to come out. "Well," he began, his tone upbeat, "I can understand why Ted doesn't want to see you hurt, but if it's what you like, it's what you like. Did he know about it before you became a couple?"

Eric nodded.

"Then he needs to find a way to accept it, doesn't he?"

"I don't know," Eric said in a distant voice. "On some level I agree with him. I want all of the things I don't like about myself… beaten out of me. I want to be punished. But it works! I'm pretty happy-go-lucky otherwise. When I've tried to stop, that dissatisfaction, dislike, what have you. It starts seeping into the other parts of my life, and that's certainly not good for me, or him for that matter."

Thomas heard the doorbells jingle and called to Sam that he would be right out. "How often do you go to this man?"

Eric stood as Thomas rose from his seat. "When I'm in town, I don't know. Weekly. Sometimes more."

"Goodness," Thomas muttered before he could catch himself. "I'm sure there's a solution. It'll just take time."

Looking at the door again, Eric pulled Thomas into a hug. "Thank you. Thank you for listening and not judging me."

Thomas returned the hug and patted Eric's back. "That's what I'm here for. Don't worry. It'll get sorted, I'm sure of it."

Though he hadn't shown it outwardly, the marks on Eric's body unsettled Thomas. Thomas was used to any tying up being done playfully with silk ties or scarves. Spankings may end with some red marks, but they were gone quickly. A love bite may bruise and then disappear. Clearly Eric was looking for hurt long after playtime was over. He mulled the new information over while he worked.

Keeping Eric's privacy, Thomas kept the details to himself, but suggested to David that they go on an outing with Eric and Teddy.

"You go on and enjoy that," David said over supper. "I don't need to spend time with Teddy."

"Come now. It's for Eric, he could use some good cheer."

"Then just invite Eric."

Thomas pointed his fork at David. "Would you appreciate someone inviting me out but not you?"

"If I were a complete bastard I would understand."

Kait had listened quietly while she ate, but David's attitude perplexed her. "Why are you so against him these days?"

"I've always been against him."

"But more so lately," Thomas noted.

David stabbed at his potatoes without taking a bite. "We had a brief interaction on the phone that bothered me, that's all."

"Or," Thomas asked, stealing one of David's potatoes, "are you mad because he flirted with me even in your absence?"

"I flirted with Thomas while you were gone," Kait said, stealing a potato as well. "Are you upset with me, too?"

David took a green bean from each of his companions' plates. "Stop stealing from me, you already had yours. And no, Kait, you know it's not the same. I don't worry about you getting into Thomas's trousers."

"Don't you trust Thomas to keep his trousers fastened?"

Thomas took a bean from David's plate and gave it to Kait. "Thank you, Kait."

"You're ganging up on me!" David protested. "'Course I trust Thomas, but that doesn't mean I like the idea of someone trying to get in there."

Kait looked from David to Thomas. "Did you entertain any of Teddy's passes?"

Thomas sat up straight. "Why would you ask that?"

David sat up as well. "Why wouldn't you just answer with an emphatic 'no'?"

"Boys, quit. I'm not trying to stir up trouble. Honestly, though, Thomas, I also thought you'd just say 'no'."

Thomas took out his cigarettes and lit one hastily. "After I transgressed with Barnum and Bailey, I got squiffy and it took me a bit to get away from him one evening. Nothing happened! Ask Eric, he was there. He also helped me put Ted off."

"Whatever," David replied, stuffing food into his mouth. He spoke before swallowing. "It just proves my point. Teddy is slime and I don't want to waste my time with him."

"Sorry, Thomas," Kait said, "but I can see why David might not want Teddy's company right now"

"Thank you, Kait," David said, still chewing.

Thomas took a long drag. "Fine, then I'll go out with them by myself. I'm not being rude to Eric by excluding his boyfriend."

"But you're find excluding me?"

"You're excluding yourself."

David's jealousy brewed in his chest. "Fine! I'll go."

"Would it help if I went, too?" Kait asked.

"Yes," both men answered in unison.

Kait put her napkin on the table. "It's settled, then. I'll plan something for Saturday night if they're free."

"Can't wait," David muttered.

The fresh shine on the wood was dulling as Thomas paced the sales floor. David's appointment with the doctor took longer than he anticipated. His eyes shot to the door with every jingle. He cursed internally as he finally saw David approaching, wishing a customer hadn't just expressed interest in a purchase. He nodded as David came in, did his best to remain professional during the transaction, and then rushed to David as soon as the customer was out on the sidewalk.

"What happened?" Thomas asked, sneaking a quick kiss on David's cheek.

David wore a regretful smile. "Seems I was too cheap when it came to my meals. Turns out bread and cured meat for most of your meals can anger your gallbladder."

Thomas held David's shoulders and looked him over. "It's not even from the horse?"

"No. I was surprised, too."

"Then what now?"

David let Thomas lead him to the tea pot, and held a saucer while Thomas poured him tea. "First and foremost, I continue eating better than I was and use the hot water bottle on it when it hurts. The doctor didn't seem very confident that will solve the problem, though."

"And if it doesn't?" Thomas asked, pouring himself a cup. "Do they drain it?"

"I thought that's what they did, but I guess the new medicine is to take it out completely?"

"The whole organ?" Thomas asked, coughing on the sip of tea he had just taken.

"Uh huh."

Thomas shook his head. "That sounds dangerous."

David sipped his tea. "No more than stabbing the thing and trying to drain it."

"Touche."

"I go back in a month," David said, anticipating Thomas's next question. "If there's no significant improvement, out it comes."

Thomas wiped a droplet from David's lip with his thumb. "I guess no more cake for a while."

David pretended to weep.

"Come to the market with me tomorrow, we'll find some good things you'll still enjoy."

David nodded. "Teach me how to eat, Mr. Barrow."

"Nevermind," Thomas said with a grin. "Eat your bread and butter and enjoy your pain."

David heard the door open behind him, followed by a gasp from Thomas. He turned to the door and saw a vision in burgundy.

"Nora!" both men exclaimed.

"Both of you, what a treat!" Nora replied, hopping on her toes. As she ran to them, Lady Mary entered with Master George in her arms.

Thomas and David greeted Lady Mary properly, then each gave George a squeeze. Thomas took her coat while David took Nora's.

"Are you working here now?" Lady Mary asked David as Thomas fetched more tea.

David shook his head. "Just visiting."

"I missed you terribly!" Nora interrupted, putting her arms out to David for another hug. "I have a boorish roommate this semester. She's simply dreadful! No manners, she belches even when she isn't eating!"

"Nora!" Lady Mary gasped.

Nora hugged Thomas again as well, ignoring Lady Mary. "She never brushes her teeth or hair and she drones on and on about the most boring subjects."

Lady Mary looked down at Nora maternally. "You're not being very kind, Nora."

"Neither is she. It isn't kind to be smelly and boring."

Lady Mary turned her head so Nora couldn't see her chuckle.

"Tell us something good about school this semester," David suggested.

Nora put her finger to her chin while she thought. "I like my music instructor. I'm a whiz at mathematics so that homework hasn't taken up much of my time. The weather has been pleasant. Ooh! Can I buy a watch?"

Lady Mary rolled her eyes as Nora bounced from topic to topic.

"Buy one? No," Thomas answered, "but you may have one."

"Oh, absolutely not," Lady Mary countered. "Don't pout. That's robbery to take a watch for free."

"It's a gift," Thomas said softly.

Lady Mary gave him a similarly maternal look. "She may have one, but I will pay."

"I'm sure that will be perfectly acceptable," David said. "Right, Thomas?"

Thomas and Lady Mary smiled at one another.

"Fight about that later," Nora said. "Let's look at watches now."

"Yes, Miss Nora," Thomas said with a broad bow. He picked George up while he perused the cases with Nora. "Many of these will be too big for you, but some can be adjusted."

"Where are the children's watches?"

"We don't really have children's watches."

Nora looked up at Thomas. "That's silly. Children can tell time."

"Watch your tone," Lady Mary said. "Most children don't have the financial means to purchase a timepiece."

Nora shrugged. "Well, I can. I might want two."

"For each wrist?" David chuckled.

"For everyday and for fancy parties."

"Let's start with 'everyday'," Lady Mary sighed.

After two slow walks by each case, Nora settled on a petite watch with a white gold face and a band of black silk cord. "My mother had something similar."

"Sure, pull on my heart strings," Lady Mary whispered to David.

Thomas handed George to David and flipped through his keys to find the one for the case. He showed the watch to Nora, and then Lady Mary.

"Stunning, Thomas," Lady Mary said genuinely. She glanced at the price tag. "Very fair."

Thomas smiled at the compliment and her use of his first name. "I can adjust the band if this is the one you both choose."

"It is!" Nora squealed. "Please, Mary?"

"Yes, please adjust the band."

Thomas measured Nora's wrist with a thin pink measuring tape, then excused himself to the back room. David flew George around the shop like an airplane and Lady Mary looked through the cases, considering a future purchase for herself.

"Alright," Thomas declared as he reappeared, "let's try it on, shall we?"

Nora offered her wrist and let Thomas clasp the watch. "Divine! Isn't it, Mary?"

"It certainly is."

"She holds my purse strings," Nora informed Thomas.

Thomas laughed and began to remove the watch.

Nora put her hand over his. "No, please, I'd like to wear it."

"I'll still get you a box," Thomas said, "that way you can store it safely."

"That would be lovely, thank you," Nora said.

While Thomas retrieved a box, Lady Mary counted the bills in her purse. She handed them to Thomas with an appreciative, small smile. "I will always be jealous of your patience with that one."

Thomas pushed the buttons of the cash register with three loud clacks, and the drawer shot out with a jingle of coins. He counted Lady Mary's change. "My pleasure, thank you for visiting, and for shopping. I appreciate both very much."

Lady Mary accepted the change and tucked it into her coin purse. "You're most welcome. We're on our way to lunch, I don't suppose you could get away to join us?"

Thomas straightened his spine in appreciation for the invite. "I can't, m'Lady, but I'm sure David can."

David stopped flying momentarily when he heard his name.

"Would you care to join us for lunch?" Lady Mary asked.

"I wouldn't want to be a bother."

"She invited you, it's not a bother," Thomas said.

"Testy, testy," David replied. "I would love to join the three of you for lunch."

Lady Mary thought that the exchange between the two men sounded as though they were brothers. Or maybe it wasn't brotherly, she began to consider. Was there something else? The thought distracted her and she forgot to reply.

"Are you alright?" Thomas asked her as he handed her a bag containing the box.

"Oh, yes, absolutely," she said, a bit flustered. "I must just be hungry. Shall we go now?"

"I wish you could come," George told Thomas.

Thomas crossed the store in great strides to hug him good-bye. "Next time, Master George."

Lady Mary and David walked to the restaurant side by side, George's hand in Lady Mary's and Nora's in David's. Nora was distracted by her watch and wasn't very chatty, and George was distracted by every store and person they passed. Lady Mary took the quiet moment to ask David some questions.

"So," she said brightly, "where are you staying? With your brother?"

"Oh, actually, conveniently - Thomas and Kait are letting me stay with them."

Lady Mary raised an eyebrow. "When you said you thought you might see him in London, it didn't sound like you were planning to live together."

David steadied himself to ensure his response didn't sound defensive or evasive. "I wasn't initially planning to room with the two of them," he replied confidently, since it was technically the truth.

"You must not have tired of one other yet if you're visiting him during the day, too."

"Well, we lived in the same dorm at Downton, and we worked together at the same time. I'm used to him. Old habits, I suppose."

"Indeed," Lady Mary replied. David opened his mouth, about to change the subject, when Lady Mary continued. "Is it a three bedroom flat?"

David began to resent Lady Mary's prying. "Why do you ask?"

Lady Mary back peddled, though she never wavered on the surface. "Curiosity. You and Thomas lived in the men's dormitory, but living with a woman must be different."

David seized the opportunity to throw Lady Mary off the scent. He sighed as if he were about to reveal something. "You and I, we're friends, right?"

"Yes, absolutely."

David walked closer to Lady Mary, speaking softly. "Living with a woman is a bit different when it's a woman you fancy."

Lady Mary glanced at David's eyes to see if he was teasing. "Oh. You have feelings for her?"

"What man wouldn't? She's smart, fun, and attractive, a perfect combination."

As they arrived at the restaurant, Nora was ready to take over conversation again. Lady Mary feigned interest, but she was distracted by her disappointment in David's divulgement. She wished she hadn't pressed him. Confirming his attraction to women only made her feel envious. If he were interested in men, it would have made her feel better that he never made a pass at her.

David couldn't wait to relay the story to Thomas, and if ever the occasion ever arrived, Kait would be happy to play along. He played with George while Nora chatted on, smiling to himself about his quick thinking.

When they ordered their meals, David skipped rich and heavy foods and chose something light. He already had an appendix scar and wasn't excited about potentially adding one for his gallbladder.

Despite herself, Lady Mary wanted to know more about David's attraction to Kait. "Does she know how you feel?"

"No, no. I'm sure she doesn't think I'm interested."

"So you haven't made any overtures?"

David shrugged. "She's quite generous to welcome me into her home, I would hate to make her uncomfortable."

"So when you move out, then?"

"Perhaps then, yes."

Lady Mary adjusted her napkin on her lap. "Do you think she's interested?"

David traced the pattern on his crystal water glass absently. "She definitely thinks I'm handsome."

Nora wrinkled her nose. "Ech, I'm aware of the birds and the bees but can we not discuss it at the lunch table?"

"Are you?" Lady Mary said cooley. "We'll be having a chat about that later."

"My apologies, Miss Nora," David said. "You'll understand when you're older."

"I hope I don't."

Lady Mary wanted to ask how David knew that Kait found him attractive, but little ears were listening. She would invite them out next time she was in town, she decided. As their food arrived, Lady Mary cut George's meat and inspected David's plate. "Are you sure that's enough for you? I don't want you to leave hungry."

"It's my gallbladder," David blurted.

"What's a gallbladder?" Nora asked.

Lady Mary gave George his plate. "It holds bile from your liver."

"Ew! And you told me birds and bees weren't a suitable lunch topic."

David patted Nora's shoulder. "It's my fault. I brought it up."

"Will you be alright?" Lady Mary asked.

"Certainly, m'Lady."

"I suppose Kait can take care of you if you're not," Lady Mary teased as she cut into her lunch.

David smiled mischievously. "Hmm. Maybe surgery wouldn't be so bad after all."

After lunch, David walked Lady Mary and the children to their next destination, the park. He declined the invitation to join them, saying he had errands, and said his good-byes. His 'errand' was to rush back to the shop and relay the tale to Thomas.

He spent the afternoon in the shop to help Thomas, as Sam was having a day off. He called customers who hadn't come to pick up their repairs, cleaned the display cases, and organized the back room. It felt good to be busy, helpful, and to spend time with Thomas. At closing time, he closed out the register for Thomas and put the money in the safe, having remembered the combination since he was a boy.

"We should probably deposit some of this," David called to Thomas.

"Sure, boss. Put some in an envelope and we'll go by the bank on the way home."

David stacked bills neatly and put them in an envelope. He handed it to Thomas to examine before sealing it up.

Thomas extracted a bill and handed it to David. "For your work today."

David looked at the bill for a moment, and then accepted it. "I know arguing will do no good."

"No good at all," Thomas said, grinning.

"Figured," David said as he tucked the money into his billfold. He decided he would save the money for their night out Saturday and not let Thomas pay his way.

When Saturday came, David's stomach felt sour. He anticipated snarky commentary, smirking, and smugness from Teddy. He thought those were adorable qualities of Thomas's, but repulsive when it came from Teddy. The sense memory of Teddy's tobacco made him cringe. He hoped cigarettes smoked that evening would come from Thomas's case.

"My, my," David said with a whistle as Kait emerged from her room, dressed and made up. "No wonder I'm sweet on you."

Kait spun around, letting the fringe on her dress fly as she twirled. "Lil' ol' me?" she asked in a saccharine voice.

"I take it you told her about Lady Mary," Thomas observed.

Kait bounced over to David and put her hands on his chest. "My dapper and suave suitor! Embrace me, caress me, oh won't you lay your lips on mine? Put out the fire that burns in my-"

"Enough!" Thomas protested, laughing. "That's my suave suitor."

Kait looked back and forth from Thomas to David with faux dismay. She put her hands to her mouth and backed away from David. "No! No! Say it isn't so!"

David dropped to one knee and put a hand over his heart. "Forgive me! He means nothing to me, I swear to you. It's you I desire. Let me put out your raging fire with my powerful hose!"

Kait sat sidesaddle on David's thigh and put her arms around his neck. "Oh, David!" she sighed. "The fire rages down there, and my increasing wetness isn't putting it out."

Thomas put his hand under Kait's arm and pulled her to her feet. "Are you quite done?"

"I wasn't done," David said from his spot on the ground. "I want to hear more about this wetness."

"I could just show you," Kait offered cheerfully.

"Brilliant! Your bed or mine?"

Kait put her hand to her mouth like she was blocking Thomas from listening. "I was thinking the kitchen table."

Thomas let go of Kait's arm. "How long will this go on if I stop interfering?"

David rose to his feet and shrugged. "I don't know. Until we both climax?"

"Oh," Kait pouted. "Then I guess it's already over for me."

"That was easy," David said.

"What can I say, you have that effect on me."

Thomas held up a finger. "David, I don't want to hear one word about anything Teddy says or does tonight after that little performance."

David snapped his teeth at Thomas's finger. "If he sits on your thigh I might have something to say."

Kait clapped her hands. "This completes our pre-dinner theatre. Let's not leave our companions waiting, alright, boys?"

"You think you're getting out of this that easily?" Thomas asked as he stalked towards Kait.

"You're nothing to him," she whispered. "It's me he desires. Me!"

Thomas wrapped an arm around Kait's waist and pulled her against him. "This isn't about him. It's about us."

"Me and you?"

Thomas leaned into Kait's lips as if he were going to kiss them. His eyes were hooded and he spoke softly. "Me and you."

"Oh, Thomas," she giggled. "Now I really do need change my underthings before we leave."

Thomas grunted and let go of Kait. "You always have to get one up on me."

"Come back!" Kait said, puckering her lips.

Thomas glared at her, smiled devilishly, and then kissed her waiting lips quickly.

"Hey!" David whined.

Kait fanned herself. "Don't complain. You can kiss me, too."

David stared at Thomas, then held Kait by the shoulders and kissed her lips.

"Okay Thomas, your turn to top David," Kait said. "My brassiere unclasps in the front."

Thomas put his hands towards Kait's chest. She crossed her arms and squealed.

"I knew that was an empty offer."

"I'll take you up on it," David said, holding his jacket open to Thomas.

"Eh, it's not the same," Thomas said with a shrug. "Alright, you strange little beasts, we really do need to leave now."

Kait grabbed her purse from the coffee table and stepped into her shoes. "Sure, but I'm sleeping between you both tonight, so be ready."

"I'm ready!" David said as he held Kait's coat for her to slip on. They linked arms and headed to the hallway.

"Sure, I'll lock up!" Thomas called as he followed them.

Kait invited Eric and Teddy to join the trio for piano music and drinks before they would cross the street for dinner at a restaurant where she secured a semi-private table in a corner. Teddy suggested cards at his home after, and Kait had gotten David to promise he would join. David wasn't happy about it, but Kait's presence made it a more comfortable proposition.

Teddy and Eric were already seated at a table in the club. Their legs were crossed in opposite directions from one another. Eric chatted with an older couple at an adjacent table while Teddy watched the pianist.

David could tell from a distance that Teddy had already had a fair amount to drink and he told Thomas as much.

"Please don't start before we even say hello," Thomas implored him.

Eric saw them approaching and moved over a seat. He waived for Kait to sit between him and Teddy. Thomas pulled the chair out next to Teddy and told David to sit. David sat begrudgingly but kept his comments to himself.

"Looking elegant this evening," Teddy told David. "New suit?"

David wanted to say that Thomas bought it for him, but instead simply said, "It is. Thank you."

"I figured. You've gone up at least a size, haven't you?"

"Sizing me up, eh?" David replied, earning him a look from Thomas.

Teddy laughed and looked at Thomas. "Does my appraising your man's physique offend you?"

"Not at all," Thomas replied, looking at David. "He's very obviously larger."

"A strapping lad," Teddy agreed. "Don't you think so, Eric?"

Eric excused himself from his conversation. "Sorry, what?"

"Nothing, love," Kait answered. "Why don't you introduce me to your new friends here?"

When Eric and Kait were engaged with the couple, David shook his head at Teddy. "How much did you drink before we got here?"

"Before you got here? Davey I've been drinking since noon."

"Don't call me that."

"Why? What does Thomas call you?"

David didn't look at Thomas, knowing he was likely fuming already. "David, Teddy. He calls me David."

"Eric and Thomas call me Ted, but you call me Teddy. So why can't I call you Davey?"

Thomas leaned forward. "That's what his father called him, alright? So why don't we let it be."

"Oh," Teddy said, backing down. "I just thought you didn't like that kind of familiarity with me."

"It's not all about you," David sneared.

"Hey!" Thomas said, nudging David. "We just got here. We haven't even ordered a drink. The both of you, stop it."

Kait looked over her shoulder at Thomas. "Down a notch," she whispered.

Thomas nodded. "David. Ted. Please stop."

"It's the tension that remains between us," Teddy said, winking at David.

David turned to Thomas. "It's him right now, not me."

"Enough." Thomas said emphatically to David. "And you, too, Ted. I'll go get the drinks myself, and when I return, I don't want to hear another word."

Teddy watched Thomas walk away. He put his feet up on Thomas's chair and leaned back. "Are you happy that he's irritated with me, too, little firebrand?"

"Yes. Whatever turns him off of you makes me very happy. Keep pushing his buttons, please."

"You pretend like you're joking."

"Who knows, maybe I am, maybe I'm not."

Teddy laughed and finished his drink. He sat up and shifted himself into Thomas's chair. Leaning into David's ear, he whispered, "Poison him against me and I'll make sure you're the one who's poisoned next."

"I don't have to poison him against you. You're doing a fine job of that yourself."

"You know, when you were gone, I took an opportunity I was given to get close to him. Physically. You should know the only reason it ended before it got good was because Eric was there."

David grinned, baring his teeth. "I know you tried, and I know Eric stopped you. Thomas already told me. He tells me everything."

"Bully for you," Teddy whispered. He reached into his jacket and pulled out his cigarettes and lighter. "Would you care for one?"

David's lip curled. "The smell makes me ill."

"How? Thomas smokes."

"Not the smell of cigarettes. The smell of *your* cigarettes."

"Oh, I see," Teddy said as he put a cigarette between his teeth. "Thomas seems to think they smell, and taste, just fine."

David waved Teddy off. "You can goad me all you like. I'm confident in my relationship." David looked over at Eric, who was still engaged in conversation with Kait and the couple. "Can you say the same?"

Teddy slammed his lighter on the table harder than he had intended. "Why? What did Thomas tell you?"

David blinked. "What? Nothing. I only noticed he put Kait between the two of you. Well, and Thomas said Eric seemed to need some cheering up. Put two and two together, that's it."

Thomas returned with two drinks, and when Teddy didn't switch back to his seat, Thomas shrugged and took Teddy's.

"Yours, dear," Thomas said as he handed David a cocktail.

"Thank you. I need it."

"Tell me you were both listening to the music while I was gone."

Teddy looked over his shoulder at Thomas and smiled. "Intently." He turned back to David with the same smile. "Since you aren't a fan of my cigarettes, why don't we take a walk outside while I finish this one?"

David recoiled. "Why?"

"Because I asked you nicely."

David downed his drink and slid the glass to the middle of the table. "Fine."

"Where are you going?" Thomas asked as the two men rose from their seats.

Teddy patted David's shoulder. "He already finished his drink. We're off to get another."

"No fisticuffs," Thomas told David.

"I promise," David said, patting his heart. He let Teddy lead him to the side door. It exited to an empty alley. When the door closed behind them, only the low notes of the piano made it to their ears.

Teddy left his smile back in the club. He looked drained, in addition to being drunk.

"What do you want, Teddy?"

"Eric told me he shared some private information with Thomas. So now that I need an ear, I don't feel like I can go to Thomas. It'd put him in the middle."

David crossed his arms, shielding himself from the breeze that found its way down the alley. "So tell another friend."

"You know me and you know Eric. Do you think you could be a friend for the next five minutes or so?"

David laughed as he shivered. "Your friend?! We just had an argument and now you want to bend my ear?"

Teddy took off his jacket and offered it to David.

"I have one, thank you."

"Put this over it. I'm three sheets to the wind, so the wind isn't bothering me." When David didn't protest further, Teddy put his jacket over David's shoulders.

David closed his eyes as he sighed. "Fine. What's the matter?"

Teddy took a long drag, his cheeks sucking inward as he inhaled. "Here's the story, as simply as I can put it. Eric likes it very, very rough. So rough he endures injuries. I can't - I can't bring myself to do what he wants, so he gets it elsewhere."

"Oh," David replied, still shivering while his body warmed up beneath the extra jacket. "Which part concerns you? His being hurt, or his seeking it from another source?"

Teddy contemplated the question. "My gut reaction was to say his being hurt, since it would be hypocritical of me to be upset about another man."

"How does he know this other man? Is it a friend?"

Teddy scoffed. "Friends aren't people you pay for sex."

"Oh," David said again. "Are you upset that he's paying for it?"

Teddy shook his head slowly. "No. I guess not."

David brushed newly fallen snowflakes from his sleeve. "And the other man, or other men in your life - does Eric know them?"

"I should say so. He's almost always there, too."

David pulled the jacket in around himself. "Then it seems you're not just upset he's getting hurt, you're upset it's happening completely separately from his life with you."

Teddy nodded. "I think you're right. So what do I do? What now?"

"I can't tell you how to solve your problem, Teddy."

"No, I know, but what are your thoughts?"

David was dubious, but Teddy seemed lost and desperate, and so he offered friendly advice. "If it were me, I'd ask that he invite me next time."

Teddy shook his head quickly. "God, I can't bare witness."

"You never know. Maybe it'll help you understand the whole thing better. You might even become comfortable doing it for him after that."

"Doesn't it concern you that he wants to be abused?"

David shrugged. "It's not for us to criticize. He likes it and he's going to do it no matter what, so why shouldn't he do it with the man he loves?"

Teddy hung his head and flicked his cigarette butt at the ground. "God, you're right. You're right, you're right. I knew you'd have the answer."

"Why did you think I would have an answer?"

Teddy laughed the first honest laugh David had heard from him in years. "Because, you horse's arse, you're kind and loving, and clever and thoughtful, and dammit, you're even a good boyfriend, too. There are many, many reasons why I wanted you for myself, and why I'm still hurt you didn't want me."

"You certainly know how to hold a grudge."

"Has your heart even been broken, David?"

David rolled his eyes, but he thought to himself that his heart hadn't ever been broken romantically, not really. "Irrelevant. It's time to move on, for you especially."

"For Eric, more importantly."

"And Thomas, while we're at it. Are you willing to bury the hatchet?"

"In your back?"

"Teddy."

Teddy let out a sharp grunt. "I'll try, alright?"

David handed Teddy his jacket. "Alright. Let's go back in there. Remember, we have to stop at the bar on our way back."

"What are you going to order for me?"

"A water."

"Straight up!"

When they returned to their group, Thomas felt David's hand under the table. "You're freezing! Is it snowing at the bar, too?"

Teddy fell into his seat and held his glass of water up. "To you, David."

David shh'd Teddy. "Listen to the music, would you?"

Teddy put his arm around Kait's chair and focused on the stage.

Thomas squeezed David's hand again and whispered, "You smell like his tobacco, you know."

"You don't have to tell me."

"What did he want?"

"To make amends. Now you listen to the music, too."

With everyone finally quiet and watching the performance, David took a moment to look around the table. As much as he resented Teddy, it was a comfort to be out for the evening with a group of friends. It had been a luxury not long ago, and now it was just a Saturday. He sipped his second cocktail and allowed himself to begin to unwind.

The snowflakes disappeared by the time they walked to dinner. Kait was seated first, and then Thomas to her left and Eric to her right, leaving David and Teddy side by side. They exchanged tight smiles as they took their seats.

Teddy commended Kait on her choice of restaurant, and she told him she hoped he wasn't too drunk to taste his meal.

"I can still feel my tongue, worry not," he replied.

"Speaking of tongues, I got a kiss from both of my roomies before we left our place," Kait said.

"Excuse me?" Eric laughed.

"Well not with any tongue!" David retorted.

Teddy shook his head. "Some defense."

"We were only playing," Thomas added.

Eric laughed again. "I agree with Ted, this really isn't making it sound any less intriguing."

"These two like having a go at me," Thomas said, pointing two fingers at David and Kait. "I knew they'd team up on me, but I shacked up with them both, anyhow."

Teddy retrieved a cigarette and lit it with the ambient candle on the table, ignoring the disapproving reaction he garnered from both Eric and Thomas. Before the waiter could ask for drink orders, Teddy requested two bottles of wine for starters. He told the waiter, matter-of-factly, that he would be paying for everything to come, and then told his four companions to pipe down when they rebuffed.

"I just want to say that… I love you all," Teddy said, slurring slightly. "Even you, David, you loathsome louse," he continued with a chuckle, "I love you, too."

"Well I don't know about everyone else," David said, looking around to confirm other patrons were out of hearing range, "but I found that overture to our meal quite moving. Thank you Teddy, you pompous prick, I love you as well."

"Me next, me next!" Kait requested sarcastically. "Someone call me names and tell me you love me."

Teddy put his arm across the back of David's chair. "We taunt one another, but there's always been a connection between us at the bottom of it. Wouldn't you agree, David?"

"Where's that waiter with our wine?" David asked.

Eric tapped the side of his foot against Teddy's. "I think we all appreciate your newly rediscovered affection for our friend here, but why don't we put a pin in that for the moment, hmm?"

"Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No, my dear. But I think it's time to move on to other topics."

Teddy rolled his head to David. "Am I making *you* uncomfortable?"

"Oh my, no. There's nothing I'd rather discuss amongst friends than the underlying connection you've always felt between us. In no way, no way whatsoever, is this uncomfortable for me, or for anyone else at this table."

"Well good," Teddy said, patting David on the shoulder. "I'd hate to make things awkward."

The waiter returned with assistance, and between the two men, carried five glasses and two carafes. Teddy gestured to Thomas to taste and approve the wine, and once approval was provided, he scanned the faces at the table while the wine was poured. He thanked the waiters and watched them walk away. He held up his glass and turned to David. "Why don't you make a toast?"

"Sure," David said, raising his glass. "You're all weird and wonderful, even the windbag to my left. I'm glad we're together, and thank you in advance, windbag, for treating us this evening."

"Hear hear," Teddy said a bit too loudly. He clinked glasses and took a sip. "Mmm. Heavenly."

"It is," Eric said, "why don't you make sure you take your time and savor it?"

David smiled across Teddy at Eric. "It's alright, really. He's happy and he's being more kind to me than he's been in years."

Teddy grinned. "Well, I was pretty kind to you a year ago, wouldn't you say?"

Eric kicked Teddy's foot, but the words were already out of his mouth.

Thomas had been observing quietly, but he jumped on Teddy's question. "How do you mean?"

Eric stared at Teddy until he turned towards him.

"Oh, who cares anymore, Eric? He's gone and come back already."

"What are you talking about?" Thomas asked with urgency.

Teddy ran his hand through his hair and then returned his arm to David's chairback. "I contributed some resources so that David could go to Australia, that's all."

"What kind of resources?" David asked, feeling as queasy as he was uneasy.

"All of the necessary resources, actually," Teddy answered.

Thomas looked at Eric and then back to Teddy. "Why? If you were so angry with David."

"For him" Teddy said, nodding toward Eric. "And you, and even, yes, you," he said, pointing to Thomas and then David. "Not to get the two of you apart or whatever else you might be thinking. Eric suggested the whole thing, and upon some contemplation, I agreed to help. What's the issue?"

"The issue is that you both lied to us," Thomas replied flatly.

Teddy made a show of hanging his head before he replied. "Don't blame Eric, I asked him not to give the details of where he got the money. He was so passionate about David's capabilities, and he tried extremely hard to find the funding himself. I was able to contribute a bit of money for Eric's happiness, and by extension, to the both of you, too. I think I made a wise investment on all accounts, and I'm not sorry. I didn't tell you because I felt the gesture might get misconstrued, that's all. Or worse, that David would refuse it."

Teddy's story was met with silence. Kait slid her chair back quietly and excused herself to the ladies' room.

David broke the pregnant pause. "Thank you, Teddy," he said, dazed. "I'm profoundly appreciative of your altruistic gift."

"I can't tell if you're putting one on. That was an awfully verbose 'thank you'."

David looked downhearted, but he shook his head. "I mean it."

Teddy moved his arm from the chair to David's shoulders. "In that case, you're welcome."

Thomas stared at Teddy's arm, then changed his gaze to his pocket as he hunted for his cigarettes and lighter. He wondered, perhaps, if the hostile tension between the two men had been more in his favor than rekindled friendship would be. What if Teddy switched his flirtatious attention from him to David? When he looked up, Teddy was smiling at him slyly, as if he had read his fretful thoughts. David spoke to Eric throughout the silent exchange, but Teddy leaned into David's ear and said something that made him laugh. Teddy looked back to Thomas and winked.

"Before Kait returns," Teddy began, "I owe you thanks as well, David. There's no point in dancing around this one anymore while we're airing secrets. Eric, you spoke to Thomas about...it, and I spoke to David about it, too. Well, David suggested that I go with you to see your man next time, and I think it's a brilliant idea. So what say you? Can I be invited?"

All three men looked at Teddy. Thomas and Eric's mouths were agape.

"Well?" Teddy pressed.

"Yes, yes, certainly," Eric replied. "I'd be ecstatic if you joined."

"Was this what the two of you discussed when you went to the bar earlier?" Thomas asked crisply.

David nodded. "Yes. Why do you sound so bothered by it?"

Kait approached the table cautiously. Eric pulled out her chair, but she remained standing. "I don't care for the energy I'm feeling from you all tonight. I think it's time for me to head home."

"No, please," Thomas said, jumping to his feet. "I'm sure we're all sorry for sullying the evening you planned for us. Aren't we?"

Three heads nodded.

Kait sat down slowly, let Thomas push in her chair, and then put her napkin back on her lap. "Not that any of you asked for my opinion, but you've wrapped me up in your drama this evening, so I feel welcome to tell you what I think. For goodness sakes, Teddy, learn how to have a platonic male friendship. You push yourself on Thomas, and now that you're chums with David, there you are, putting your hands all over him. And Thomas, David, you entertain his advances enough to keep encouraging him. All of you, keep your eyes and paws on your own boyfriend for the rest of the night. See what that feels like for a few hours."

Teddy took his arm from David and grabbed his glass of wine. "Does anyone else have a speech they would like to give this evening?" he said before sipping.

"I think we've had enough now," David replied.

"We've neglected you, Kait," Eric said. "How've you been? Have you seen any more of my lady friend since you tripped the light fantastic?"

Kait's answer was cut off as the first course of the set menu arrived. "I've been well, thank you," she answered as she eyed her plate. "And your friend and I are going roller-skating tomorrow."

"I didn't know you roller-skated," Thomas said with an amused grin.

"It's been a while. I don't mind if I fall down, it just means she'll have to take me in her arms to help me up."

"Clever," Thomas replied.

"Now everyone here will be suspicious if I invite them roller-skating," Teddy quipped.

Eric rubbed Teddy's thigh. "You can skate with me any time."

"What time are your plans?" Teddy asked. "I thought maybe we could all take a little trip in my airplane tomorrow. I have to take it out, anyhow."

"We're meeting early, but I hope it doesn't end early. Go without me."

David eyed Teddy's glass. "If you're planning to fly tomorrow, maybe start taking it easy on the alcohol."

"This is the pilot's way, dear David. The drunker I am tonight the straighter I'll fly tomorrow."

Thomas finished his last bite and put down his fork. "Where will you take us?"

"Where do you want to go?"

David answered before Thomas could. "I want to see the island Thomas described to me, if we could."

"Absolutely. I'm glad he liked it enough to tell you about it."

Eric hadn't touched much of his food. He was too busy thinking through all of the possible outcomes of bringing Teddy with him to see his man Jacob. It had never entered his mind as a real possibility. He still wasn't clear Teddy's end game; to try and understand it, to stop feeling excluded, or to participate? Maybe all three. Eric certainly hoped the third option was true.

The men behaved for the remainder of the evening, even playing cards amicably back at Teddy and Eric's. On the way home, Thomas apologized to Kait for putting her in a parental position, and Kait said she would accept the apology so long as it didn't happen again.

In bed later, Thomas wrapped himself tightly around David. He couldn't wait to hold his hand in the airplane, on the island, and especially at the water's edge.

The day was colder and cloudier than Thomas's previous flight, but the sensation of flying through the clouds made him feel at peace. The plane itself was loud, but the men were mostly quiet, each feeling the serenity in the sky that morning. Thomas played with the flat stone in his pocket, a souvenir he took on his last visit.

Landing was a tad bumpy due to the wind, but Teddy brought the plane to rest expertely. He was only a hint hungover, and had some crackers with him to make sure it didn't become more than a hint. After turning off the airplane, he climbed out and helped his friends to the ground one by one, with David last out of the plane

"How was my flying?" Teddy asked as he offered his hand to David.

"Excellent," David replied, taking Teddy's hand to get down. "You could have pushed me out when we were up there, but you didn't. I appreciate it."

Teddy patted David on the back. "The thought didn't even cross my mind. Who have I become?"

Thomas put out his elbow for David to take. "Care to stretch your legs?'

David pulled his scarf tighter around his neck and threaded his arm through Thomas's. "Yes, please. Lead the way."

Thomas beamed as he walked the island with David, fully absorbed in the joy of being out in the daylight with his love on his arm, even if it was in a place where no one could see them. The sun filtered through the clouds and warmed their cheeks, and Thomas stopped for a moment to kiss David before continuing their constitutional.

The ground transitioned from smooth sand to stone, and David held onto Thomas tighter as their steps became less stable. When they were close enough to almost touch the water, Thomas pulled his stone from his pocket and held it in his palm.

"I longed for you so badly the last time I was on this spot," Thomas said. "I would've done anything just to have your arm in mine."

David put his cheek on Thomas's shoulder. "I'm sorry, my love."

"I don't say it to make you feel sorry, just to explain why I'm especially happy to stand here with you today."

"You're the sweetest man."

"On this whole island?"

David laughed and squeezed Thomas's arm. "That's certain."

Thomas held the stone out to David. "I saved this one last time for you. Care to skip it?"

David took the stone from Thomas's fingers. "Why this one in particular?"

"I don't know. Maybe having it with me made me feel hopeful, knowing you'd get to skip it here some time."

"Well, little stone," David said, "thank you for keeping Thomas company, but I'm back, so it's time for you to stay out of his trousers." David took a few steps away from Thomas, pulled his arm back, and let go. The stone hopped six times before it disappeared.

Thomas rocked back on his heels. "My word, you really gave it to that poor rock."

"He knew it was coming. Here, your turn," David said, selecting a stone for Thomas.

Letting out a breath as he focused, Thomas threw his stone in the direction of David's, skipping five times.

David tossed Thomas another, and this time Thomas made it even further than David's stone.

"I love throwing things," David said with a contented sigh. "Mind if I keep going?"

Thomas chuckled. "Please, continue." He took a few steps back and watched David pitch rock after rock.

David's heartbeat rose as he threw nearly two dozen stoness, his vision a tunnel to his imagined bullseye, his ears focused on the sound of the rocks on the water. He let his shoulders relax when he was finished and stared in the direction of the stones while he waited for his breathing to return to normal.

Thomas gave David his space, stepping back a bit while David threw the stones, but never taking his eyes off of him.

"That was refreshing," David yelled over his shoulder.

"Have you ever considered joining some team or league?" Thomas asked as David approached.

David clapped his hands together to get off the last bits of sand. "No, not especially. Why? Would you join one with me if I did?"

Thomas squinted off into the distance as he thought over the question. "What kind of team would let an old man join?"

"Oh sod off," David said as he put his gloves on. "You're a better sportsman than most men half your age."

"We could take up wrestling," Thomas said with a smile.

"Only if it's the classical kind of wrestling."

"What does that mean?"

"In the nude."

Thomas took David by the arm and began walking once again. "I'm trying to come up with something that will feel energized like you do right now."

"What about tennis?"

Thomas shrugged. "Never played much. That's kind of a posh sport, isn't it?"

"No, not exclusively."

"If you say so. I'd give it a try if you're serious."

David shivered and pulled himself tighter to Thomas. "I am. How nice would it be to have a hobby like that together? We could play one another, or play against another pair. It has potential, I think."

Thomas grinned and looked down at David. "Do you think we'll be a good match against one another?"

"Very well matched, if I dare say," David said, smiling up at Thomas, "and good luck to anyone who tries to team up against us."

Eric waved as he saw Thomas and David in the distance. "Are you boys freezing? I'm freezing! Let's go in the lighthouse!"

Thomas and David followed Eric down a path that wound up a series of small hills, leading to a decommissioned lighthouse at the highest point. The red and white paint was chipped, the windows cracked, and the front door hung on by rusted hinges, but the structure still offered shelter from the cold and wind.

"Did you have a look out of the top last time?" Eric asked.

Thomas shook his head and looked up the winding staircase. "Is it safe to climb up there?"

Eric nodded. "Go up, it's a beautiful view."

David scooted past Thomas, who was still wary of the rickety stairs. "I survived!" he called when he reached the top.

Thomas began climbing, gripping the railing. "Are you coming?" he asked Eric.

"I went up while you were walking. You know how to get back?"

"Yes, why?"

Eric put his hands on his hips. "So you can have a private moment with David."

Thomas smiled. "It's still a little cold for that, even in here."

"I just meant you should go have a romantic moment looking out at the ocean."

"Alright, I'm going, I'm going."

David's face was practically pressed against the curved glass window facing in on the island, and he began rambling once he heard Thomas approach. "It's so pretty, look how far we walked. I see the remnants of a foundation, there must've been a caretaker who lived here or something. Can you imagine? I suppose at least the lighthouse keeper might have had a friend. Or what if they hated one another? Two men on an island. Either way I bet it was interesting."

Thomas hugged David from behind and rested his chin on David's shoulder. "What else happened on this island?"

David thought for a moment. "Few people know it, but this was the true home of the very last dodo."

"Was it, now?"

"Yes, it's a fact. If you listen closely on a quiet evening, you can still hear its shrill cry rolling in from the water, where it took its last ragged breaths before plunging into the sea."

"Did the dodo have a shrill cry? I wasn't aware."

"I can't say for sure," David said solemnly, "but that's what legend tells about Last Dodo Island."

Thomas pulled David close. "What was the last dodo's name?"

"Phil."

Thomas laughed. "I think you're the last dodo."

David turned his head and kissed Thomas. "You say the most romantic things."

"I want to see the view from the other side," Thomas said, taking David by the hand as they crossed to the opposite side of the lighthouse.

"I know we saw it all from the sky," David said, "but this is the most beautiful spot yet."

"Certainly feels like you can see to infinity."

David surprised Thomas, clutching his face in his chilly gloved hands, planting a firm kiss that led quickly to deep, languid kissing. Waves crashed against the rocks, sending a spray of sea foam all the way up to the window in front of them. The waves were measured, the same number of smaller crashes happening before large, repeating almost musically. David subconsciously kissed Thomas to the same rhythm, letting nature decide when to kiss lightly and when to go deeper. His hands never wandered from Thomas's face, his lips never strayed lower. All he wanted was to kiss his man in the little lighthouse while only the sea looked on.

Thomas gave himself over to David's kissing, breathing in the scent of the ocean mixed with David's cologne, tasting the salt air on David's warm lips. The sun took over the sky, shooing away the clouds, and shone straight through the window, casting Thomas and David's entwined shadows against the wall behind them. "How I love you," Thomas whispered between kisses.

"Why whisper?" David asked, rubbing his nose against Thomas's. He leaned back and declared, "I love this man!" as if shouting it to the world.

The two laughed and held on to each other, switching back and forth between kissing and looking into one another's eyes dreamily.

"You make me wildly happy," Thomas breathed.

"Good. I want you to have all the happiness in the world."

Thomas pressed his forehead against David's. "It's probably time to go back."

David clutched the lapels of Thomas's coat. "No," he whined slowly, "let them come get us if they want us."

"Eric said he'd be in the plane. I doubt he's leaving to trek back here."

"I know, you're right," David conceded. "Oh well, I can't complain for one second. This was like a dream."

"Even though all you got was a kiss?"

"'All'? The hell you say," David rebutted, kissing Thomas one last time. "I would take a kiss like this over anything else, hands down. Any time. No question."

Thomas straightened David's hat for him and adjusted his scarf. "You're becoming more of a romantic, aren't you, my darling?"

"I'd like to think so."

They walked hand in hand back to the plane, smiling and chatting, taking their time as they descended back to flat land.

"How was the view?" Teddy asked as he helped his friends back into the airplane.

"Arousing," David replied.

"I thought you said it was too cold," Eric said to Thomas.

Thomas shook his head. "He just doesn't want either of you to think he's more interested in romance than shagging."

"Oh, I believe it," Teddy said. "He's been turning into an adult since he met the likes of you."

"Excuse me?" David said as he took his seat. "What does that mean?"

"Don't, Teddy," Eric warned.

Teddy locked the door and shook the handle to make sure it was secure. "They both know how he was. I was paying them a compliment. David needed someone to guide him forward," Teddy said, sitting in the pilot's seat, "away from his boyish behavior. He's more mature now, and that's Thomas's doing."

"A backhanded compliment, but a compliment none-the-less," David said blandly.

"No, you're wrong, Ted," Thomas rebutted. "That's all David's doing. He's kinder to himself now."

"Because of you," David said.

Thomas waved them both off. "We're good for eachother, I'll agree to that much."

"Lovey-dovey, fluffy rubbish is over now," Teddy said, strapping in. "Time to depart."

"When are you both going off to see Eric's man?" David asked once they were up in the air.

Eric smiled at Teddy. "Tonight."

"So soon!" David gasped. "Good on you, Teddy!"

"I didn't have much say in the matter, but thank you just the same."

"Oh sure you did," Eric said, "you lovey-dovey, fluffy man."

David put his hands behind his head and watched the ground below. "I want a full report afterwards."

"Mind your business," Thomas tsk'd.

"You're just worried he'll get ideas," Teddy called back.

David bit his lower lip. "I'm sure I've earned a spanking for one thing or another."

"Oh, you have," Thomas replied.

The foursome parted ways after landing, with Thomas and David heading off to make lunch and enjoy the quiet flat while Kait was out for the day. Teddy couldn't help checking the clock frequently as the day wore on. He was thankful they were going that evening so he didn't have time to back out, but how he wished he could.

Teddy was ready to run back to the car as soon as Eric pressed the buzzer, but he kept his feet planted firmly while they waited to be buzzed in. The building was on par in character to Thomas and Kait's, but the neighborhood left much to be desired. Teddy followed Eric up the steps, falling further behind him as they climbed. He did a double take when Jacob opened the door. Teddy had built up the image of a massive, masculine man tying up and degrading Eric, but before him stood a petite man who bordered on pretty.

Jacob motioned for the two men to enter the living room. It wasn't the dungeon Teddy had also created in his imagination, but he figured there was a separate room for those kinds of activities. Jacob shook Eric's hand and introduced himself to Teddy as if the two had just arrived for a dinner party. However, Jacob was quick to get down to business.

"I have rules that must be followed," Jacob said as Eric helped himself to a glass of water that was already waiting on the coffee table.

"I'll follow them to the last letter," Teddy promised.

Jacob began counting on his fingers as he listed the rules. "Eric will be safe at all times. You must trust me on that. We've worked together for some time. So rule number one, don't try and call off the fun because you're scared for him."

"Alright."

"Number two, when I tell you to do or say something, you act immediately. Anyone in that room with me is required to obey my words."

"...alright."

"Number three, Eric is my client and I am fulfilling a service here. If you break rules one or two, you will have to return to this room and wait until he's done. Services will be rendered tonight whether you're included in them or not."

Teddy nodded.

"Good. Do you have any questions?"

"I do. A question regarding rule number two. What do you plan to ask me to do to Eric?"

Jacob undid his cufflinks and began rolling up his sleeves. "You'll learn how to do some of the things I do for him."

Teddy looked from Jacob to Eric and back. "Wh-what will that entail?"

Jacob looked to Eric. "Get undressed."

Eric began undressing without hesitation.

"Am I keeping my clothes on?" Teddy asked.

Jacob stared deep into Teddy's eyes. "Did I ask you to undress?"

"No, but-"

"Then there's your answer."

Teddy could hear his heartbeat in his ears, feel his veins throb in his wrists, and he felt sweat gathering at his brow. He looked over to Eric, who was down to his last bits of clothing. Teddy swallowed hard when Eric dropped his last items and stood up, revealing that he was already as hard as Teddy had ever seen him. Eric kept his eyes downcast, too worried about what he might find in Teddy's eyes if he met them.

Jacob took Eric by the hand and began leading him out of the room. "Follow me," he said to Teddy without looking at him.

The room they entered was a dimly lit bedroom with walls covered in dark wallpaper with furniture to match. As Teddy's eyes adjusted to the light, he saw rows of Jacob's tools and toys hung on the wall as if it were a workshop. Half of the room was empty of furniture and the floor there was bare hardwood. Jacob led Eric to that space, and Teddy followed Jacob's eyes upwards. Ropes, some with hooks, hung from above. Teddy shivered and cast his eyes to the floor.

"You," Jacob said, rousing Teddy. "There's a collar and leather cuffs on the bed. Bring them to me."

Teddy retrieved the items and handed them to Jacob with slightly trembling fingers. Eric still stared downward, and he looked almost sad, but he hadn't gotten any less hard in the meantime.

"Can I tell him I love him?" Teddy whispered to Jacob.

Jacob handed one of the cuffs to Teddy. "Yes, while you put this on him."

Teddy took Eric's wrist gently in his hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it before following Jacob's orders. "I love you," he whispered before kissing Eric's cheek.

"You can answer him," Jacob told Eric.

"I love you, too," Eric whispered back. He looked into Teddy's eyes. "I never knew a love this immense was even possible."

Jacob secured the collar around Eric's neck. He told Teddy, "Go sit on the end of the bed."

Teddy looked on as Jacob hooked Eric's wrists to two ropes, forcing him to stand up straight with his wrists high and wide apart. The black leather against Eric's skin began to awaken Teddy's desire. He wanted to run his tongue and fingers over Eric's entire body, though his stomach looked especially enticing the way he was displayed.

"So," Jacob began, tracing Eric's stomach exactly where Teddy longed to lick, "what's been troubling you lately?"

Eric swallowed against the tight collar.

Jacob walked a slow circle around Eric, making Eric shiver as he touched his skin lightly. "I asked you a question."

Eric watched Jacob walk to the wall and pick a wooden paddle. He gripped the ropes attached to his wrists and moaned through closed lips. "I'm sorry, sir. I've been feeling quite a bit guilty."

"About?"

Eric licked his lips and looked at Teddy. "About living with him, but not contributing anything."

"Yes you do," Teddy responded.

Jacob swung the paddle and hit Eric's backside with force. Eric winced and grunted, gasping slightly afterward as the sharp pain turned into a stinging burn. Jacob pointed the paddle towards Teddy. "I didn't ask you to speak. If you do it again, I'll hit him twice as hard, and not in such a forgiving area."

Teddy grabbed the bed beneath him, gripping the quilt so tightly his knuckles turned white. If he didn't physically hold onto the bed, he worried he may run out of the room and all the way home.

"Did you hear me?" Jacob pressed.

Teddy nodded quickly.

Jacob chuckled and ran the paddle lightly from Eric's ankle to the top of his outer thigh. He hit the back of Eric's thigh lightly. "So you're a freeloader?"

"I work and all, but what I earn in a week couldn't pay for even a single proper meal at Teddy's."

Teddy clenched his teeth and his breath grew ragged, not only from frustration, but because watching Eric struggle and sigh began having a noticeable impact on his own groin.

"If that were me, I'd think you were quite the burden," Jacob smirked. He hit Eric on the abdomen with the side of the paddle, making Eric jump and cry out.

"Hey! I didn't even say anything!" Teddy objected.

Jacob hit Eric even harder in the same spot. "I didn't hit him that time because of you. The second one, though, that's all your fault. Now, since you can't behave, get over here."

Teddy let go of the quilt that was still between his fingers. He approached reluctantly until he was almost chest to chest with Jacob. Jacob pressed the handle of the paddle into Teddy's palm. So Eric couldn't hear, he whispered, "confirm his fears and then hit him."

He worried if he didn't oblige and take over, he'd have to watch Jacob's intensity increase. He put his lips to Eric's ear and petted Eric's cock with the paddle. He held the handle harder while Eric rasped and trembled with anticipation.

"You," Teddy began in a sharp whisper, "are a pathetic leech. You cling to me, trying to suck up as much of my wealth, my status, my prosperity as you can, like the detestable parasite that you are."

Sweat gathered at Eric's temples. He let out a low, carnal growl through grinning teeth.

"Ah, so you agree with my assessment?" Teddy asked in a light voice. Before Eric could respond, Teddy hit him on the cock with the paddle.

Eric cried out something between a shout and a cackle. His eyes bore into Teddy's, a look in them beyond lust; it was almost animalistic. Sweat began running down Eric's cheekbone, and Teddy looked down as a droplet fell on his shoe.

Teddy tsk'd and shook his head. "Oh, that won't do. Jacob, could you please unhook him for a moment so he clean this up?"

Jacob unhooked one arm and then the other. Eric shook out his arms, and then Jacob told him to clasp his hands behind his back. Eric did so, resting his entwined hands on his backside. Jacob took a few moments to tie Eric from wrist to elbow, then kicked him so he fell to his knees.

Teddy looked down at Eric and hissed, "Lick it off."

Eric spread his knees apart to better balance himself without the use of his arms. He leaned down slowly and licked his drop of sweat.

"Good little devil," Teddy cooed as he petted Eric's head.

Jacob patted Teddy's crotch. "Take it out."

Teddy kept his eyes on Eric's as he undid his trousers. Eric licked his lips, salivating in anticipation.

Jacob took the paddle from Teddy. "Don't let him suck you off. Instead, fuck his face."

Teddy blinked and opened his mouth, but didn't respond, though his eyes gave away his concern

"And if you don't do what I said," Jacob warned as he sensed Teddy's hesitancy, "you'll have to watch while I fuck his face instead."

Teddy swallowed and nodded. He grabbed Eric by the hair, but before he went any further, he bent down and gave Eric a long, slow, deep kiss. Jacob didn't say anything about not kissing him first, he thought.

Eric licked his lips again, tipped his chin up, and opened his mouth.

"Now," Jacob said flatly.

Teddy closed his eyes and thrust, pausing when Eric gagged. He continued again slowly once he heard a moan from Eric, gripping Eric's hair tighter as he picked up his pace. He opened his eyes and saw that the edges of Eric's lips were turned up in a smile. Eric felt Teddy's gaze and opened his eyes, the smile growing in response to the libidinous look on Teddy's face.

"You like this, don't you?" Jacob asked Teddy. "Taking advantage of this weak, powerless sycophant."

"That's what you are, isn't it, Eric?" Teddy asked, darkness in his voice. "You're good to me just to get what you want, you greedy little guttersnipe."

Eric said "uh huh" as best he could with Teddy in his mouth. He was so turned on by Teddy that he began shivering just a little, becoming lightheaded as more and more blood left his brain for other places.

Teddy pulled himself out of Eric's mouth and rubbed the head of his cock across Eric's lips. Eric whined and moaned, opening wide, hoping Teddy would keep going.

"You want it too much," Teddy whispered. "No more for you," he said softly. He took a step back and made Eric watch him stroke himself instead.

Jacob stood behind Teddy. He looked into Eric's eyes, then replaced Teddy's hand with his own. Teddy sighed and closed his eyes, then let his head roll sideways as Jacob began kissing his neck. When he opened his eyes, Eric was breathing hard, gazing up at him with a longing more intense than Teddy had ever seen in any man.

"I love you," Eric mouthed so that Jacob couldn't hear.

Teddy smiled, feeling like he could nearly cry. The last thing he expected from the evening was for it to feel romantic. Though, he thought, it was certainly the most vulnerable and intimate a man had ever been with him.

"What about my cock?" Eric asked Jacob.

Jacob let go of Teddy abruptly and jumped for Eric, pulling him to his feet by the collar. He pulled him to the bed and bent him over it, then pushed Eric's face down to the mattress. "What about you? Who the hell do you think you are? Ted, get that red whip."

Teddy followed Jacob's direction, taking the only red whip he saw down from the wall. He wondered if Eric knew Jacob would go for the whip, and whether he spoke out of turn on purpose.

"Don't give it to me," Jacob said. "You're going to do it. He took me away from you, afterall."

Teddy looked at the door as if someone might burst through and save him. "I-I can't make him bleed."

"Who said you have to?"

"But he likes it that hard, doesn't he?"

Jacob put his hand on Teddy's shoulder and whispered, "He'll like whatever you're willing to give him. If it's not as hard as I usually go, I don't think he'll care for a second. Now," he continued, louder so Eric could hear, "do it or I'll have to."

Teddy rested the whip on Eric's tied arms, and in response Eric raised his backside in the air and moaned. Teddy held his breath, held the whip back, and brought it down on Eric's backside with a crack. Eric bit the sheets and grunted loudly.

"See?" Jacob whispered. "I think he liked that just fine."

Teddy nodded, then hit Eric three times in succession. Eric groaned and sighed, wiggling his arms against the ropes as if he had a hope of getting a hand free to stroke himself. With Teddy's next strikes, Eric began grinding against the bed.

"You know that's against the rules," Jacob said firmly. He pulled Eric to his feet, then turned him around and told him to sit.

Teddy wanted to relieve Eric's agony and envelop Eric's needy, pulsing cock with his tongue. He didn't even notice that Jacob grabbed something black, rigid, and phallic until he was holding the thing in front of Eric's face.

"Say you're sorry, and I'll let you sit on this," Jacob told Eric.

"I'm sorry," Eric whispered.

Jacob petted Eric's head. "Now suck it until it's wet enough for you."

Eric obeyed without a moment's pause, and Teddy watched with morbid fascination. He wasn't sure why it turned him on so much to watch Eric lick the thing, but he made a mental note to ask Jacob where one might procure a similar item.

"That's enough, that's enough," Jacob said lightly. He helped Eric up again, and Eric met Teddy's curious gaze as he sat back down. His eyes rolled back, he sighed with contentment, and nuzzled his cheek against Jacob's hand as he petted him once more. "Good lad, Eric," Jacob whispered.

Jacob gave a come-hither gesture with his index finger, and Teddy followed, stopping a step from Eric when Jacob put up his hand. "Time to get back to it," he said, stepping behind Teddy again. Teddy laughed nervously as Jacob's hand plunged into his trousers, pulling him out again, close enough that Eric could have touched it if not for his hands being tied behind his back.

Teddy swallowed and steadied himself on his feet. He petted Eric's head as Jacob had, and then ran his fingers over Eric's cheekbone. Eric turned his face and licked Teddy's middle finger, then wrapped his mouth around it. Teddy groaned and sighed, growing harder in Jacob's hand as Eric included Teddy's ring finger in his sucking.

"When you're ready," Jacob whispered, "you'll finish on him. Then you'll finish him with your hand."

Teddy nodded his head quickly, then pushed his two fingers further in Eric's mouth until he felt the back of Eric's throat. Eric moaned hungrily, desperately wishing he could participate, and loving that it wasn't permitted. He watched Jacob's hands at work, envious that it wasn't his hands on Teddy, or Jacob's hands on him. He was even a bit jealous that he was sharing Jacob at all, and the realization turned him on even more.

Eric was so in his head that he hadn't realized Teddy was about to climax. Teddy moaned as he started to cum, pulling Eric back to reality. They looked into one another's eyes, smiling, breathing deeply, not even needing to trade 'I love you's as the sentiment was obvious on both of their faces.

The moment Teddy was done, he sat next to Eric on bed, as close as he could, and ran his palm down Eric's torso, making it slick with his own cum. "Are you ready, my naughty beggar?"

Eric smiled and nodded. "I need it. Please, Ted. Please."

"'Please' what?"

"Please get me off," Eric panted.

Teddy wrapped his hand around Eric, savoring the delight and relief it gave Eric just to be touched. He gripped Eric firmly and began pumping slowly, letting his pace increase little by little. Goosebumps spread down Eric's back and legs, and his moans sounded both agonized and exultant at the same time. Teddy knew Jacob was in the room, but he had stepped somewhere into the darkness, and the moment felt private, just belonging to the two of them. Teddy kissed Eric tenderly, and Eric began crying softly. Teddy quickly sat back to look at Eric, and relaxed when he saw that Eric's tears were from happiness.

"Thank you," Eric sighed. "For all of this, for everything."

Teddy gripped Eric tighter still and pumped faster, and Eric's moans turned to gasps, and then cries of joy as he came. The wave came and went for a full minute before he was finally spent. He let his forehead fall to Teddy's shoulder and began crying openly, repeating the words "thank you" over and over.

Teddy wrapped his arms tightly around Eric, and barely noticed that Jacob knelt on the bed to ease the item out of Eric and untie his arms. Once free, Eric wrapped his arms around Teddy's waist and held him as close as he could.

"Thank you, too," Teddy whispered.

"For what?" Eric asked, sitting up so he could meet Teddy's eyes.

"For so many things," Teddy began, rubbing Eric's red wrists as he spoke. "For trusting me, for letting me into your life like this. I didn't understand it, any of it. I've been making you feel badly, so shame on me. I should've asked to come a long time ago so I could understand and support you. I'm sorry it took me so long to come around."

"If I may," Jacob said as he wrapped up the rope, "most people who find out about this kind of arrangement, they force their girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, whatever, to stop. You're a good man for coming around at all."

Teddy smiled. "Thank you for saying that."

"The last thing," Jacob began as he turned on a table lamp, "is exactly what you're doing. If you decide to do something like this at home, always comfort him afterwards, understand?"

"I understand."

Eric kissed Teddy's cheek. "Actually, the very last thing is cleaning up."

"Wrong," Jacob laughed. "The very, very last thing is having a cup of tea together before you leave."

"Tea after erotic misdeeds sounds delightful," Teddy said.

After getting cleaned up, having a cup of tea back in the living room, and retrieving their coats and hats, Teddy asked Jacob if he ever made house calls.

"Oh, my dear man," Jacob said with a grin, "I have an entire special kit for those occasions."

Teddy made plans with Jacob to come the following month, and as they shook hands good-bye, Jacob told Teddy, "Eric's never asked for someone to join him. It's as big a deal as you think it is, his bringing you here. You must be extremely special to him."

Teddy pulled Jacob to him and gave him a hug. "Thank you for helping me show him how special he is to me, too."

The ride home was quiet. Eric dozed off here and there, and Teddy counted his blessings over and over that he had requested David's advice at the piano bar. Deep down, he realized, he knew David would tell him to go along. After going, it was clear to Teddy that his relationship would not withstand the test of time if he continued to make Jacob a problem for Eric. It was time to really, truly let go of his grudge, embrace friendship, and keep learning how to be as good a partner as he felt Eric deserved.

"Can I ask one little thing?" Teddy asked Eric.

"Mmm? What is it?"

Teddy looked away from the road for a moment and smiled. "You know I didn't mean those nasty things I said, right?"

Eric grinned and chuckled. "That's why they call it role-playing. You were playing a role. A very sexy, mischievous role, I might add."

"And you know that I'm delighted you live with me, and it gives me great pleasure to share what I have with you?"

"I know that, too, my dear."

"And you know I'm going to invest in my own treasure trove of nefarious toys so I can take care of you when Jacob's not available?"

Eric no longer felt drowsy and his heart began beating quickly. "Do you mean it, Ted?"

Teddy reached over and stroked Eric's hair. "I think you mean, 'do you mean it, Sir'."

"That's the most romantic gesture I could've ever imagined."

"And they say romance is dead. Now may I ask you something?"

"Of course."

Teddy squeeze the wheel in his hand. "Would you prefer I keep the footman as a footman and not… well… a plaything?"

Eric played with the buttons on his coat sleeve. "I would never ask that of you. Plus we all have a good time together, don't we?"

"I've just been thinking about it lately. I'm all for including people in the bedroom, but it's beginning to feel a bit wrong now. Perhaps because I'm in a serious relationship for once. Maybe I'm growing out of the need to have a kept man since one actually wants to be with me of his own accord."

"It's completely up to you, Ted. You do what you feel is best. I'll support you either way."

"God, I do not deserve you."

"Careful now or I'll punish you for saying something like that."

Teddy grinned. "I won't lie, it did look a bit fun, being tied up and all."

Eric rested his hand on Teddy's thigh. "Well, if you'd like, you can find out in a month when we get our house call."

"Call him and tell him to bring extra rope, would you?"

"I'm sure that can be arranged," Eric said with a broad smile.

David pressed his palm against his aching side while he drew, practicing action poses of dogs as he watched them play in the park. He settled onto a bench after visiting Sam and Thomas for lunch, and could just see the shop from his seat. He had begun a children's book about the adventures of a dog lost while traveling with its owner, basing the dog on the shaggy pup he had drawn for the mournful woman. There were plenty of dogs approximately the same size running, leaping, and rolling in the grass, and he sketched as ideas came to him rapidly. He was so spellbound that he didn't notice that someone had joined him on the bench until they cleared their throat.

It took him another moment to recognize the woman. "Mrs. Manning!" he said, tipping his hat. "This is quite the coincidence, your name came up on my recent visit to Downton."

Mrs. Manning smiled and resisted looking over at David's drawing. "This world is quite small, isn't it? Though I must say it isn't too much of a coincidence, I just visited your family shop and saw you sitting here."

"Oh," David said, chuckling at himself, "I suppose that does make it a bit less synchronous. What brought you to the shop, if I might ask?"

"You may, of course. Mr. Manning bought a handsome wristwatch for me not long ago, and as his birthday is approaching, I wanted to return the favor. He could use a newer model. Now, if I might ask, what are you drawing?"

David smiled humbly. "Just some loose sketches for a project, nothing of consequence."

"Isn't that one of the most important parts of creation? The preparation?"

David's cheeks flushed. "Yes, absolutely, but it's a bit like looking into the pantry before the reveal of a beautiful cake, if that analogy makes sense."

Mrs. Manning's eyes crinkled with a warm smile. "What if I enjoy a peek in the pantry?"

"Then let me open the door for you," David replied, handing Mrs. Manning his sketchbook.

Mrs. Manning took it carefully in her gloved hands. "Well aren't these cheerful little things?" she said.

David was relieved when she handed the book to him without looking at other pages. Eyes on one page was enough for him to have a full-on blush.

"Is it for a magazine?" Mrs. Manning asked.

"No, not these. Just a personal project."

"You're very dodgy," Mrs. Manning laughed. "I won't pry any more, you've been a good sport."

David returned the laugh. "I'm sorry, you're not prying. I feel a bit silly about the project is all. I'm working on a few books for children. Mostly for my niece and nephews, really."

Mrs. Manning looked down at the page again. "That's marvelous! What a brilliant idea. Surely for all the work you're putting in, you would want a broader audience."

"Always, yes, but I'm a realist."

"A realist," Mrs. Manning asked gently, "or just a wee bit of a pessimist?"

The warmth in David's cheeks ran down his spine. He simply wanted to draw in the park, not have his ego questioned.

"David," Mrs. Manning continued, putting her hand on his, "you have a great talent, and you have already garnered some notoriety for it. We're all taught to have humility, but bully to that. Be proud of what you've accomplished, and keep pushing forward. I know you didn't ask for my advice, but I knew your parents well, and I can almost hear your mother saying these very things to you if she were sitting here instead of me."

David sucked in a sharp breath. He reached for his handkerchief as his nose began to run, but he refused to let his eyes tear up over the mention of his mother. "I'm sure you're right, and I've been championing myself, believe me. I just… I'm not going to build myself up so much that I wouldn't be able to stand the fall."

Mrs. Manning nodded, keeping quiet as she waited for David to say more.

"It's a competitive world, and I don't feel the need to be the head of the pack or something. I just want to be happy, and honestly, I'm quite happy these days."

"There's nothing wrong with feeling content."

"Thank you."

"But it's a crime to let fear stop you from living up to your potential."

Who the hell do you think you are, David thought. "I'm living up to my potential. I just spent a year of my life following my dreams."

"Yet I sense uncertainty about continuing in that direction."

Did Sam or Thomas say something when she visited the shop, David wondered. "I'm just having a rest after my travels. That's all."

Mrs. Manning looked up as her maid approached, two bags from her errands in hand. "I would like to continue this discussion another time. Would you care to join me and Mr. Manning for dinner next week?"

David wanted to say 'no thank you'. "Dinner sounds lovely, thank you."

"Excellent. Is there a woman in your life? If so, she is welcome to join."

"No. There's no woman," David replied, rising with Mrs. Manning.

"Shall we say Tuesday at my home?"

"Tuesday should be fine, thank you."

Mrs. Manning introduced her maid briefly, said goodbye with a kiss on each of David's cheeks, and walked to her car. David stomped off to the shop.

"Why on earth would I say anything?" Thomas retorted when red-faced David asked if he had a hand in Mrs. Manning's meddling. David hovered over Thomas's work bench, breathing heavily from walking over so quickly.

"This may sound crazy," Sam interrupted from the doorway, "but what if she's legitimately invested in your success?"

"It does sound crazy," David grumbled.

"Sour-puss," Sam muttered under his breath. "If someone was interested in my career, I wouldn't be a brat about it."

"Someone was interested in your career, Sam," David replied quickly. "That's why you own this shop and I don't."

Thomas put down his tools and jumped to his feet, placing his hands on David's shoulders. "Woah there, slow down, shall we? Don't blow this out of proportion."

"Too late for that," Sam said as he walked out of the room.

Thomas looked to make sure Sam was out of sight, then pulled David into a hug. "She certainly could've been a bit kinder with her delivery, it sounds. But her heart's in the right place."

David squeezed Thomas and nuzzled his cold lips into Thomas's neck. "I just wanted to draw some dogs, not have my entire life analyzed."

Thomas put a hand on the back of David's head and rocked from side to side. "I know, darling. It's not like it isn't already on your mind all the time."

David shook his head and held on tighter.

"Why don't you take off your coat and hat and have some tea with us?"

"Sam would probably throw me out on my ear," David murmured into Thomas's shoulder.

Thomas kissed David's forehead. "He's over it already, I'm sure."

David sighed and looked at the wall of clocks just past the doorway. "I have to head to the doctor, anyhow. Side isn't any better."

"Alright, then. I'll make you a nice meal tonight, and then run you a bath, and then wrap myself around you for the rest of the night."

David relaxed in Thomas's arms. "That sounds both sickeningly sweet and absolutely perfect. What would I do without you?"

"Yes, yes, I'm wonderful, I know. Run along and I'll see you tonight."

David licked his lips and then planted them on Thomas's. "I'm glad you know it. See you later." As he passed Sam on his way to the door, he stopped and said, "I'm sorry."

Sam put up a hand. "You were angry, I get it. Let's not rehash it."

David nodded. "Thank you."

"Though I have something related that outburst that I wanted to tell you."

David stopped in his spot.

Thomas watched from the door to the backroom as Sam approached David and whispered something in his ear.

"That's wonderful!" David exclaimed. "He'll-"

"Shh!" Sam said, covering David's mouth with his hand.

David nodded and whispered, "I won't say anything," once Sam removed his hand, and then they both said good-bye.

Thomas returned to his work, distracted by his curiosity over the information exchanged between the brothers.

When Thomas arrived home that evening, David had already begun preparing dinner. "I'll let you cook," he explained, "but I'd feel too guilty if I let you do it all after a full day of work."

Thomas hugged David from behind, nibbling his earlobe before kissing his cheek. "What did Sam whisper to you before you left?"

David gently nudged Thomas with his elbow. "That's all you've been thinking about, isn't it?"

"No," Thomas said, kissing David's jaw, "I've been thinking about this, too," he whispered, continuing his kisses on David's cheek and neck.

"I'm trying to cut vegetables here."

"No one said you have to stop."

"Well it's very hard to wield this knife while you're kissing me."

Thomas took the knife from David's hand and placed it on the counter. "There. All fixed," he said, placing softer, slower kisses on David.

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Yes," Thomas breathed, turning David around. "Very," he sighed, pulling David close.

David laughed and wrapped his arms around Thomas's neck. "What happened to dinner, a bath, and a night-long cuddle?"

"There's time for all of that, too."

"Alright, then. I mean, if you insist."

Thomas gave a cheeky grin and began unbuttoning David's shirt.

"Right here?"

"Why not?"

"What if Kait comes home?"

Thomas unbuttoned the last button and then went to the front door. He slid the chain lock closed and smiled at David.

"That's not very kind!" David laughed.

"More kind than her walking in on the two of us."

David shrugged. "I don't think she'd mind, honestly."

Thomas growled and pulled David to him, eliciting a giggle from David. Thomas helped him out of the rest of his clothing, then backed him up against the counter. He kissed his way down David's neck, chest, and stomach, then settled onto his knees. He ran the tips of his fingers lightly up David's thighs, waiting to hear an eager moan before licking David's cock.

David grasped the edge of the counter and rested his head back against the cabinet. "Wait a minute," he panted, "are you just trying to get that secret out of me?"

Thomas pushed his thumb into David's inner thigh, tickling him.

David laughed and squirmed, then settled back in and enjoyed Thomas's lips and tongue. He played with Thomas's hair as he closed his eyes, moaning deeply as Thomas began pumping in rhythm with his tongue. Often, closing his eyes was the only way to last longer than a few minutes, because looking down between his legs at the most handsome man he's ever seen could make him finish in an instant.

Thomas moaned almost as much as David, having thought about licking his lover all afternoon. When he wasn't thinking about the secret, of course. He paused briefly to remark, "you taste so good," before continuing at a faster pace.

"You feel so good," David panted, no longer able to resist watching. "I don't think I can last much longer."

Thomas looked up at David, slowing down, swirling his tongue, moaning softly.

"Jesus," David groaned, stroking Thomas's cheek. "Keep looking at me like that."

Thomas licked David's length, then swallowed him again, never taking his eyes off of David. He took David as deep as he could, delighting in the effect it was having on David's entire body.

David's knees buckled and he held onto the counter tightly, crying out as he came, forcing his eyes open so he could watch Thomas swallow. His eyes darted from Thomas to the door as he heard a key enter the lock.

"Shit!" David whispered.

Thomas laughed and licked his lips. "Stay just like this, she'll love it."

David grabbed his clothes from the floor, still shuddering from his orgasm. "You stop that," he laughed, running for the bedroom as Thomas went to slide the chain for Kait.

Kait's hands were on her hips when Thomas opened the door. "Why are your cheeks so pink?" she said after looking him over.

Thomas stood aside and made a sweeping gesture for Kait to enter. "I was just having an appetizer in the kitchen."

"In the form of your boyfriend?" Kait asked as she placed her purse on the entryway table and camera equipment on the floor.

"Yes. Good guess."

"Oh, yes, I'm quite the detective. You're flushed, your lips are full, and your hair is a mess. It's either David or some really incredible crudités."

"Well, I did eat something raw."

Kait swatted at Thomas and chuckled. "Cheeky! I'd expect that from me, not you."

David smiled meekly at Kait on his way to the kitchen. "Apologies," he whispered as he passed.

"You can make it up to me," Kait called to David as Thomas took her coat. "I'm starving. For actual food, not your flesh."

Thomas and David reconvened in the kitchen to finish making the meal David started. Kait put away her equipment and then set the table. All three chatted about their days, David glossing over most of the negative, and as they sat down to eat Thomas put his palm to his forehead.

"David! How was your visit to the doctor? I can't believe I forgot to ask."

"You had other things on your mind," David said as he chewed. He swallowed and continued. "Surgery is scheduled for Tuesday."

"David!" Thomas and Kait exclaimed in unison.

David waved them off with his fork and knife. "It's not a big deal. I won't even have to stay there long and then I'll be good as new. Not like I'm going to miss work or anything, eh?"

Thomas pushed his food around his plate and fretted internally.

"I like your attitude," Kait told David. "Let me know how I can help."

"I will, thank you. Thomas, are you still giving me a bath after supper?"

Kait raised an eyebrow and looked to Thomas. "What's this?"

Thomas rolled his eyes. "David was upset earlier, I promised him a warm bath to soothe his nerves."

"And soothe anything else?" Kait asked.

"Already done that," David answered.

Kait chewed her lip as she pondered something. "Can I take some pictures while you're in there?"

Thomas's face brightened. "Can she, David?"

David sat back in his chair and put up his utensils in defense. "Down, down. This was supposed to be a comforting tub, not a peep show."

"I'm not a peeping Tom," Kait retorted, "I'm an artist."

"I'm a peeping Tom," Thomas said.

David laughed and shook his head. "I'll think about it."

After dinner, Thomas began boiling water to add to the inevitably cold bath, and Kait ran off to put film in one of her cameras.

"I guess I'll clean up the kitchen," David called out.

"Alright," Kait said, emerging in the kitchen with a camera around her neck. "Thomas, will you be part of these pictures, too?"

"What?!" Thomas exclaimed.

"I haven't even agreed to this in the first place," David said.

"Oh, stop, Thomas. You can leave your clothes on. Just wash him… and maybe kiss him."

Thomas smiled bashfully and checked the pot of water. "I don't know, Kait."

"You're having this discussion like I've said yes," David complained from the sink.

"I've taken pictures of you before," Kait replied.

David gestured with a soapy hand. "Yes, for that bloke over there, and his eyes only. Who are these for?"

"Just to take! I'll make you prints if you want them."

"I want them," Thomas said quickly.

David grumbled inaudibly.

"That sounds like a 'yes'," Kait whispered to Thomas.

When the water boiled and the bath was warm, David shut the door, undressed, and sunk into the water. Only a moment later, Thomas opened the door and left it that way, then brought in a stool and sat by the side of the tub. He wet a washcloth and brought it to David's cheek.

"Are you really so relaxed about surgery Tuesday?"

David closed his eyes and nodded.

"At least that makes one of us."

Kait burst into the bathroom, causing David to sit up and cross his legs. "No, lay back down!" she directed.

"Are you going to get my bits in these pictures?"

Kait recoiled. "'Bits'? Oh, no, don't call them that."

"It's definitely not bitty down there," Thomas chuckled.

Kait tried to get a look, and David pulled his knees up in response.

"Purely curiosity on my part, trust me," Kait said. "Lay back down. Close your eyes."

David sighed and slid down into the water. He leaned back and rested his head on the edge of the bath.

"Do whatever you were doing," Kait told Thomas. She stood against the farthest corner of the bathroom and blended into the wall.

Thomas gazed down at David, taking in his cream-colored skin sparkling below the water's surface. He wet the cloth again, lathered it with soap, and took David's arm from the water. David looked up at Thomas's face while Thomas focused on his forearm, and Kait released her camera's shutter. Thomas met David's tranquil gaze, and both pairs of lips were drawn into a delicate kiss. Kait released the shutter again, and then snuck out of the room, closing the door behind herself.

"You've already taken care of me today," David said, his eyes wandering to Thomas's trousers, "I think it's your turn."

"Just let me help you relax, would you?"

"I'm very relaxed. Now let's get you relaxed."

Thomas looked down at the water. "I can't fit in there with you."

"I know, but if you undo those trousers, I'm at just the right level to help you out."

"I'll get all wet."

David rolled his eyes. "Oh, well then, that's irreversible. Better to just let this opportunity pass."

Thomas flicked water at David's face. "This is what I want; I want to run this washcloth over your body, then wash your hair, rub your neck, dry you off, tuck you into bed, and make you wear me like a blanket all night long."

David wiped his face with the back of his hand and slid deeper into the water. "We could do all of that afterward."

Thomas sighed and leaned closer to David. "Sometimes, my love, what I want to do most of all is pamper you. Since you'd prefer I not spend so much of my money doing that, let me do it in other ways, like this."

David gave Thomas a half smile. "I just don't understand why it can't be both. You seemed pretty eager for it earlier."

"Yes, eager to please you."

David's face softened and his lips spread into a full smile. "Yes, alright. I give in. On the condition that tomorrow night, I get to please you."

"It's a deal. Now close those eyes and think calming thoughts."

David closed his eyes and gave his arm back to Thomas. "Don't need to think 'em, there's no more relaxing scenario than this one."

"Good," Thomas said before placing a kiss on David's forehead. "I love you so, so much," he whispered as he lifted David's hand to his lips.

"I love you, too," David whispered.

A few minutes later, as David was nearly lulled to sleep, his eyes shot open. "Damn! Damn, damn, damn!"

"What now?"

"Tuesday!" David said, squeezing his eyes shut. "I have surgery Tuesday, but I promised Mrs. Manning I'd come for dinner."

"We have her telephone number at the shop, just call and tell her tomorrow."

David wrung his hands together. "She has this interest to help me, I mean, what if she's willing to help with publishing a book? I don't want to miss that opportunity."

"Just a few hours ago you were up in arms about her meddling."

"Nerves or something, I suppose," David said. "A published book would be an enormous step towards staying here. I can't leave again," he said, gripping Thomas's arm for emphasis. "I can't be away from you like that."

Thomas dropped the washcloth into the water and held David's face in both hands. "Breathe, would you? There are several days between now and Tuesday, see her one of those days. Or see her afterwards. You said yourself that recovery should be easy."

"I may have come off more rude than I thought at the park. What if I've put her off?"

"She invited you to dinner!" Thomas said with frustration.

"What if she regrets inviting me?"

Thomas told himself to stay calm or David would keep escalating. "You're thinking too much. You're tired. I'm draining the tub and we're moving to the bedroom."

"I can't be away from you," David repeated. "I have to see her, I need whatever help she can give me. It makes me sick to think of us being apart. I can't take it again."

"Stop it," Thomas said as he pulled the plug from the drain. "You're not going anywhere if you don't want to. Also, David," he continued as he reached for a bath towel, "you did a damn fine job surviving on your own. Don't start turning it into a bad experience in your mind."

David's heart fluttered, his lungs felt like they wouldn't fully inflate, and he wished he could crawl out of his body. "I should have been so thankful when she showed interest in me, how stupid! What's wrong with me? What a sniveling, whining child I am."

Thomas stood and held the towel for David. "Up, now."

David held onto the sides of the tub and pushed himself up, and let Thomas help him out.

Thomas patted David down and then put the towel over David's shoulders. He followed David to their bedroom, shut the door, and then walked to the window. "Go out on the balcony," he said as he unlocked the window.

"What? It's freezing! I'm naked!"

"You have a towel on," Thomas said as he pushed the window open. "Just for a few seconds."

"Why?!"

"Go."

David recoiled as he got closer to the open window. "My feet are wet, they'll stick to the metal."

"Go. Now."

David gritted his teeth, setting angry eyes on Thomas. "Tell me why."

Thomas stepped aside and pointed at the balcony.

David grunted as he wrapped the towel around his torso to cover as much of his body as he could. He climbed through the window and jumped as quickly as he could into the wooden chair on the balcony, still worried his feet would stick. He gasped and grunted again, breathing in deeply as the cold air shocked his lungs. His breathing slowed as he shivered, and all he could think about was escaping back into the bedroom.

Thomas reached his arm through the open window. "Come back in."

David let Thomas help him back in, then fell to his knees on the floor. "Why. Did. You. Make. Me. Do. That?"

Thomas closed the window, then the curtains, and then sat next to David on the floor. "Something I learned after the war, but had forgotten. That dread you were feeling, is it still there?"

David thought over the question, then shook his head.

"And you're breathing better?"

David nodded.

Thomas hugged David close. "When we couldn't shake men from their shellshock, sometimes it helped to put them in an entirely different environment. Hot day? Take an ice cold bath. Cold day? Fill the bathroom with steam. Or if the weather permitted, like tonight, just bring them outside. It didn't always work, but when it came on fast and intense like yours did, changing climates seemed to work most of the time."

David let his head fall to Thomas's lap. "You could've just told me that."

"Not the way you were going. I've seen you like this before, David, and trying to reason with you doesn't ever help."

David waited so long to reply that Thomas wondered if he had fallen asleep. "I'll call her tomorrow," he said finally.

"Good," Thomas replied, "now would you like some help getting into bed?"

"No, you've had to do enough for me, I think." David pushed himself up from the ground and crawled under the covers.

"Would you like some pajamas?"

"No thank you," David muttered into the pillow.

Thomas pulled himself to his feet, and before he even reached the bed to adjust the blankets around David, David was fast asleep. He took a deep breath and combed his fingers through David's hair, hoping it might help it dry in a less wild way. The latest book Thomas was reading looked up at him from the nightstand, and he put it under his arm, turned off the lights, and fell into a chair in the living room closest to an ashtray. He lit a cigarette and inhaled for several seconds, holding his breath briefly so the tobacco had the best chance at settling him quickly.

Running his fingers mindlessly over the embossed cover of the book, his thoughts wandered, rehashing David's quick leap from calm to distressed. The last incident he recalled was related to his leaving Downton, and David's panic over their separation. He wondered if doting on David might have the opposite effect from his intentions. Perhaps David needed to feel more independent or he would keep repeating the same, or even more extreme, behaviors. He felt the most stable of his entire life on his travels, he had written to Thomas. And now look, Thomas thought. We're together, and he's beginning to come unglued again.

He wanted to knock on Kait's door and bend her ear, but she had dealt with enough of his problems lately, he thought. What about me, Thomas wondered. Did I feel less stressed in his absence? If yes, how do we fix this? How do we support one another without becoming a crutch for the other man?

Another cigarette and he was ready to move on to his book. He found himself re-reading passages here and there, noticing by the end of the page that he hadn't actually absorbed the words on it. A second cigarette, then a third. Then some biscuits. A glass of water. A piece of bread. They all did nothing to stop his inner monologue from rambling. Finally, he brushed his teeth, took off his clothes, and got into bed next to David, who was asleep on his back. He put an arm and a leg over David and buried his face in David's neck. In his sleep, David scooted closer to Thomas and put a hand on Thomas's thigh.

"My darling," Thomas whispered as he put the tip of his finger in the ring that hung around David's neck, "I'm trying to do all the right things for you."

David mumbled something unintelligible, still asleep but registering Thomas's presence. He moved his hand from Thomas's leg to his necklace, and finding Thomas's hand there, he squeezed it in his and mumbled again.

"Did I wake you?"

Thomas's question was met with rhythmic breathing. He had first hoped David woke up enough to have a discussion, but knew that would ultimately lead nowhere productive, either. He laughed at himself, thinking if he wanted someone to dote on, maybe he should get a cat.

"Are you naked?" David whispered.

Thomas laughed again. "So now you're awake."

David faced Thomas and let Thomas snuggle him closely. "I'm still cold from your stunt. Warm me up."

"Yes, dear," Thomas replied.

"Were you smoking?"

"Yes. Sorry, do I smell like it?"

"I just hope you weren't smoking because I made you upset."

"Oh, David," Thomas said, kissing David's head, "I just don't like to see you so burdened."

David kissed Thomas's collarbone and shoulder. "It's out of my system, don't think about it another second."

"If you say so," Thomas whispered.

David fell back to sleep a moment later, but Thomas lay awake for another hour, petting and rubbing David's neck and back, thinking of different ways to make things better for them both. His mind went back to a cat. Maybe it wasn't just a humorous passing thought. Perhaps a little furry companion would be good for them both. If Kait agreed, he thought, David might be recovering from surgery with a living hot water bottle curled up by his sore side.

As he finally felt himself drifting off, he gave David one last kiss for the night, falling asleep with David's necklace entwined in his fingers.


End file.
